A thread to moan on until I’m rid of exP

[UnimaginativeUsername]

(Ex)P and I are separating but we have to live together until we sell this house (due to finances). So I thought I’d start a thread to help me get through the next few months.

I so wish we were friends!! I'd take you out for wine and a right giggle!!

DS2 loves the inflatable from hell. And it appears he put ex through a kind of bootcamp experience. He doesn’t stand for slacking when you can be running full pelt through and obstacle course!

Ex asked if we could stop at the supermarket on the way home so he could buy food for himself. While there I think it was dawning upon him that he doesn’t really know how to shop for food, and he can’t actually cook anything. He was very obviously hoping that I’d help him figure out what he needed (and how many meals he’d need to make). Obviously I didn’t.

I was pretty embarrassed for him. A man in his 30s who seemed slightly overwhelmed with having to work out what to buy for dinner for a couple of days. It’s pathetic.

@UnimaginativeUsername and others you are all my heroes! My split with exh was pretty quick - no having to live together after I put him in his place chucked him out. In fact he knew he was being found out an packed his stuff before I even got home! He just waited for me for one last confrontation!! That was very nearly 2 years ago and DS is 14 months (we split when I was 8 weeks pregnant)

Have had SO much drama since then, especially last few months when his new girlfriend of 4 months decided to get involved and messaged me a load of shit on fb 😂😂😂

I admire you all. Keep going!!

stay strong. don't react to any drama bait, or any dig, or any jibe. The strongest person is the one who lets the digs go.

''Eyes on the prize violet, eyes on the prize'' (freedom). Misquoted a little, perhaps, from Willy Wonka

@shitwithsugaron That’s great news about the offer - even if you don’t like the buyer. Maybe someone else will offer today and spark a bidding war. Either way, it’s a step closer to being rid of Daddy Pig.

@ANother27 Dealing with your ex sounds stressful. I bet you’re really glad he just left immediately, even if it hadn’t actually eliminated the drama.

I’m at my mum’s with the boys. It’s nice to not be within 100 miles of ex! I did get DS2 to FaceTime him this morning - but that doesn’t involve me speaking to him.

Also my mum is doing all the cooking, so it’s super-relaxing. DS2 still isn’t dressed, and DS1 still isn’t up. The only downside is that I’d forgotten how dismal the water pressure is in my mum’s shower. It’s like showering in drizzle.

Only thing is, they want to be in by the 1st May...wtf?! Is that even possible?!

No, they’re being stupidly unrealistic. Searches etc take minimum 4 weeks. The fastest I ever managed was 6 weeks and that was by chivvying the estate agent and solicitors daily There’s normally m8nmim fortnight between exchange and completion.

I would get packing.

To the OP, you are brilliant, your ex is clearly an idiot!

I think the 1st May might be a tad over ambitious. But that’s true of any house at this point.

Your life without Daddy Pig is getting closer. I hope someone offers on our house quickly once it goes on the market.

Absolutely; fingers crossed!

I hope you are entitled to some UC. It must be so frustrating to not be able to cover direct debits while he’s splashing money on frivolities. I’m glad your parents were able to help out, but I do wonder why he isn’t helping with the finances more.

Hopefully it’ll all be sorted soon enough.

you ladies are an inspiration! reading your stories and how you're staying calm over the last few weeks my god I don't know how you all have done it I would be retaliating in small ways and generally throwing back whats being's dished out to me! keep it up ladies you're all great role models for your children!

Thanks @ariesgirl1988.

I’m at the airport now waiting to get on a plane. Ex met DS2 and I at the airport and started moaning that he’d lost a glove at the bus stop last night and his awful it was to have to get the bus from the train station (admittedly the station is in a pretty rough town, but it’s hardly anyone’s fault but him that he didn’t put his gloves in his pocket when he took them off).

He’s also annoyed because DS2 and I are seated together for the first flight but he’s at the back of the plane on his own.

I’ve got until Sunday morning in NYC with ex but my friend is meeting me there on Friday night so we’ll hang out together for the weekend. Then DS2 and I have a week on our own, which will be great.

Well I may enjoy the first few days less than the rest! I’m determined to enjoy them despite ex though.

The flights were a bit of a nightmare yesterday. Both were delayed because of weather and the New York flight had loads of turbulence. DS2 got a migraine and was sick three times.

Ex got upgraded so DS2 and I sat at the other end of the plane from him. Which was probably for the best, tbh.

Once we got to JFK ex was a total arse. He was annoyed at DS2 and I were last off the plane (we were right at the back and he’d been sick during landing!) so we were at the end of the slow moving immigration line.

This morning he’s been a complete arse about forcing DS2 to stay in bed (and pretend to sleep) until 7am New York time. He’s been awake since 4 and ex got really aggressive when I suggested that we maybe just let DS2 listen to an audiobook quietly rather than trying to sleep (he was clearly not going back to sleep). So that was fun.

He just can’t seem to understand that what works for him re: jet lag won’t necessarily work for an 8 year old. But can he appreciate that being forced to pretend to sleep for 3 hours when you’re wide awake and your body thinks it’s after 9am is torture for a child. He’s going to be exhausted this evening anyway because he’s been up since 4, even if he had to spent 3 hours bored and annoyed.

My friend is coming to NY on Saturday, and the ex is going to New Orleans on Sunday morning. So only a few days to put up with inflexible, grumpy ex.

He really is a prize prick.

Yes. He is!

It’s very cold in NY. DS2 and I both have gloves and winter coats. Ex lost a glove on the way to the airport and has (for reasons entirely opaque to me) decided to bring not a nice winter coat for spending all day outside but the not particularly warm pea coat he wears to work.

I have no sympathy (indeed, I’m pretty pleased he’s cold).

We went up the one world trade centre today, which was interesting (if eye-wateringly expensive). DS2 really loved sitting at the windows just watching stuff going on below, like workmen on a building site or people playing baseball.

I think DS2 wants to go to the bronx zoo tomorrow. I think we should go on Wednesday (without ex) because it’s free to get in on Wednesdays.

A walk across the Brooklyn Bridge for pizza might be fun. And probably unpleasant in the cold, if say, you'd not brought a warm coat.

Ha ha. That’s an excellent idea!

I am pretty much free of ex for the next week. I suggested he go out (in the cold) to Coney Island and enjoy the chilly delights of Brooklyn today while I hung out with my friend. He’s leaving for the airport in 1.5 hours and I haven’t seen him.

I’ve been out with my friend and her friend tonight. We went for dinner, then drinks (free champagne in the loos in a bar in a pawn shop), then a comedy club, another bar, a wander around Manhattan looking for pretzels and finally to the hotel. It was awesome.

DS2 is sleeping horizontally across the bed, so I’m having to make adjustments so I can go to sleep.

I’m presuming DS is his child. Do you have any other children?

What is happening about access when you move? Beware, if he is trying to monopolise certain things now that his solicitor may have told him to keep a diary of when he looks after DS to show that you are not the primary carer, or that you share the tasks equally.

Absolutely love this thread! I’m waiting for DH to move out, he found a property weeks ago, deposit down but couldn’t agree a date. So, flat was let to someone else. Back to square one. Cannot wait for feeedom...

DS2 and I have had a great week on our own in NY. It is so much more relaxing without ex!

We’re waiting for our (delayed) flight in jfk now. I think I’m getting a migraine. So that’s fun!

Oh that sounds horribly stressful. Hopefully you’ll find somewhere to live soon and your solicitor will get a decent settlement out of him.

Who could have predicted that his gym efforts would be so short lived? (Answer: everyone )

I’m really tired today. Out flight was delayed so we missed our connection. So we got an extra 3 hours in Heathrow. It appears we were very lucky as everyone else going to the same airport got put on stand by all day. The woman at the desk was really surprised that we had a confirmed flight and had been checked in.

It was great to have time away from ex. And lovely to spend time with DS2. I kept thinking that holidays in the future will be like this (except DS1 night come too). It’s so much more relaxing to be able to do what you want without someone getting angsty about everything.

He did keep texting me to check that I was feeding DS2 3 meals a day. Thing is, DS2 didn’t want to eat that much. He’d have a huge breakfast, so he didn’t want much at lunchtime or even at dinner time. Sensible people are led by their level of hunger not the the time in the clock!

I’m going to pick DS1 up later and drive home (I’m at my mum’s). Ex isn’t getting back til tomorrow, so I’ve got another night of freedom.