Literally just saw a text on DH phone from my best friend saying lumu :(

[autismmumwithafamily]

What do I do.
Standing in the kitchen waiting for the kettle and my husbands phone beeps. It's a delayed text from midnight. It's from my best friend. It says 'nite gorgeous lumu'
I am stunned and my heart is going like the clappers. We have 4 children. She has been on family holidays with us, my children call her auntie. My marriage is not great but mainly because he's been foul to me recently. I can't even cry.

Sorry to hear this OP. Keep quiet and get your bits in order xxx

If you want eviddnce there are spyware programmes you can download to catch them. .

Im sorry OP. Pair of shits.

People DO sometimes stay together even after the most dramatic of circumstances.

FFS stop insisting the OP LTB.

This is her life. She has choices.

You’ve got to talk to them both. First husband, then best friend. It could be innocent. Remember they are both people that you love and who love you. If it turns out ok don’t feel bad about your suspicions, it was a well dodgy text. Honesty is paramount. Good luck, it’s crappy to feel such doubt

Can I ask how old your children are OP? I'm so sorry you're going through this

Have I missed anything or have we not heard from the OP since the might before last? I'm a bit worried if that's the case. Thinking of you OP.

I did a free trial of mspy after I caught my husband cheating. In my case he knew and agreed because he wanted to prove he wasn't still doing it. Anyway, I needed his apple I'd and password but it might be different for android. It was amazing. It provided all his what's app, messages and call logs and even deleted ones. Similar to what the PI is offering for £700 but I have no idea how he would get access . Worth considering if you know the codes. Maybe buy an app you need from the store and ask for his id and password to do that?

M spy works well on android , with iPhones it won’t work if 2 stage is enabled at all, if not you need iCloud passwords and it’s around £60 .

Tue 06-Mar-18 17:08:04 ....is the last message OP. Are you OK?

What's the point of a 'spying' app that needs the person's passwords?! If you know the username and password you can reset your own device, then restore from a backup and give it the other username and password. It will load a backup from their iCloud account and you can have access to all their messages, photos etc.
Seriously, if you know the username and password you don't need an app. And I don't think you need to spy at all. If someone gives you their account details they've probably got nothing to hide.

Isn't the first rule of having an affair, get another phone? which you don't keep in the house. My information comes from Doctor Foster and Apple Tree Yard, so may be a bit soapy. But all this talk of spycams, resetting and restoring devices, recording devices concealed in bowls of flowers, private detectives - seriously, who lives like this?

OP, I sincerely hope things are going OK for you. Not surprised you haven't returned to your thread, as it has taken a bizarre turn. Good luck.

People who are in the midst of finding out their husband of 20 years is having a sexual relationship with someone else "do these things"

Don't knock it til you've been there

Vetiver fatal here today - disappeared instantly on me
I've sort of resigned myself to scents not lasting long if I like light citrusy ones, but this one didn't last 5 minutes

Really sorry, posted in wrong thread, I've asked for it to be moved

am so sorry op

Is it just me who feels sorry for the DH as well as the OP?

They have demanding children and spend no evenings together. She leaves him at 8pm and takes over later. It isn't much of a life for either of them.

He is enjoying texting someone in the evenings and getting some attention. Is it the end of the world?

No I don’t feel sorry for the husband! The Op has managed not to have an affair in the same circumstances.

Yes it is just you who feels sorry for the person who is having an emotional and possibly physical affair with the best friend of the woman he married who is so exhausted from caring for their children that she needs to be in bed so early.

Come on, @ChopsticksandChilliCrab texts like LUMU from his DW's best friend are certainly crossing the line. I understand that he may have felt lonely and in need of some contact but surely he could have got that from one of his friends or family?

If it was completely innocent why did they do it behind the OP's back? And it sounds like they've gone beyond friendship in view of the text that the OP saw.

Yes it is only you who feels sorry for him. Most compassionate people feel sorry for the op who is being betrayed.

Yup it’s only you

Problems in the marriage? DISCUSS IT. Don’t go fucking your wifes bestie. Or anyone.

He is enjoying texting someone in the evenings and getting some attention. Is it the end of the world?
You're having a fucking laugh!!!