Support and Wisdom at the Crown Cafe (NC Part 10)

[Basseting]

welcome to all going / maintaining No Contact
for whatever reason. Support, advice, wisdom and fun available here.
(and virtual coffee and cake too).

I want to kiss mine too 😍😍😍

Today has been fucking rough found out my family held a big Easter meal but didn't invite us which really hurt. My son has asd and isn't coping well at the moment but it still hurt a lot when I'm hurting anyway.

Mermaid that's really shitty. Fuck 'em.

I almost sent an email!! I felt so bad about LO missing his two kids. However I'm pretty sure he's going to be massively pissed off with me after I told him my older kids couldn't stand his two in my last communication (which is true, they couldn't and I was running out of excuses as to why they couldn't come round)I also messaged his ex to say I didn't believe a word he told me about her and that I was in agreement with her on things with the kids so he'll be majorly pissed with me. I blocked straight after they'd read the messages so they couldn't say anything and therefore I have the upper hand do to speak. Not that it matters but I Fucked them off on my terms, not his or theirs or whatever. I dumped him though so the terms were mine anyway it's just that we'd said we'd stay friends. Then he was a whiny pathetic twat so no way I was staying friends. Ugh I'm angry tonight!

basseting it's at moments of longing like that that I give myself a couple of minutes but then put up my visual STOP sign!

Sending love and hand holds to everyone really feeling it this weekend. I am too. I feel dead inside. Have had to hold it together for the sake of family life but if I could I’d have hidden under a duvet all weekend.

Have had contact with my man but each time I’ve come away feeling worse. It’s becoming more apparent that despite what he continues to say about love and deep feelings actually this was probably just a fling to him, a bit on the side and apparently I’m overreacting about the whole thing I have to see him on Tuesday and I can’t decide whether I’ll be able to cover up my puffy eyes and put on a brave face or whether I’ll be a mess. I kind of want him to see my devastation because I want him to know what he’s done to me but my logical self knows it’s better to show him (well pretend) I don’t give a stuff. I’m so angry with his disregard for me. He’s a selfish twunt.

How is everyone feeling now the day is coming to a close? I'm tucked up in bed with LO who is still feeling sick bless him. I've had a nice day with my children but felt sad too. Easter isn't a major thing for us (it should be seeing as we are catholic though!) but it is a family day and we've had a very together kind of day which was lovely. My girls go to their dad's tomorrow for a week so just me and LO. I might feel a bit wobbly then I was very tempted to email but him ignoring me or telling me to leave him alone would have really upset me and taken the control away so glad I didn't.

Beloger Yes! visualing the sign really helps.
Well I got through it. He goes to bed at 9.15 prompt (he used to call me then and If i was busy with kids he'd let it ring 3 times / text and if I didnt answer immediately (within 2 mins no more) then I had 'missed my chance'. Well, he has missed his now.

Good night to all of you bright and brave women who got through today the best you could. .xXx

@basseting lovely Post as ever... You are amazing xxx

Had an ok day. Feeling a lot better than yesterday.
But I know it’s 6 of one and half a dozen of the other
Hoping tomorrow isn’t too bad
Night all.

Literary thank you so much for your encouraging posts. You also have your moments of sadness, but you pull the positives and practicalities to the front.

I love this I've got everything I need right here and you guys do too. You're just not in a place to realise it right now but you will be one day.

You are right, we should all look at what we’ve got - which from the stories on here are a WHOLE lot more than the idiots we’ve lost!

Ravens

I am back to cleaning up sick
I keep dreaming about exes. It's not good but my subconscious must be processing. Tonight it was my ex husband, last night a guy I dated very briefly (2 weeks) who love bombed me massively then dumped me by text when he realised I wasn't going to be controlled by him. He'd misjudged my strength of character. Also my latest ex last night too and the nights before. Ugh. Please give me some nice dreams! And no more sick!!

Keep strong everyone x

I’m angry today. The realisation that after 18 months together I’m ghosted by him. I’m angry and him and angry at my own impotence - I can do nothing about it! I want to tell him How dare he treat me like this. And he will be there having conveniently put me in a nice box of past relationships. ‘She was nice but it didn’t work out’ My gracious last messages that I still loved him and hoped he was ok bowing out with no fuss. No acknowledgement of the pain and hurt caused. No consequences for him.

Our lives don’t cross at all so I will never bump into him or have a reason to see him. So more impotence. And compared to the thing he said to me, it still doesn’t make sense that it’s so easy for him to do this.

I’m such a bag of mixed emotions - love him, hate him, want him back, want to tell him he’s not the emotionally mature amazing guy he thinks he it (not that I could dent that ego). But I won’t do anything right now of course. I’m not good NC to be the crazed ex - but hopefully one day he will try to come back ...

Ravens hope you are hoping he tries to come back so you can tell him to go fuck himself. Anger is good, anger is productive. Anger says you've moved on along the process and are doing great.

Good morning all. Lots of strength to you all. Today I've woken up and am feeling much better. Look up the 5 stages of grief at the end of a relationship. Today I'm feeling more accepting and less 'crazy.' Such a rollercoaster of emotions.

I’m struggling with the impotence - that he can just ghost me after everything he said. But anything I do to reach out will just have me looking like the crazy ex. If I message begging to see him he’ll just ignore and it will hurt more. And he told me he loved me so many times

Ravens. Mine too lovebombed me then did a u turn. Hurts like hell. It felt so real to me and I was imagining a future with him.
I likely won't see him again.
I think you know not to go there although many of us have. To be ignored or rejected again..

Noticed we were approaching the end of the thread so have posted a new one here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3210808-NC-No-Contact-thread-11-learning-all-the-way?watched=1

Well done belonger! X