Transitioning from affair to main relationship

[niteandfog]

Has anybody done it? How did you make it work? That's about it :)

There's just no point commenting on the OPs threads. There really isn't.

Let's hope bitzy, as the country would really be improved by the immigration of such individuals. Not.

Cool then, I’m sure everyone thinking you’re a home wrecker and and untrustworthy unhinged bitch is fine because he’s obviously gold standard here, he’s worth it (a man who cheats on his wife is totally worth it eh?)

And I don't know why you keep thinking I don't care about my daughter... She's very well looked after by me

Really? Because it came across like you didn’t give much of a fuck in that epic thread of yours previously 🙄

@ShatnersWig totally agree. I doubt this is real, just some sad person looking for kicks. I'd say to everyone don't even bother commenting on this, we are just giving op what they want

I feel sorry for the amount of people who were left for the ow/om. This happened to me and now I suffer from depression and anxiety. No one seems to think about the damaged caused to the ones left behind, It's very sad.

I really hope you arent real. You are playing with peoples lives here. I'm sure everyone thinks at first 'he's the one' just as his wife did

OP your attitude is really strange for someone going through this.

Life is rarely black and white. I have been in a similar situation although only one of us was married (I was engaged though), we were both in our early twenties and there were no children involved. It was the most distressing thing either of us have ever been through and DH ended up with severe depression. We had a very turbulent year following the separations because of the intense guilt both of us felt and this impacted on our ability to have a stable relationship with each other.

However, we are now very happily married and have two lovely DC. We have been together for more than 20 years (but even now I still sometimes have horrible, upsetting, guilt ridden dreams about it all)

So it can work out but I am not optimistic about your chances given your attitude and approach to this. It seems very selfish. Your priority should be the children.

Seriously? Now you're talking about my immigration status?? I'm a highly skilled professional that pays a significant amount on taxes!!

You just don't seem to get what people are saying do You? You say you feel bad but the way you talk about it doesn't scream regret. It's been 4 months how can you know anything about him in 4 months when he has been married to someone else the entire time. The only thing you truly know is that he is willing to cheat, the rest you still have to find out. You need to keep your kids out of this for as long as possible. His children are going to be confused enough as it is without you swanning in. As for his wife, she deserves to know the truth and it's shows him in an even worse light if he refuses to admit it to her. If you claim to love each other so much then you can cool things off for a bit to let his family transition smoothly cause their transition is a hell of a lot more important than yours right now

No you are not. Your literacy skills are far too poor. You started this thread to goad people and you've ignored any genuine questions. Here, have a and bore off.

REPEAT: Do not engage with this poster. Seriously. Just look at her previous threads and you'll see why. It's a waste of time and energy.

Child first.

Anyone else second.

Sort out your priorities!!!

You have zero credibility

What a poor example you set your dd in so many ways

Yes, kids won't be part of the picture for a very long time. I know my DD will deal with it substantially better than his. My daughter is right now super happy, in fact she said the other day that she didn't expect living in two houses would make her mom so happy and that she'd never see her parents fight again. His, well I don't know but I bet it won't be as easy. Particularly because Thier mom won't want them to have to do anything with me, which again is understandable.

Honestly there is no point with this poster. She really is best ignored.

Glad your dd is super happy on your other thread your mental health issues were frightening her

So sad if she's telling you what she thinks you need to hear

Anyways, we're our only relationship now and we're both really happy

Well that's alright then.

Sod his DW and DC then. I guess they don't matter as long as you are really happy.

Don't bite people it's fuelling the attention seeking fire

I'm a highly skilled professional that pays a significant amount on taxes!!
Yeah, whatever. POS morality wise.

The truth is sometimes people are happier with the OM/ OW.

However, the narrative on MN is that they are simply not allowed to be. In fact it would be easier if, when people think that they could be happier with someone else, they are insulted and told in the worst terms that this is impossible.

This is with the sole aim of stopping people falling in love with others who are not their partners. Sadly, this won't happen as it has been happening in all cultures throughout all history.

And after seeing a friend get lovely support on this board when her DH cheated, without divulging that she herself had been shagging her boss for years, I no longer trust anything anyone says on MN.

Anyways, we're our only relationship now and we're both really happy

This in itself indicates to me that it is destined to fail. If he is "really happy" whilst going through the immense trauma of leaving his wife and DC plus dealing with all of the issues involved in that such as extended family, friends etc etc then there is something seriously wrong with him.

I think that your new relationship, like many others, will be tested by outside circumstances beyond your control. My own relationship, now in it's 24th year, has been tested many times by things out of my control and I've nearly split within twice. We love each other very dearly and passionately, but infertility, moving countries, family disputes, issues with DC's health took it's toll.

Your issues will be the reaction from friends, family and outsiders. Their disapproval and comments will get to you. Your DC, both his and yours may not get along, they may not like their step parent and their unhappiness will have an effect. You may begin to doubt your partners trustworthiness.

Only a very strong love and commitment will outlast all of the above. That's why MOST couples going into it FAIL.

I'm a highly skilled professional that pays a significant amount on taxes!!

If you say so...

No, I don't give a damn about what society thinks of me. I'm sure I'll be the talk of the town, heck make me wear a scarlet letter I don't care. I do feel bad for what happened, I wish it hadn't happened that way, but now what's done is done. and she has every single right to hate me for the rest of her life. And I don't know why you keep thinking I don't care about my daughter... She's very well looked after by me

Yeah. You're loving this ...

Yes, I've already had that happen to me. My closest friends have abandoned me. Her says his family will most likely not the most acceptor , although that being said his sister gave me warmest smiles the other day and she knows perfectly well who I am. So I'm slightly hopeful about that one. My side, well my family and friends who aren't local have been very welcoming of the whole thing. My mom is even grateful! We've talked about it and we've both taken the stance that these things happen they've happened throughout history we won't be the first nor the last ones