Transitioning from affair to main relationship

[niteandfog]

Has anybody done it? How did you make it work? That's about it :)

Yes she was briefly ill but that's a thing of the past. He knows about my condition which again has been non-existent since I moved out. Why do I post here? Because surely I can't be the only one who's affair partner did follow through and left the wife. Also, it's obvious that if he looked for me his.marriage wasn't in top condition

Why are you boasting?

You are posting here because you are trying to validate yourself and make you self feel better .

Not his marriage. HIM! He isn't a top condition kind of man. You are either a troll or an adult with the emotional maturity of a 12 year old.

It isn't different. It isn't special. It is sordid and cheap and your happiness is not more important than the children or either of your marriages, or for fucks sake your friendship!! She was your friend!!

If you honestly feel that your happiness (which I will happily bet my right arm on will be over in under 5 years) is more important than what you are putting his wife and your husband and your fucking daughter through, you are a disgusting mother, a disgusting friend, a disgusting human being.

I never thought I would actively want someone to get their comeuppance so much, but I look forward to the day he proves to you who he really is. And that won't be the man that makes you 'the happiest woman alive'

It's obvious that if he looked for me his marriage wasn't in top condition

You're loving this aren't you? What an utterly nasty piece of work you are.

Your affair partner's wife is or was ill, right?
Really? Didn't think you both could sound any less scummy, but there it is.

That probably should have been 'didn't think you could sound any more scummy', but I think you knew what I meant...

“You are posting here because you are trying to validate yourself and make you self feel better .”

brewsandbooks I really don’t even think that’s it. She just really doesn’t give a shit. Stone cold. I don’t think she actually knows what love is. How could anyone, with so little decency or compassion in them?

You sound 14 OP. You haven't a clue. Take it from someone who has spent ten years of her mature adult life dating, you hardly know this man.

No, I don't give a damn about what society thinks of me. I'm sure I'll be the talk of the town, heck make me wear a scarlet letter I don't care. I do feel bad for what happened, I wish it hadn't happened that way, but now what's done is done. and she has every single right to hate me for the rest of her life Ok Meryl Streep. Calm it down with the amateur dramatics. This is not some great love story. You're just a couple of sleazy, seedy cheats. In six months time you'll be sat at home wondering where he is, while he'll be desperately trying to convince his wife to take him back.

And don't flatter yourself. As soon as his wife gets herself back on her feet, she won't give you a second thought. The first thought is likely to be how lucky she is that he fucked off.

OP I was the OW. Although i was also married but on the verge of kicking him out (he was an arsehole and I made him leave 3 months later). The man I had an affair with did leave his wife and we are now married. Its doesn't always end how everyone says it will. I just give my now DH what he was missing before, he doesn't have to go anywhere else. No matter what anyone says, I am happy and secure in my relationship.

It's less the affair that demonstrates this is a car crash and more that OP really, really gets off on being flamed for it. I don't know exactly why she does but it's a bad sign.

Happi isnt he so lucky to have found you. Youre obviously SO much superior to his previous wife "doesnt have to go anywhere else" = its all her fault for not shagging him enough

I knew a man who left his wife in a callous manner for a younger woman. They stayed together long term but his relationship with his adult dc never recovered. One of them I know only visits because he feels he should but cant wait to leave, and has felt like that for years.

It may be happy ever after to you but your children may come to barely tolerate you in years to come.

Quite the opposite actually. He has taken on my DDs as him own and his own DD and DS have said they've never seen him happier. Each to their own opinion. Just giving my view. I'm very happy as is he.

OP you have issued him with deadlines insisting he leaves his wife by x, thought about telling his stbx about your affair. You were on friendly terms with her.

You have said you travel for work. Let's hope he isn't a serial cheat.

Happiwifey “It doesn't always end how everyone says it will”

It’s not the end yet. I suspect it’s early days compared to how long he was with his wife.

Apparently statistically 75% of second marriages end in divorce, so the odds aren't great but 25% make it.

I agree with the majority , you seem really quite unhinged but what I found especially disturbing is , on one thread there's a woman detailing her discovery that her DH was having an affair... you offered her support, even advising that you were going through a "similar thing" with your husband when in fact you were in the total opposite position of her role.
Did you feel that it was your lover's wife OP? Is that why you stalk these forums , hoping she may post?

Totally classless. Enjoy your "victory" , I have no doubt it will be tainted.

@snowzicle is that based on all second marriages?

Do not believe in karma or that OP will ever regret her decisions.

Fingers and toes crossed, you never feel the pain you have put others through.

Yes, I've told him, he doesn't care.

Transitioning my arse, what you mean is what can you do to stop him screwing you over like his wife. You can’t and deep down you know this. Good luck in not driving yourself crazy with what your prince is up to when he’s not in spitting distance of you.

They always come on these boards because they’re lonely.
Their affair partners are with their wife’s and dc and the mistress wants to talk about her affair to fill the time and keep her dreams alive.
Op can’t discuss it in real life because she has no friends or they are sick to death of her bullshit and they don’t want to hear it.
Op reads these boards and feel important and dare I say it ..powerful.

Op you are neither. I just picture you swaying around your living room clutching your phone in one hand pressing refresh and pressing updates on her or his fb page wailing ‘but I am sexier.. I am prettier.. it’s me he loves’.
You’re a tragic figure. I hope the wife dumps his ass and you can have him it’s what you both deserve.

@Happiwifey thank you! It's stories like yours that I'm looking for. For the record, I never pressured him into doing it... All the deadlines were self-imposed and never even mentioned them to him l, I just knew he had to get his act together by then. 99.9% of everyone that knew about this told me he would never do it but he did. So maybe the same applies for people who say this won't work

Nite

If you at so confident in your relationship why do you need to ask the question?

Are you divorced and living together with your new partner?

So maybe the same applies for people who say this won't work

Why are you so anxious to drive people into telling you it won't work?

I just want to hear how did people deal with going public and our children. I know both our children need to be told around the same time as they go to the same school.