Ladies, when can a man approach you?

[BeerAndHummus]

I mean, what signals do you give to show a guy you want him to approach you? Repeated glances, smile, close proximity...etc? And how to know the difference between "I find you interesting but don't want to talk to you" and "please, come talk to me"?

How do/don't you want to him to approach you?

Do you also find guys' "signs of interest" confusing sometimes?

I misinterpreted signals in the past, and I know many of my friend (males and females) did too.

What's wrong with "ladies"?

Well, would you (or OP, or anyone) go onto a forum and say "Gentlemen, tell me what you think about..."?

Be respectful and do not invade personal space.
Back off asap if she shows any sign of not being into you.

Don't be lewd.
And don't when a woman who is sat on a bench minding her own business , spit in her face, call her a fucking cunt, raise your clenched fist and have to be dragged away by your mate, when she politely tells you she doesn't want to date you. This happened to be as a younger woman. I hope the bastard died a painful death.

We are not a hive mind. There is no one true way.

It's relatively simple: men can approach me whenever they want to. Issues arise when they ignore body language and simple statements and make 'jokes' to justify ignoring my often clearly expressed wishes.

"I'm not interested"
"That's cos you don't know me... yet!"

"No thanks"
"Oh, you know you want to.."

"Go away!"
"Oooh! Are you a lesbian, you don't look like a lesbian "
Alternative versions include: frigid bitch, stupid cunt and more.

And on it goes...

Even at 50+, fat and frumpy I occasionally have to make it very clear that no, I really wouldn't be much happier if I got fucked! I have no idea why some men think they have any right to behave like this! I usually just hope they don't have wives, girlfriends or daughters!

A stranger approaching me wouldn’t bother me as long as he wasn’t rude/ weird/angry
If it was just a friendly ‘hi. How you doing ?’ I’d be ok with that

@S0ph1a is bang on.

I'm happy to chat with strangers. But lewd is not on and no thanks means no thanks.

Unfortunately because 'no thanks' is often ignored many women are forced to resort to 'fuck off' or similar.

Maybe if men were more respectful women would be too?

A neighbor of mine with whom I'm on vaguely cordial terms stopped me in the street last week and asked me if I'd like to meet up for sex next week. I'm 57 he's about 60. My mistake? He'd joked that he needed to lose weight and I told him that he probably didn't ( he doesn't look overweight). That was a huge come-on, apparently. I wanted to go home and scrub myself with bleach. Bleurgh.

Don't try this at home op.

Well there you have it, everyone will be single from now on
I agree. Seems so difficult not to overstep/offend. I believe there is a danger in overthinking the right time to approach.

A stranger ‘approaching’ me based entirely on how I look on that one particular occasion is always unwelcome to me.

Literally never. I don't know any woman who likes being chatted up or spoken to by an unknown man.

Laydees 😷

I mean, what signals do you give to show a guy you want him to approach you?
I wouldn't give any signal in a public place to show a guy I wanted him to approach me. If he happens to be standing next to me and makes a few open comments that could be responded to or not, that's probably best. If I really want to talk to him, that's my chance to engage and continue the conversation. A direct approach would put me off. Needs to be a relatively subtle play which I can choose to return or not.

How do/don't you want to him to approach you?
As above.

Do you also find guys' "signs of interest" confusing sometimes?
No.
If a guy locks eyes then it is very obvious what he's communicating.
But I wouldn't go directly up to him. Again, I'd give him the opportunity to join in some kind of jokey discussion if he wanted. But also to just walk away.

You will know I welcome an approach because I will go up to you and start a conversation. If I am oblivious and reading my book in a pub/waiting at a bus stop/walking down the street/looking for spinach in the frozen food aisle in Sainsburys, I am not interested. Hope that helps.

You will know I welcome an approach because I will go up to you and start a conversation

Yes your majesty, we peasants understand. No man will talk to your unless you speak first. And mighty willing shall be having awaited your approval.

Never!

I'm not good with new people...

I can see why some people are taking the piss but think it’s slightly unfair also. So many women on here and in general expect a man to do all of the running but don’t realise that it’s hard! It’s not always easy to read the signals and they can be mixed.

I’m currently having a flirtation with a barmaid who I think is great but don’t know if she actually likes me that way. It’s her job to chat to the customers and be smiley and friendly.

I’d like to ask her out for a date but would be mega embarrassing to find out she doesn’t fancy me in reality and she doesn’t want to see me and how silly I am for mistaking her friendly chat for anything more

You used the word “ladies” - its a no from me.

Boaty doesn’t take any shit. Instant red. Some men are actually taught by their mothers to use the word ladies as a sign of respect and politeness. Poor fuckers got stiffed by their mums

“Ladies” is a loaded term - it implies the right kind of woman, not the uncouth, grumpy or unobliging sort.

That’s your interpretation though Boatyard. You are probably right most of the time but the example I gave is where people can fall down.

I’m not really arguing with you and have read enough on here to know ‘ladies’ is a no no and equivalent to throwing a piece of meat into a piranha tank but not everybody knows this. Sometimes people make an innocent mistake...:Their mum said use the word ladies so why is it wrong..? Ha ha

Just give someone a break. If a poster who uses the word ladies then goes on to to be a prick then fair enough but don’t say instant fail. They’re dead to me. Of course that is still your own choice but think it’s a bit mean

Im happy to chat to strangers but Im never happy to be chatted up by strangers.

If someone is interested "that way" having never spoken to me then its not a compliment at all, IMO theyre the type who went out that evening "to pull" and will work their way round all women that are aesthetically acceptable to them until one doesnt say no. Eugh go away!

On the otherhand I like making random chit chat with all sorts of people. And if AFTER speaking to me someone is interested in me sexually, THEN that is flattering.

But no Im never happy to be approached by a stranger who has an end result of sex in mind and thinks I look acceptably fuckable. Nope.

You can tell if someone is being generally friendly and chatting to all sorts of strangers. Im happy to chat to that sort of stranger.

I do not want to be approached by the creepy guy whose looking around the room calculating who is physically acceptable to him before he makes a bee line shoving any women who hadnt met his criteria out of his way in the process

if you wanna be my lover you gotta get rid of my friends".....but it turns out that I had misinterpreted the songs meaning.

RainyApril, he said he'd misinterpreted the lyrics.

HTH