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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

NC Dignity Club part 7: always wear your invisible crown

999 replies

Belonger · 23/02/2018 15:09

A thread for anyone wanting support with going or staying in No Contact. No judgement, just lots of support. Warning: this thread can seriously increase your willpower and self esteem!

Recommend also visiting website from Natalie Lue, Baggage Reclaim, or reading her book The No Contact Rule.

OP posts:
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Belonger · 23/02/2018 19:46

This is us

NC Dignity Club part 7: always wear your invisible crown
OP posts:
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Zoo33 · 23/02/2018 20:33

I just had to cycle home from work in my socks. New low. And not a crown in sight unless you count the nearest pub?

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Bloodyuselessatthinkingofaname · 23/02/2018 20:36

I needed to read that belonger - the article "can't we just be friends" ....although I am still NC I am feeling emotionally weak .

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gettingthereshopefully · 23/02/2018 20:40

Friday nights are never good for feeling strong and serene in my opinion Bloodyuseless.

You made me laugh Zoo33! Grin

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MyGastIsFlabbered · 23/02/2018 20:44

I'm really struggling tonight. I bloody miss him. It would be easier if he'd been a dick, but he hadn't really, he just thought he was ready for a relationship when he wasn't.

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gettingthereshopefully · 23/02/2018 20:54

It's worse when you can't hate them with a vengeance MyGastis.

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Teensandfuture · 23/02/2018 21:01

I had such a manic day and long week so I'm just so happy to be home and go early to bed..
NC can go f**k himself, I've got no energy to miss him tonight 😂

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Teensandfuture · 23/02/2018 21:05

Mygast but he's ready to be FWB though.

So he's out to get what he wants but not giving you what YOU want

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gettingthereshopefully · 23/02/2018 21:19

Teens, I know the feeling! Crazy week here too!

Have had a flurry of messages from The Biologist.

NC has been quiet for four days but that's totally normal for him. (It used to drive me to distraction but now I'm just happy I don't mind if and when he writes).

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Oldbrook · 23/02/2018 22:18

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Oldbrook · 23/02/2018 22:21

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NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 23/02/2018 22:38

Oldbrook not going is sending out a very powerful message to him. It really is.

I don't think taking the 2 month break would work for us. Hard to explain but I think sporadic checking in is probably the least painful avenue

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Oldbrook · 23/02/2018 22:57

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NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 23/02/2018 23:08

Oh congrats on the new job. Yes he will know without a shadow of a doubt that you've departed. Good on ya

I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. It's a complete gamble and I haven't a clue what I'm at but I'm going with my instincts

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Oldbrook · 23/02/2018 23:28

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NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 23/02/2018 23:36

I know the feeling. I've ignored mine a few times and it's never ended well. Must read up on it when my inner critic is hurling insults at me

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Oldbrook · 24/02/2018 00:00

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Oldbrook · 24/02/2018 00:01

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Rhubarbginn · 24/02/2018 00:05

okdbrook I agree with the others. Don’t go. Remember you said at least 6 months. He’s clearly missing you. But more likely what you did for him.
New thread. New day and day 1 nc for me.

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NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 24/02/2018 00:11

How are you feeling about that Rhubarb?

Oldbrook if he wants you he will find you

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Oldbrook · 24/02/2018 00:30

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Bloodyuselessatthinkingofaname · 24/02/2018 00:35

oldbrook congrats on the new job ! Best of luck !

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Bloodyuselessatthinkingofaname · 24/02/2018 00:37

I'm not a lover of gut feelings - I went with my gut on my NC and really felt that it was all going to pan out and it didn't..in fact I still do feel as if it will .. I think it is just wishful thinking :-(

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Ravenscloak · 24/02/2018 02:23

I’ve done day 1. I have so many things I want to say, but there’s no point trying to talk him round. Does the 180 work for boyfriends as well as marriages? I think we had something good, I wish I’d been able to try

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Ravenscloak · 24/02/2018 05:33

I can’t sleep and he’s always in my head. I met him 2 years after an awful divorce which is still going on. I had been in a very bad way and he was just what I needed. Now I’ve got to cope with this ending 1.5 yrs on.
But I think giving him some space is a good idea so I’ve got to stay NC
It’s nice to have company on this thread

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