The Fabulous Crown wearing cafe. No contact thread part 9...

[seshi]

Hello ladies for anyone attempting, going through or wanted to try No Contact. We don't judge on here... Just lots of lovely support and advice... Come join us

Breaking Bad was the best thing I've ever watched on TV. Loved it. Also love GOT and Walking Dead.

I recently watched Save Me and Dr. Foster and really enjoyed both

Loved GOT and Dr foster. And Dexter!

I have heard save me is fab... What channel was it on?

I'm lurking and reading away at the posts. Thank you for the welcome and non-judgment.
Had a great St Paddys day with lovely people. Didn't think about him once. Nor did I message him.
Result! I'm taking every day of NC as a good day and hope they will accumulate and my resolve will go from strength to strength 💪💪

Seshi you can get the first series on demand on Sky Atlantic. It's fab

Apparently she didnt actually say the quote below, but I love it...

Save Me is Sky I think ? Could be today's entertainment.

If anyone is a Scandi fan I found a whole load of them on Channel 4 site yesterday at here www.channel4.com/collection/walter-presents

This was recommended to me too www.channel4.com/programmes/before-we-die

Love that Soso

Ooo I will check it out x

ravens yes I suppose there is a point where we should just stop counting - is that final acceptance ? There will always however be a "what if " though underneath ....I guess that is just human nature and it's not that I am a weak fool.

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00ZK2N7F8/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1&tag=mumsnetforum-21 Liking the look of this book . Could be Sunday reading - if only I could stop overthinking !!

Oldbrook there is nothing to be embarrassed about . You were/are a normal person with normal generous feelings . They are the ones found wanting in all of this . Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Look at me - not knowing he was married and at my age ! I should have known better ! I don't feel embarrassed . I'm still pissed off !

Nothing to be embarassed about Oldbrook. We all fall and it shows how open and what a generous heart we have that we can give our love.

Honestly any man that can't see the beauty and wonder to us dooesnt deserve us. They really don't

this is the Japanese practice of KINTSUGI.

Damage is repaired in gold to highlight the repair which shows the refreshed integrity and strength of the original item.

All it needs is a Crown. I LOVE it.

I love it too...fabulous practice...

That's beautiful Bassetting. Such a nice thought to hold that what's damaged and broken can be repaired into something of even greater strength and beauty.

First ever post on MN.

I need this thread so badly!
I'm obviously not pleased to hear you're all struggling through the same heartache as I am but it's also nice to realise I'm not alone. Some of the posts I've read, I could have written myself.

One question ... has anyone successfully got to the stage where they don't even need to think about NC anymore? Where it's not an every day struggle?

Welcome anonymous2018

I think we agree it’s v up and down. Some days are better than others. What I can say is that NC is brilliant. I was dumped 24 days ago, I sent him one last text telling him I respected his wishes, wouldn’t contact him again and loved him very much. And nothing since. Being NC has stopped me behaving in an unhelpful way towards him whilst I deal with my emotions. I’m now much calmer, more rational and go through phases where I’m angry with him and think it’s too broken to fix anyway. I’ve even gone on POF to give myself a boost.

So, give it time, it will get better. Some on here are 2 months + NC and they report a definite shift in attitude. Good luck

Thanks Ravenscloak!

I am trying to tell myself I want it to be over but really am I only here because NC is the most likely way to hear from him if that makes sense? I send huge, messages telling him how I feel and he doesn't respond etc so maybe I'm hoping that he's more likely to contact me if he thinks I'm losing interest. I've given him a thousand last chances and he hasn't taken any of them.

I'm actually seeing a therapist this week in the hope that I can move forward and see things more clearly.

I'm glad you are feeling a little better and good luck on POF.

Reading these posts makes me so sad and so angry. What's the point of playing games waiting for them to contact you? Do you really think someone who really wants to be with you and loves you would not bother contacting you? If they want to be in your life they will be. All this waiting 30 days, 60 days whatever. These men are taking up most of your head space and you are letting them. You might as well be in contact because these NC games just don't work because grown ups who are adult enough to pursue a relationship aren't playing them. Men can't be doing with that shit or that drama, it's childish. If you want someone back contact them, tell them you love them and want them back and that you are sorry for your part in the relationship breakdown. If they are sorry too and you both agree to work on the problems then great but if not then what are you wasting your time for? They clearly don't want to be in a relationship with you otherwise they would be. Where's your dignity? Your self respect? Some men are abusive so self esteem might have been affected but do you really want an abusive man back in your life? Really?? Harsh though it may sound a little introspection is needed to see how all this NC game playing is actually just prolonging your suffering and preventing you from getting on with your life. Try to fix it with him (or her), if you can't or they can't or won't then cut your losses and walk away with your head held high and stop all this NC drama and mooning over people who clearly don't want to be with you. And yes I've been there but won't go there again because I quickly learnt that I'm above all that high school love sick drama and you are too.

I’m doing NC for exactly the same reason. I hope with some space he will realise that we had something good. If I contact him it will be when I am emotionally strong enough to deal with a second rejection.
POF is just a distraction, we were together 1.5 years and I’m not so fickle that he’s forgotten already ( even though I seem to have been )

And having been left by my exH after 20 years together, and honestly thinking I’d never be happy again and never love anyone else, I’m now completely over my exH. So it does get better with time. And in time I will be over my NC.

Welcome anonymous. Our very own Itsa is at a stage where she is truly over her NC. She is doing brilliantly. Oldbrook is also well on her way and a lot more people are at different stages. I got to Day 30 and my NC contacted me and we've been in contact since. Not sure what way it will go but by day 30 I felt way clearer about things and also was prepared to walk.