This is going to hurt

[WelshBoris]

I shouldn't be posting because it's too raw but I've got no-one else to talk to.

Boyfriend, been with him for nearly a year, I adore him so does my DD.

He was out drinking all day yesterday, I met him in our local before going to town with the girls. He was kissing me, telling me he loved me.

I was going home to his house, got in about 1.30. My key wouldn't work. His was in the other side.

I shouted, he came to the window and let me in.

I walked in the living room and there was a white thong on the floor. I walked out of the house, round the back to see some old slapper clambering over the wall.

He was drunk, he's sorry etc etc

The pain is physical, I feel like someone is kicking me in the stomach over and over again,

I close my eyes and see him in the bathroom with his head in his hands, then I see me, him and my DD in bed together yesterday morning trying to give the biggest hugs.

Please please someone tell me this isn't my fault and the pain will go

So and for you WB. You deserve more.

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That is a shit way for him to treat you and your DD, WB. I hope he realises just how appalling his behaviour is.

In the meantime, look after yourself and be kind to you and DD. You both deserve so much more than this

I hope you're managing/will manage to get some sleep, WB.

Take care of yourself. x

WB - I don't know you yet 'cos I'm relatively new here, but I wanted to open my arms to you and give you a virtual {{hug}}.

Been in similar position myself in the past. Very, very painful place to find yourself. I hope you and your DD can find strength in each other. Best Wishes.

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Fucking hell, WB, I'm horrified. What a bloody awful thing to happen - that is just too horrible.
You are thinking in images...the weekend, the man you, and the image of what you saw is horrible.

I'm so sorry.

It isn't your fault.

And it isn't your fault either, if a man you fell in love with has a capacity for bad behaviour. Life isn't that smple.
And it isn't fair either - you didn't deserve this.

I'm SO sorry.

WB
Oh god you don't deserve this
Am so thoroughly gutted on your behalf
What a price wanker
it will hurt, you will hate, cry rage and blame
But I promise you it will go away.
He needs his fucking head read, you are a cracker of a lass and so is your dd.

No way is this your fault, but you already know that.

What a clever bloke to just blame it on the drink, yet still remembering to put his key in the lock so that you couldn't get in!!!

Cannot believe he'd take her back to your place, knowing that you were coming home!!

Maybe he'd been there for a while and didn't realise the time!!

Who knows????

One thing though, what will happen if you do work things out with him?

Will he be doing this every time he drinks too much??????

Definately think that you're worth much more than this.

WB.

How horrible. It feels as if everything is falling apart at the moment, but I promise you with time, you will come to see this as a lucky escape.

You are an attractive woman. You are bright. You are feisty. You will find a much much more deserving man to be your partner.

Really sorry for how it feels right now though, it is the pits.

Wm also
My ds got attached to one or two chaps I spent time with
He missed them when we split
He is 13 now and has no memory of them.
Kids do get over things, easier than you imagine they will
Honestly they do.

You do remember rightly harman.

Are you around WB?

I have been through something similar and it is truly dreadful. You feel every emotion there is. Time does heal though ( as cheesy as it sounds) I had to have couselling (sp?) which helped a lot. I will still never trust a man 100% (apart from my dad ) which is quite a shame really.

You will come through it, at the moment you probably feel like you will never get over it but you definately will.

If you want to MSN let me know. x

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This is horrible.
What a pathetic way to treat a woman.
I'm so sorry WB

I'm so sorry WB. Of course it isn't your fault. You deserve better and I'm sure you know that.

Just seen this WB.
No advice, but my thoughts are with you.

What a bloody awful shock that must have been.

It might help to do something different with DD next weekend, to break the pattern of spending the time with him. Like visiting VVV or going on a boat or finding a bluebell wood and taking a picnic. After all, she's your true love

I had DD in bed with me, so I slept thanks to lots of hugs.

Thank you all for taking the time to read the thread and for offering your support.

I'm still crying. Not for him, but for my DD, his DD, his family loved me and my family loved him. We have friends in common, our lives are linked in so many ways it's going to be so so hard just to walk away.

But, my DD and I don't deserve to be treated like this. I will get married one day and have another child that I so desperatly long for, but it will be with a man who loves and respects my DD and I.

Thanks again, I know he lurks on MN so maybe he will see this and wake up to a few things and start taking responsiblity for the fcuk ups he has made, and treat his next girlfriend a little better.

How awful I really feel for you.
You will be ok eventually with or without him.
Thinking of you xx

Yes, you do sound strong. Chin up, being mothers makes us stronger than we can ever imagine. Even if we are soft enough to allow ourselves to be hurt we fight like tigers for our babies.

Expect the same for yourself as you do for your DD. It was only when I stopped putting up with second best in my life that I met my wonderful loving husband and stopped being a single mum. Grieve and get over this, enjoy your life as a single mum (it has its advantages) and refuse to settle down until you find a man you can love more than this one, who will treat you properly. I had to wait till I was 37. But you won't wait that long, because you are prettier and wiser than I ever was

You are sounding really strong, WB, but I know this must hurt like hell right now.
You will move on & find someone who will treat you in the way you deserve & in time the pain will ease, but I really feel for you right now.
Take good care of yourself.xx

I don't feel strong, or wise. I feel like a fool.

I feel like I'm not good enough, why else would he have fucked her?

We had an amazing sex life, I am more sexual than him. Was the urge so bad that he couldn't wait another hour before I got home?

Or is it that his self esteem is so low that this woman made him feel good about himself in a way I cant?

I'll probably never know, but I do know I will never trust a man ever again. I gave myself to him completly, I let my daughter fall in love with him.