Splitting restaurant bill

[Theapplestretching]

This is a wwyd:

Went on a date last night. Dinner and some drinks.

At the end the waiter gave the guy the bill. He paid it. I didn't offer to split.

He's now been off with me. When I asked why, he said it was because I didn't pay my half of the bill, or even offer.

I was quite taken aback as he alluded to me being a gold digger. As I was annoyed I apologised and told him to send his bank details, so he hadn't wasted his evening.

To my surprise he has now replied with the details, saying 'if you want to pay, we can forget about it and move on'.

I also paid for the taxi to my house - we went together (not a first date).

Would you pay it and move on or finish it with him?

(I hope it was good)

I hate meanness in people, it would put me right off

Sure, but you could argue she was mean to stick him with a 110 pound bill for dinner and drinks and not even offer. Clearly he's behaved worse, but I'd say she also behaved badly.

Taxi back to yours? Did he stay?

Whose turn was it to pay, or was it a go-dutch turn?

Weird. He does not sound like a keeper

Don't send any money. It's not like it was a first date. He picked a very expensive place for dinner, so he should have picked up
The tab.
Do You always spend that on a meal?

I think I'd reply -"I was assuming it would be my shout next time. But now I really, really want to pay. And forget about it. And move on." And I wouldn't see him again.

If you normally split the bill why didn't you offer this time?

I've sent him the money. I like him, but I can't say it doesn't feel a bit soured now.

Who paid for the last meal and how much was it?

Regardless, I'd still send him half the bill minus his share of the taxi - and tell him that too.

Agree with others, big red flag. Dump pronto

To be honest, in that situation - he asked you, he chose the restaurant, he chose the food - I think he should have paid the bill.

How much was the taxi fare?

I've sent him the money. I like him, but I can't say it doesn't feel a bit soured now.

I can understand that. If you expect him to pick up the tab each and every time, then it'd be fair enough for him to raise it. But in the situation you've described, surely the most natural assumption would be that you'd choose the venue and pay next time. So it's odd to make a big deal out of it.

I'm actually wondering if I'll hear from him again. I'm not sure if he was just checking he got his money back...

I think you should have offered to split the bill, but his response would make me not want to see him again as he sounds like the moody, passive aggressive type! I'd send him the money and draw a line under it.

The way he handled is was very rude and enough red flags to walk away from this for good.

You were very rude to just sit there and let him pay though!! that's a real piss take.

Move on.... I know it's easy to say, but (as a pp has said) if you're getting this sort of crap now, it doesn't bode well for the future.... The whole gold digger insinuation is horrible as well. He could have handled the whole situation with a lot more grace.

I have yet to go on a date and pick up the bill. The bloke always paid?! Me and DP split or take turns to treat depending, but we've been together a while. When we were dating he always paid, and often covered my fuel if we met closer to his.
So I think he's being a dick and you're well rid!!

That would put me right off! If you take turns paying, coupled with the fact that he asked you out, he decided on the restaurant and he even chose the damn food then yes he should have paid this time! I know it's not always the case but I have also found that many men tend to eat more than us women. If he wants you to pay half then I hope you at least ate as much!

I would have sent him the money, less half of the taxi fare.

Then dump him. If he was bothered enough to childishly sulk about it then he should have said, "So how are we doing this? Split the bill or you pick up the next one?" Like the rest of us adults do at the end of the meal!

'I'm actually wondering if I'll hear from him again. I'm not sure if he was just checking he got his money back...'

I'd move on before he can reply. Not on for him to not offer to pay for his half of the taxi if he's going to be like that. And the whole ordering for you? Nah, just nah. Too many red flags.

'Now that you have your money, it's time for me to move on. You were perfectly happy with my paying for the taxi and not offering, choosing the restaurant, ordering everything and then insinuating I'm a gold digger rather than expecting me to read your mind or behaving like an adult and speaking to me about it. Really don't have time for people like you. Bye.'

EURGH how fantastically unattractive. i'd pay him and never utter another word to him again. i might even give him a tip to leave me the hell alone!

* 'Now that you have your money, it's time for me to move on. You were perfectly happy with my paying for the taxi and not offering, choosing the restaurant, ordering everything and then insinuating I'm a gold digger rather than expecting me to read your mind or behaving like an adult and speaking to me about it. Really don't have time for people like you. Bye.**

This ^^

Also, for the sake of my curiosity, how much did the taxi come to? It's been about a decade since DH and I got a taxi so I'm guessing they're quite a lot more expensive these days.

I've sent him the money. I like him, but I can't say it doesn't feel a bit soured now

I suspect he feels the same or he wouldn't have raised it. Clearly there is a miscommunication and for such an expensive meal he expected you to at least offer. He should have said at the time, and he should not have behaved as he has, and clearly you should at least have offered.

I would suspect it's over.

A taxi is about a tenner?

I'd have deducted his half of that taxi, seeing as he's big into the 50/50. And then dump. But then, the whole ordering for you, just nope. I've had that happen a few times and every time the person turned out to be a twat.

You’re well rid!

HE ask you out for dinner therefore HE pays. If you asked him, you’d pay

I would be incredibly put off a guy who expected me to volunteer to go half’s over dinner.

I always think, if a man asks the woman out on a date he pays. If the woman asks, she pays. I would be so embarrassed if a man asked me to split the bill

I would be incredibly put off a guy who expected me to volunteer to go half’s over dinner

How bizzare in this day and age. I'd always offer, especially if an unusually expensive meal. No man pays for my company and I would always offer to pay my share.