I'm 35 today I've realised my marriage is over

[mammymammyIRL]

Dh emotionally abuses me.
He shouted at me & shoved me in front of our four year old ds for the last time on Sunday morning.
I don't want my 7 year old dd growing up seeing her parents not getting along
I don't want them to think Daddy's getting cross with Mammy is normal or ok

I can't do the rest of my life living like this.

Sorry kaith yes I'm the OP.

He must have heard me discuss solicitors appointment with dm last night as he text this morning to say he's one booked for end of the month

This was phrase I used too
Obviously not Cain

Solicitors appt on tues eve hopefully we can progress through the next stage now

Meeting with solicitor was an absolute disaster culminating with him walking out.

He has agreed to selling the house though.

Threatened to cut his contribution to joint account which pays mortgage childcare & household & child related expenses

Just checked joint account though and he hasn't cut it this week

What provoked him into walking out - has he not accepted that you are divorcing or is it money?

Seriously though, what a knob.

I wanted more structure to the weekends with dc rather than finding out on fri eve if he could fit them in fri night or sat night

Well, how unreasonable of you Happier, no wonder he was cross.
He sounds a complete baby - what did the solicitor say?

Solicitor barely spoke and when he did he said ye need to sort this out yerselves

That's not acceptable from your solicitor, and not my experience with legal aid. Can you change solicitors?

That was his solicitor he ignores all communication from mine & stated at that appointment that he won't be responding to any communication from my solicitor either.

That's bizarre! What does your solicitor say to that?

I think your solicitor need to issue legal proceedings. Unfortunately it takes months, (I think from reading your posts, I'm in same part of country as you).

I've not spoken to her since before Christmas, we're getting house on the market that's one good step.

Yes, little steps. You are moving in the right direction.

Today we had the house valued luckily h was late arriving so only myself & auctioneers. He would have been talking up the house with his bullshit & I wasn't in the mood for listening to it.
They'll come back to me by Monday.

I spent a lot of hours last night preparing for it.

He arrived when second auctioneer was leaving. He was upset it had come to this, wished me well with my future & happiness. Offered his assistance with any work my next house would need, which I told him I most likely would take him up on. Said that my own happiness should be a priority as well as the DC's then came the woe is me part, at his age his life is over five minutes after saying he was renovating his own house said that he'd probably sell it, probably to get a reaction from me, which he didn't.

He wanted to hug and said he hoped we'd be friends, I said maybe in time but not right now, we hugged and I felt absolutely nothing for the man I spent almost 13 years of my life with.

Aargh missed call from auctioneer yesterday & didn't manage to get hold of him later either. Chanced texting h & he had heard from him. Wondering now when he was planning to tell me l?

Well Facebook tells me H has a new girlfriend

Oh FFS - why do these men have to be such clichés?
On a positive note, maybe this will distract him and he will stop being such as dick to you - might make the divorce go more smoothly.

We're not on the road to divorce at all but I'm hoping it'll take the pressure off me definitely if he's happy

Hi Happier, well thats a bit of a mixed bag, but looks mostly positive.

Hope you are well, my lovely

Thanks curvy it's one week off a year since I told h my decision.

I've tentatively starting dating too, someone who has always been interested in me. Only two friends know & I'm keeping it that way for now

So I'm one year on from when I started this thread. In so many ways my life has improved no end.
I wake up every morning happy to start the day, I go to bed without nerves or tension, my home is mainly tension free now, I have great times with my dc uninhibited fun, I have great times without my children either with friends or alone.

Still h continues to use his narcissistic techniques to try control me. Mainly through weekend time with dc, this week he flared on my birthday & ruined the evening of what had been such a pleasant day. It annoyed me that I let him get to me but I've got to grips with it now.

Every poster here helped me on my journey in past year thanks so much to everyone

@Happierwithouthim it's been inspiring and heart-warming to hear about your progress. I'm so glad you are where you are.

He will never change (which you know), but you have changed and will continue to do so. He's lost his grip on you. The fact that you bounced back so quickly from him trying to ruin your birthday is testament to that

Just read the whole thread, wow, you are superwoman!! So glad your nearly on the other side of the nightmare

@Imagine2019 wow thanks for that compliment feeling good now, there's more battling ahead but he's lost his hold on me as @Tiddleypops says.
@Tiddleypops how are things going for you now?