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Original poster

Follow on from my AIBU thread 'to be sad about DP spending Christmas at his exes'

731 replies

Tumbleweeds24 · 29/01/2018 00:03

Had to start a new thread here. I posted in aibu in December as I was 36 weeks pregnant and my partner was spending Xmas at his exes.

I suspected foul play and finally found out today that they slept together on Christmas day, she's now pregnant. He's been lying to us both for months and when I went to speak to his ex in person he's done a runner saying nobody will ever see him again and turned his phone off. He's also fucked me over in not paying the rent.

Currently cradling my 2 week old son wondering wtf I'm going to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tumbleweeds24 · 09/02/2018 18:59

I'm on friendly terms with a few of the neighbours so I'm sure one of them will help out if they can. I don't think my LL will mind because he knows what he's done and what's happened, he was really kind to me when I told him

OP posts:
Weezol · 09/02/2018 19:09

The little benches are having an early night. There was a lot of excitement this morning as I had sorted out new coats (of paint) for each of them, so they are all very tired.

Motoko · 09/02/2018 19:32

Of course you can do it! Have a look on YouTube. There are videos on there showing how to do it, and all you need is a screwdriver.

I can't find anything specific on the Shelter website about changing the locks, but it does say that you have the right to stop the landlord entering your home, unless repairs need to be done, in which case they have to give you reasonable notice. So they can't just let themselves into your home, so the clauses they put in about not changing the locks and them having keys, are unenforceable.

Original poster
Tumbleweeds24 · 09/02/2018 19:36

I'll watch the videos on YouTube showing me how to do it, I'm not completely useless at DIY just never changed a lock before. I'll give it a shot and if I bugger it up I'll give a neighbour a shout.

Aww Weezol the little benches, I did wonder how they were doing! Thriving in your care and out the way of the dreaded pro creator no doubt :-D

OP posts:
Original poster
Tumbleweeds24 · 09/02/2018 19:38

Haven't heard a peep from him yet. Hopefully he sleeps through the night and doesn't turn up. God knows how he has been waking up on time now I'm not doing it for him. It astonishes me that he's even been getting to work

OP posts:
Lndnmummy · 09/02/2018 19:47

He is an idiot

Mxyzptlk · 09/02/2018 19:57

Probably his dad's been waking him up.

NotTheFordType · 09/02/2018 20:11

God knows how he has been waking up on time now I'm not doing it for him. It astonishes me that he's even been getting to work

Which tells you that he's been consciously deciding to not bother getting up, so that if you don't wake him up, it's YOUR FAULT he's not getting to work.

Take away his safety net (you) and he magically becomes able to hear alarms, go to bed on time, etc. Hmm

Weezol · 09/02/2018 21:18

Toby and the Little Benches are going to grow up to be like this lovely lad.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=VvCUORkcaMM

Original poster
Tumbleweeds24 · 10/02/2018 00:26

Aww he's lovely isn't he, I bet his mum is proud :-)

Yeah probably his dad waking him up, or like suggested he's perfectly capable after all and likes to burden other people with getting him up for work so hes got somebody to blame when he can't be arsed.

Well I haven't heard from him thankfully, so I've not had to put up with his whinging self tonight. I'm about to go to bed after the next feed so will be livid if he turns up now, though I doubt he will.

His belongings will be sent to his work tomorrow at 8.30 as he was told :)

OP posts:
Weezol · 10/02/2018 00:54

You've brewed, grown and delivered an entire human being, with all the fiddly bits like eyelashes and fingerprints. You can definitley change the barrel.

Mxyzptlk · 10/02/2018 09:57

Glad to hear there was no sign of him.

Get the new lock on - check!
Get the belongings out - check!

Then that's you and Toby sorted for a much improved life.

Original poster
Tumbleweeds24 · 10/02/2018 17:11

Car booked for 8.15 and all his shit by the front door ready to go, then I'm going for some well deserved drinks in my lovely new dress while my aunt and her DH look after little man. Today is a good day :)

OP posts:
MachineBee · 10/02/2018 17:19

Well done OP. Enjoy your day tomorrow.

DotCottonDotcom · 10/02/2018 17:20

Bet you utterly slay in your new dress!

Hortonlovesahoo · 10/02/2018 18:12

OP: you’re handling all of this like a complete boss. I’m so proud of your dignity, strength and determination. You’re a great example to Toby

fraggle84 · 10/02/2018 20:15

Hope all his stuff is gone.

Don’t respond to any texts/calls tonight inc unknown/withheld numbers

AcrossthePond55 · 10/02/2018 22:20

You rock on, Mamacita!!!!

Lndnmummy · 11/02/2018 07:27

I hope you has a lovely night out Tumble. Well done you!

Original poster
Tumbleweeds24 · 11/02/2018 14:27

I had a great time, feeling a little fragile now though!

His stuff was sent to his work as planned. He wasn't happy because other members of staff became aware of it and it caused him some embarrassment. Good.

He was calling me throughout the night and I ignored him, until 2.30ish when I got the hump and answered telling him to F off and went on a bit of a rant. I'm kicking myself now for giving him a reaction because all I've done is made myself look stupid but after a few drinks I was compelled to tell him what a shit he is.

OP posts:
Mxyzptlk · 11/02/2018 14:42

He deserved it, anyway. Grin

Lndnmummy · 11/02/2018 14:46

Well he is a shit, so no harm done. And he called you so more fool him really. I’m glad you had a good time out, it was truly deserved!

Is the ex leaving you alone now?

MachineBee · 11/02/2018 15:08

It was probably very good for you to let rip. I wouldn’t dwell on it.

Not sure if you have done this, but you can set most mobiles to stay silent during night time hours of your choice. Do this if you can.

Original poster
Tumbleweeds24 · 11/02/2018 15:10

Haven't heard a peep from the ex or her sister whatsoever. I don't see her getting in touch again and I hope it stays that way. She's blocked but if she really wanted to pipe up there's ways and means isn't there

OP posts:
Lndnmummy · 11/02/2018 15:33

That’s really good that you haven’t heard from her. Nothing good can come out of contact with these dysfunctional people. Good for you.