NC Dignity Club part 7: always wear your invisible crown

[Belonger]

A thread for anyone wanting support with going or staying in No Contact. No judgement, just lots of support. Warning: this thread can seriously increase your willpower and self esteem!

Recommend also visiting website from Natalie Lue, Baggage Reclaim, or reading her book The No Contact Rule.

Thought for the day

@oldbrook thank you... I made it to 17...lets start again together x

Oh Seshi waht a nice idea!
Pots of tea, plates of hot cross buns, fruit cake (maybe a little nip of something) and our kids could amuse each other whilst we blether (dreams away :)
Prob much nicer (and better for us) than NC contact,

Oldbrook ach, sorry you feel so reeled in. tis horrible isnt it?! I DO think NC is less straightforward than he realises (I get statements of loyalty to wife followed by flirty msgs). good oh, BOTH kinds of fuck up with that and DOM's sending me toCoventry, plus exH being alternately needy and aggressive. Oh, I know how to pick em!

Sips tea. Picks up crown. Rams it on. Sends love to you

Day 22 for me actually ..time is passing ...I actually feel much calmer than yesterday . I just read a good article online but don't think I can link it ( as paid content ) so may screenshot it and post here .

seshi I would say just leave it now . Draw a line under it and yes move on .

oldbrook forward and onwards too

basseting what the actual F*ck him saying that !! That about sums up quite a lot of these men - it's the wanting and the adoration they want but no commitment from them. Weak.

oliking sometimes it is just the fear of being alone that makes us place greater emphasis on these non suitable men than we should ..Im going to try to post this article

Hallo everyone else x

Hi everyone, hope everyone is safe and warm despite the bonkers weather. Lots to catch up on on the thread again!

Great news little that you're feeling so much free'er and have had a turnaround, best wishes for whatever lies ahead. Thanks for popping in to let us know how you're getting on.

Oldbrook sorry you got reeled in again. A good reminder that contact doesn't make you feel good. Doesn't sound like anything has changed with him, still flip-flopping, wanting his cake and eat it etc. Good luck with a fresh NC run.

seshi thanks for the lovely quote

I'm OK, didn't hear anything yesterday and was occasionally a bit disappointed but too busy really to think about it much. Well, I think about it in a backgroundy way quite a lot I suppose, but it's not at the forefront of my mind. Onward and upward! Looking forward to a whole month of NC ahead, after which I reckon I will have fully moved on.

Let's do this thing!!

Part 1

Oops

Part 2

Part 3 , sorry can't do it all but it really resonated with me this morning . Hope it does with some of you too .

And so starts Day 8. I need some stern talking to. Although I’m doing NC fine, not checking WhatsApp, not stalking etc. this is all just a plan to get him back. I’ve been looking for stories where exs returned after a break, looking online at how to get your boyfriend back (30 days NC they say), and playing over and over in my mind what I’ll say to him when I do contact him. So I’m still feeding the addiction and not facing up to the fact it’s over. I am angry at him but I’d still have him back in a heartbeat. I fear I have a long road ahead

Morning all. We are snowed in here too. Weather is crazy and my chocolate stash is running dangerously low. Not good at all.

Oldbrook sorry to hear you were reeled back in. He definitely seems to see NC as a challenge and when he gets a response he loses interest. Truly horrible behaviour.

Oliking welcome. My ex came back into my life after breaking up 17yrs ago. It's truly hard to resist them because I think they remind us of a time when we were more carefree. Was it an EA or physical too? What did he say about your relationship breaking up?

Basseting what a bizarre message. He seems to think you are into him despite you telling him that your heart lies elsewhere.

Bloody well done on Day 22. Glad you are feeling better.

Seshi new start today. Time to move on, he doesn't deserve you and your loveliness

Little lovely to hear your update

Belonger would he be making a point by not contacting you on the 1st March?

Ravens you are being 100% honest though and I think that is a huge step towards dealing with it.

Oldbrook. He was very very sneaky cc'ing your boss. Not liking the sound of him at all. He has zero respect for your boundaries.

ravens I agree with nk, the fact that you're being so honest about what you want to happen is great, you're not kidding yourself that you want to be rid of him while secretly hoping he'll come back.

Live the article bloody, so true. Love the comparison with banks and jobs! Thanks for sharing it.

oldbrook not sure what you meant about new facts. Nothing has changed in terms of the lack of interest in a relationship with you has it, or did he say something about that?

(love, not live, the article!)

ravens I am seeing NC for me as literally me just NOT contacting him and begging him to come back or threatening him ( haven't done these but they have crossed my mind ) or maintaining any kind of contact on any pretext ( have done this ) so that I can have that "contact " as it is toxic for ME and is only stringing things out . I don't think there is ever any chance of my NC resuming so maybe it is easier for me in that way than situations where NCs are contacting and reeling in . (That must be so hard and I would likely cave in too )

Let's face it though - if you have to play a game to get them back then it doesn't really bode well, does it ? Don't beat yourself up for feeling like this ravens - we all have these days . The last 2 days I was in the pits , today feel pretty good so far. I think being able to say something on here actually helps - to write it down like you have "I'd still have him back..." - it gets it out of your head and that is important . Don't worry - you will get there . It is like an addiction and admitting the problem is that start of the path to recovery . Take care.

@ravens that has been me for the past two months.... Secretly hoping that NC will bring him back. Yesterday for the first time I had to face up to the truth that be is NEVER coming back and its bloody hard!! But listening to the Ted talk it really hit home when he said hope hinders recovery.... And I do think he is right....
I have been heartbroken before and I got over it.... But I didn't have you guys then... So we can do this!!!!

I am sensing positivity today which is wonderful . I think we have just been out of our routines with all this snow and bad weather and it has just given us more time to dwell than is good for us . It's just a shit time of year too . I always want to walk when my head is "doing me in" - get outside and breathe some fresh air ) and currently just not possible although I braved the roads and got other exercise ( other than today - still sitting in bed looking at crap TV) .