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Original poster

Support and Wisdom at the Crown Cafe (NC Part 10)

993 replies

Basseting · 19/03/2018 21:06

welcome to all going / maintaining No Contact
for whatever reason. Support, advice, wisdom and fun available here.
(and virtual coffee and cake too).

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
anonymous2018 · 30/03/2018 22:25

MrsGrylls I think we were seeing the same man! What you’ve described is exactly how I am treated and it is absolutely awful. Someone telling you they love you (at least when you ask) but acting in a way that shows the opposite is just terrible to be a part of xx

Ravenscloak · 30/03/2018 22:27

Welcome ridiculouslyso and hi mrsgrylis funnily enough both your posts sound exactly like what my NC said - they love us/have deep feelings, wish us all the best BUT then dump without any discussion. Fucking ‘it’s not you it’s me’.

Spineless idiots who couldn’t communicate their way out of a paper bag!

Time for us to take back control and have our revenge. They’ve all got issues, let them drown in them. I’ve looked at why I think things went wrong so will be better placed not to make the same mistakes next time!

Ravenscloak · 30/03/2018 22:31

Mine loves me, I am perfect, exactly who he wanted to meet - he was sure about me just not ‘us’.
Well f&@!* him. He’s an idiot, and honestly, will struggle to find someone as well suited!

Grrr I’m getting cross tonight

Ridiculouslyso · 30/03/2018 22:32

Sorry, thank you for the replies. I'm just so confused I can't even think straight tonight! I know it's difficult to interpret as you're not aware of the full background but with his message is he asking me to not contact him at all? Does it warrant a reply, shall I say Fine, but I just want you to know I care.?

LiteraryDevil · 30/03/2018 22:37

Ridiculous he's letting you go gently. Don't bother replying, you're wasting your time. He's saying he's moving on, you need to do the same. Don't drag it out by messaging, you'll only look clingy and prolong the pain and delay the healing. Head up, onwards, upwards x

Ridiculouslyso · 30/03/2018 22:41

Thank you Literary. I still don't get why he bothered to say it at all, but yes, I suppose you are right Sad

Oldbrook · 30/03/2018 22:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsGryllsTheSecond · 30/03/2018 23:00

anonymous I’ve had 6 months of mixed messages where actions haven’t matched words at all. I called him out on it yesterday and was told he shuts me out and goes cold because that’s the only way he can deal with his own hurt but I’m sick of it all being on his terms.

ravens spineless idiot is right, cowardly wankbadger also apt. Just wish I didn’t want this particular cowardly wankbadger so much ConfusedSadBlush

Oldbrook · 31/03/2018 04:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anxiousnow · 31/03/2018 04:54

It is strange how a lot of the NC's sound similar. I don't think my NC lovebombed me but his feelings were intense very quickly. Maybe they scare themselves. Who knows.
Oldbrook I love your 60 day plan. Please can I join? Taking the focus off NC and back on to ourselves.
Ridic anon and Mrs sorry you are hurting. The list is such a great idea. Stay string ladies

anxiousnow · 31/03/2018 04:56

Basseting well done. Not sending the card is huge, as is the thoughts of your DC's rather than DOM at kiss point. You have come so far strength wise Easter Smile

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 31/03/2018 04:58

I definitely got caught up in memories of the past with my NC as he was telling me I still looked the same, how he regretted the break up etc etc. Everything I'd always wanted to hear.

anxiousnow · 31/03/2018 05:03

The remembering scents too NK. That struck me with you.

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 31/03/2018 05:07

That's right Anxious. It was so odd that we both still wore the same scents as we had yrs ago. And that he remembered.

anxiousnow · 31/03/2018 05:11

Are you up late or up early?

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 31/03/2018 05:12

Can't sleep. You?

anxiousnow · 31/03/2018 05:14

Same

anxiousnow · 31/03/2018 05:15

And the blinking birds singing is making me realise I have to be up soon Grin

anxiousnow · 31/03/2018 05:16

Hope you get to sleep soon lovely x

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 31/03/2018 05:16

They are having a right sing song here too!

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 31/03/2018 05:17

You two xx

Oldbrook · 31/03/2018 06:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bloodyuselessatthinkingofaname · 31/03/2018 07:56

ridiculous it's just one of those messages designed to let him off the hook but keep you still on it ...

literary a couple of great posts there - time for some upbeat thinking

basseting the counting back - yes that's me now ...not even sure what Day it is for me - think Day 52 ....

Olikingcharles · 31/03/2018 08:35

Hello ladies been away for a bit as i was doing ok. NC called me from a number i didn't know so i stupidly answered it. So NC has been broken after 60 plus days. He was full of kindness and declarations of love etc. Ultimately though he won't/can't leave the wife. Why did he do this? What the hell does he hope to achieve when even he knows it's a lost cause and it's not going anywhere( he has actually acknowleged that fact). I have accepted that i will always love him and i have for over thirty years. It's always been there (despite me thinking otherwise). His reappearance in my life has just bought it all to the surface. I'm not sure i will ever be with anyone else again. I'm in bits now.

anonymous2018 · 31/03/2018 08:45

MrsGrylls exactly the same crap I get from mine. He’s so hurt, he has so much in his head. Yea but what about me?!

Charles it makes me so sad to think you’ve been going through this for 30 years. I’m at 4 now and that feels long enough! I’d be devastated to still be here another 25 down the line. Can you try to get out there on the dating scene to try and push him to the back of your mind a little? I know it’s hard when you’re in love with someone else. The thought of even kissing someone who isn’t him makes my stomach churn so it’ll be a while before I’m ready xx