Daughter's boyfriend is going to propose this weekend he has asked me to keep secret she has always asked me to 'warn' her. What do I do

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So, my daughter's long term, amazing boyfriend has just rung me to ask 'permission' to marry my daughter, I could not be happier.
The issue is he has asked me to keep this a secret, a surprise, she has always asked me to 'warn' her if he intends to propose as she hates surprises and is not fussed one way or another about marriage as they will be together for life anyway. What do I do for the best for everyone?

I agree with all the posters who say give her plenty of hints..

Will she definitely be saying yes? You’ve said she isn’t that fussed about marriage.
I wonder if she wants a heads up in order to give her time to frame the least hurtful response.

I think if she has asked you to warn her, jog her memory about said conversation.

Tell her.

If I were her, and you didn't tell me, it would cause the fucking mother of all rifts. I'd sooner he spent a lifetime pissed off with me than her pissed off with me.

By not telling your daughter you will have lied and she can't trust you again.
My mother spoke behind my back about me to my exh and it really soured our relationship.
I never trusted her again or told her anything of importance.
Your priorities are to your daughter how on earth can you even question that? You want her bf approval so much you'll lie to her?

I’d have preempted this a long time ago by telling the boyfriend if he ever wanted to propose to DD, not to tell me before asking her.

What a difficult position you’re in. Partly because you’ll be spoiling her BF’s Big Moment, but also because I’d worry that she might feel differently now to when she she asked me & I’d hate to spoil what could be a lovely moment for them both. However, if you still think she’d rather know, then you should probably tell her, but I’d feel awful doing so.

In fact, if I take the mother/daughter thing out of it and replace it with me & my best friend, then yes, you should definitely tell her.

You can tell her he's asked permission but leave it at that.

Thanks for all the comments, still not sure what to do next.

I would like to say that her BF wasn't asking permission as such, more like seeking my blessing as her Mum. I know he was hoping that I would approve, (which I do), but I did tell him it is not my thoughts/opinion that counts, it is my daughters decision, and what they do with their lives is up to them! Married or not they are the most suited couple, both supportive of each other, independent and such great company to be around, kind, thoughtful, considerate, so no surprise in wanting to share good news and the
bad occasionally.

Tell her, I don't get what the hand wringing and don't-knowing is about.

warn her

she's your daughter

she specifically asked you to warn her if this occurred

I don't even get why this is a decision you have to make.

and maybe she wants warning because she might want to say no or stop the proposal.

for pity's sake, warn her!!

Tell her, and tell him you're going to tell her. Fairest all round.
If you don't, she will be rightly angry with you.

I would say the fact that your daughter is so clear she never wants a surprise proposal and yet this boyfriend thinks she'd love it suggests he doesn't know her well enough anyway. Or is just inconsiderate.

If you don't tell her, you're putting his lovely moment above her wishes. She has asked you to do this, and you said you would, so do it. Honestly, otherwise you are conspiring with the boyfriend for his happiness not hers, and if I were her, I'd feel very betrayed and annoyed.

I wouldn’t say it out loud but I’d heavily hint, tell her that you’ll treat her to a manicure or ask if she’s got something dressy to put on.

ShE will find out that you knew and if I was her be very annoyed that you didn’t mention when she specifically asked you to. I like the ideas of either hinting around it or asking straight out if she still wants to be told. If she says yes without a doubt then tell her! If not don’t. I think your loyalty should be to her rather than her bf

I think hinting about manicures etc is actually worse - if you don't want a surprise, you're not going to enjoy being primped up to pretend to be surprised and act as if you like it, or your lovely surprise being colluded at.

JUST. TELL. HER. LIKE. YOU. PROMISED!

Why does she want to be warned?

So that she can be mentally prepared/appropriately dressed?

diddl I assume it's this - she hates surprises and is not fussed one way or another about marriage as they will be together for life anyway

First loyalty to DD, so give her a clue without telling her outright.

I like Peppa's idea of asking if she'd still want to be told and if she says 'Yes' just start nodding very obviously and say 'OK. What if I've been asked to keep a secret?' Then grin and walk away.

God I dont think I'd tell. She says she doesn't like surprises but what is telling her going to achieve? She's not going to know the exact moment he's going to do it or how etc.

Is she going to stop it? Is she going to tell him not to propose? That would be shit and I wouldn't want to be a part of breaking them up.

Not having a big 'surprise' proposal =/= breaking up! The daughter wants to be with him, she thinks they'll be together for life - she just doesn't want a big embarrassing proposal!

I would tell her. Because I’m just like her, I really hate surprises.

I like the idea by MinaPaws though.

Don’t tell her! If she hates surprises I would take that to mean she doesn’t want a huge public proposal. If he’s planning something public have a chat with him, but a private proposal should come from her partner not her mum!! Telling her would seriously ruin it for both of them and you can’t fix that afterwards.