The Fabulous Crown wearing cafe. No contact thread part 9...

[seshi]

Hello ladies for anyone attempting, going through or wanted to try No Contact. We don't judge on here... Just lots of lovely support and advice... Come join us

How are you doing seshi?

Welcome anon!

Basseting is there any plan of action for your DD now?

Seshi how are you doing now?

Hi everyone else!

Seshi glad it seems it wasn't him.

Oldbrook - so pleased your new job went well and very very pleased about spring in your step.

That's a lesson to me. When you think only NC can give you back that spring.

Seshi I agree it is scary how quickly you fall when you think you are starting to get there. I hope the gig will make things a lot clearer for you.

Ravens is the thought of contacting him after the 30 days all that is keeping you going through with it atm? I agree with others, sometimes we basically need to reach the point of no more hope before we can start to heal.

NK No. It's all in my head apparently. The fact she wont get out of the car, is coming into school in tears, having nosebleeds, eczema etc is all that she is picking up my stress

Don't listen to them Basseting a mother knows best. I've been to school about my DD (age 6) and everyone including my H and other family members, school.etc said there was nothing. She is going through an assessment and it's bringing up a number of things and diagnoses. Stick to your guns

NK thank you! They are refusing to assess and I think they will refer to social services if I push it. It is not an uncommon tactic around here but its pretty stressful I must say.

That’s a good question anxious
NC is helpful for me get a better perspective. But oldbrook said if I could contact him and not care if he’s moved on then it ok to contact him. But I wouldn’t bother to contact him if that’s how I felt.

I need to give it long enough for him to have had some space. But probably for me to move on I have to know at some point it’s over. Never contacting him is all very well, but I’m not sure if it would drag my hope out longer. (Its been two months, three months etc.) I know that the whole idea of NC is to just get on with life and you do move on. If I met him and he said he had met someone else it would at least give me my answer.

I feel confused about it all right now - probably because 30 days is nearly up and I now have some decisions to make ... I’m not nearly as strong as I though

Can you bypass the school and go via another route. Over here you can get an assessment independent of the school.

I think they will refer to SS if I do? It was really nasty.
amazing what people will do if they feel their 'reputations' are threatened.

Plus exH is having more chest pains and was really aggressive with me this morning (kids in school). He threw his meds at me and drove off.(cos its all my fault) I told him to go to his GP. He did. But i got more grief on the phone tonight. I honestly cant take any more from him.
Honestly it has been the most awful day. (sorry)

Picks up crown. Puts it on. Day 8. Onwards and upwards to a shiny new thread soon. Can we call it: 'Cafes, Crowns and Support'? (as that is what we get on here)

oh Basseting what a shit day for you . So sorry to hear all this . As Mums we always seem to be the ones who are in the middle , who have to look after everyone else and keep them all happy but whoever looks after us ?

basseting what a rotten day. Am I understanding right that the school is threatening you with reporting you to social services? That sounds crazy, to use that as a threat, either they have concerns or they haven't! And I would have thought that SS are so overworked that they won't welcome spurious claims from them! Is be tempted to call their bluff tbh.

Your ex sounds a pain in the arse, and a bully. How often do you have to see him?

ravens are you sure you are ready to deal with contact yet or non contact if you do and he doesn't get back to you ? 30 is only a number / a guideline ....see how it goes ?

Meanwhile this came in on my feed and again I think FB is reading my mind ...

tinybuddha.com/blog/fully-heal-broken-heart-make-sure/

Basseting that's awful. So sorry you're going through this. I have 3 SN kids so can relate a bit . . . luckily their school is helpful.

Gah going NC when you have children together is so hard! I hate having to see him. Have read Natalie Baggage reclaim advice on keeping all conversations etc solely about children but I just don't want to see him. Does anyone else have this issue?

Belonger yes. It is not uncommon around here it seems. School had refused to do an assessment. I had asked a County 'expert' at a public meeting. She had said she could 'look into it', sent Head an email and the Head went ballistic (wont show me email, said I was 'stressing out her teachers' and that dd should walk to school with a friend instead. Bonkers. Dd was crying in bed just now about 'school tomorow'. But its all in my head, obvs :( sorry. I am sick and tired of it all tonight. ExH is a drain. I know he is ill but he still has energy to complain and make me feel unsafe. Can I come live down under with one of you guys pls? at least it wouldnt be so sodding cold!

Seshi whatsapp or whatsappmessenger???

I just STARTED PART 10

SUPPORT AND WISDOM AT THE CROWN CAFE.

(hope that's okay and dont knwo how to link, sorry!)

Thanks Basseting

Hi everyone.... Thank you for your support today. I am feeling better... Seen three girlfriends today who have rallied round. I am trying not to worry now until Thursday.... I will contact him then I think. @ravens are you sure you want to contact him? I can't believe how being in contact with my NC has set me back. I was so incredibly upset yesterday and today and so happy to hear from him. He's completely back in my head now... I know I have a mission to get him to the gig but my god its a gamble as I am no longer as strong as I was. So if you still feel vulnerable I would leave it for a bit....

I am so tired tonight.... Apologies for not mentioning everyone xxx

The end...