NC Dignity Club part 7: always wear your invisible crown

[Belonger]

A thread for anyone wanting support with going or staying in No Contact. No judgement, just lots of support. Warning: this thread can seriously increase your willpower and self esteem!

Recommend also visiting website from Natalie Lue, Baggage Reclaim, or reading her book The No Contact Rule.

@Bloody our NCs seem so similar @anxious thank you so much xx I am OK you know... This is final... And I am scared and sad but I know in the long term it is for the best. He does not want me... Or else he would be here... It's simple. So I will find my Crown in the morning... And get back on with moving forward.... I love you ladies....

Seshi Bloody is right. This could be the people end and you are free now to move on.

@anxious and BTW you are not a lost cause... You are a lovely compassionate woman who deserves to be incredibly happy and loved... And you will be...

@nk God I hope so... It was like when I started I could not stop.. Eight weeks of hurt and bewilderment and anger all poured out.... I have absolutely stamped out any reconciliation..
... Maybe subconsciously I knew what I was doing..

Because the truth is for all the chemistry he was an alcoholic, went awol, never helped me emotionally, relied on me to constantly sort his shit out, he got into fights, and sponged off me... As soon as he got back on his feet he dropped me... So no he would never be good for me in the long run..

Seshi, look at you. You are back. You had a dip and are now back stronger POW!

Thank you... And one last positive thought for all of us to remember

Anxious so sorry to hear you are feeling sad

Sweet quote Seshi. Thank you

No it's ok NK but thanks. I am ok. I just meant that sadness that is just there. It's not consuming. Are you ok?

Just read this "Real Queens fix each others crowns" and

Nice crown quote Anxious.

I'm grand. NC was in contact tonight. I think the moon affects him. He was back to normal again tonight so no sexual exchanges..

Glad you are ok. So are you happier with him now?

I'm happier with the exchange this evening. I think he has all these feelings but doesn't know how to express them properly.

Yes. It does sound like it. Glad you are happier. You both have time.

My NC story my NC man was my first love who contacted me via Facebook after thirty plus years. He's married I was in a long term relationship until the madness started with OM. My instincts at first were to just tell OM to jog on. God I wish I had gone with that. It's been a mad 20 months since. Constant contact texts, messages and calls from the OM for the first six months him declaring his love for me etc. Me being an idiot believing him as stupidly I've always loved him on some weird level. Crazy I know. My partner and I had been through a terrible time in the few years previous to the OM contacting me. I had battled a life threatening illness and somewhere along the way we lost each other. OM came along at a time when I felt unloved and unwanted. I've since found out that wasn't the case and have now lost my lovely partner. I came clean and told him about my EA with OM. He left me not surprising given my behaviour. Anyway my ex partner and I have resolved things to a point where we are at least friends. My NC is the OM I can't get past it feelings for him are so overwhelming been NC several times over the last 9 months. This time been NC since mid January. I know he's all wrong for me in my head he want leave his wife, he doesn't love me. Why can't I move past it all? Why did I even get myself here in the first place? I'm so sad....even to the point where I've had thoughts hoping my illness will come back and just take me this time. Sorry for the long post.

Morning all. Well it has been a week and I haven't even once checked in to see when he was last online. I miss him but more as a friend now, I believe I have closed that other chapter as I've been quite happy and positive this week. It did help that I was able to get answers off him, sorry some of you can't. He made mistakes and messed my head up a little but so have I.

Maybe some of my emotional breakdown was because I didn't feel enough for someone and that hurt massively wondering what was wrong with me. I've had a huge turnaround that I will be enough for someone and they can take it or leave it.

I do kind of want to message to make sure we are ok as friends but I'm leaving it for the time being as I don't want to start feeling needy in other ways. I'll trust that we are and pick up at some stage.

Best of luck queens and thank you for your support over the last few months. I haven't always posted but sometimes just read. I'm singing off but hope it all works out for you. You are worthy, you will be loved by someone who deserves you and wants to give you their all As my friend said to me don't settle for less than someone who will jump fences for you not be on the fence about you. Keep your crowns on

Welcome Olikingcharles that’s a sad story, but well done for making your NC decision and having done it since mid-Jan. Sorry you’re so down, coming here is a good step - not just to stay NC but we talk about getting over them and moving on (and when we’re struggling with that). We will all get there in the end

Thank you for the welcome Ravenstock. I know in my head it's the right thing to be NC. Nothing but heartbreak will come with him in the end. I knew all along it would all end in tears and hurt as it did the first time around with him all those year ago. Still the heart doesn't always listen to the head. I have so much in my life to be happy for Two great DC's who are amazing young adults. A job i love and my health. Still i feel so lost. I want so much to reach out to NC and talk to him like we used to but it won't be like that now. He doesn't want me the way i want him. Honestly in the end it's clear all he wanted was an affair partner and i'm worth more than that. I deserve better.

Morning, fellow be-crowned ones (slipped, tarnished, weaponised all)

Olikingcharies sorry to hear what you have bee through and welcome. My Nc came back into my life after 25 yrs and it was overwhelming. My marriage had ended (after a long period of stress) but not divorced yet. i didnt tell exH about NC but i suspect he knows. certainly no going back. yet things will never work out with N'c either. stay here and talk to us, we cant fix things for you but we are a nice crew who will cherish you here.x

seshi how are you today my lovelly@

MK I agree, your NC doesn't have the balls you have!

Oldbrook yy about the dots disappearing. so irritating. sorry you feel reeled in. MF replied to my straightforward reply and said: 'oh i might still message i just need to curb my enthusiasm. no need for you to curb yours though!' Eh? does he think that i want a one sided msg friendship, after the nonsense of DOM? weird.

Weather still crazy here. #roads still shut. exH stuck 40m away so cant help with kids. I spoke to MIL briefly who said: 'oh, get an online tesco shop and put cbeebies on'.... about the same brain as her son then. The roads are shut. The kids are 13 and 10. I am on crutches taking out my stitches. #we are snowed in. I would say she is stupid. but she is not. like exH and DOM if it doesnt affect them, they dont care.

@basseting morning lovely... We are still snowed in too... With more snow forecast. My exh has cancelled his weekend with Ds as he doesn't want to risk the drive. I woke up with that sinking feeling of what happened yesterday but what's done is done. My head tells me that he is not good enough for me and that I have to move on... Heart still bruised... Very much so. I even thought about sending him a message this morning but no... There is absolutely no point. He has literally walked a 100 miles away. I need to get back to rebuilding... I know it can be done. I know it's because I am under the weather that I am feeling extra sad. BUT NO MORE! I wish we lived closer all of us.... I would get on my sledge and come help you out... Bring provisions and we could have a lovely girly day putting the world to rights. How is everyone else today?