@shitwithsugaron: well clearly you’re completely selfish and money grabbing. Because people supremely motivated by money go part time so they can look after their children.
@NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 I hope the mediation helps. At least you’ve got an end date. That’s something to focus on.
Today’s moan about my horrible ex: He took DS2 to swimming club tonight (he hates doing this because you have to hang around for an hour). I do it in wednesdays (usually after working all day, coming in and cooking dinner, running DS1 to Beavers where he’s a YL, coming back and cleaning up the kitchen because ex wouldn’t do it, and then I take DS2 to swimming club). In Sunday’s ex takes him so that I can cook dinner to be ready when DS2 gets in. Ex cannot cook. He can make (bad, unseasoned) scrambled eggs and toast. That’s it.
I said I was perfectly happy to take DS2 to swimming tonight. So ex asked if I would phone a takeaway if I did that because how else would dinner materialise. He was very concerned there’d be no dinner. Or takeaway (which he always complains about). Because I can’t cook dinner to be ready the instant DS2 gets home and take him to swimming Ex took him. So I made fish and chorizo (because ex doesn’t like fish and is weird about cured meats). Both children love fish and chorizo though.
They got home at the usual time, just as I’m putting dinner. DS2 really needed the toilet when he came in and didn’t shut the back door properly. It’s freezing and windy. The door blew open and got stuck that way. Ex got really angry and nasty and aggressive trying to fix it. I actually had to suggest how to get the door to shut because I’m much better at working things out than him. Did he acknowledge this? Of course not.
The worst thing is that he was really awful to DS2. He kept going on about how he should have shut the door and it was his fault. DS2 thought he had shut the door and ended up crying. So I took him upstairs for a shower to calm him down (and we’d come back for dinner after that). DS2 was really upset so I reassured him that he’d done nothing wrong and it was just an accident.
While DS was in the shower, ex came into the bathroom really aggressively. He announced that I should go away and he’d do the shower because ‘you’re not doing that’. I think he was trying to imply that I was trying to turn DS against him but (as usual) I’m pretty sure that’s because he would love to be able to turn DS against me. Generally the things he accuses me of are indications of his petty, vindictive mindset rather than reflections of anything I do.
I stood my ground and calmly said that I was sorting this out and we’d be down for dinner once DS2 had his pyjamas on. Ex didn’t go down and eat because that would involve sitting with DS1 who ex won’t even acknowledge exists (because he’s a petty, nasty arsehole).
During dinner ex shouted at DS2 at least 3 times about cutting up his potatoes. Dinners involving ex are always really tense and unpleasant. No one can really talk about anything and ex complains at DS2 about table manners constantly.
I’m going to have to do something about it. I resent ex eating the food I make, especially when he creates an atmosphere. I hate the way he treats DS1 and his behaviour towards DS2 is increasingly worrying. He’s hyper-critical and regularly makes DS2 cry. Problem is that he genuinely believes that he’s perfect and totally right. And he’s super manipulative so you cannot discuss anything with him.
A few weeks ago ex was away with work for most of a week. The house was so much more relaxed and everyone was happy. Within 30 minutes of ex returning DS2 was shouting and crying and everyone was horribly tense. Once I’ve got my own place we can have peace and tranquillity all the time!