It's not a: 'you have caused me pain, why were you so cruel' chat tho
Before DOM and I re-met in 2016 I'd moved out of my marital home.
Floated initially partly for work reasons but exH and I had had sep bedrooms for a decade and by the time I left it was agreed on both sides that it was a 'trial separation'..we'd been miserable for a long time. The relief was considerable, on both sides i think.
I had no intention of dating. The situation with DOM (2nd time around) would not and could not have arisen with anyone else.
DOM and I were in touch for about 7m before it became physical.
He spent some time saying he 'didnt want to affect my marriage'
I'd told him that i was already separated but agreed discretion was sensible (I wanted to see if it was stable /would last before I would consider telling the children / anyone so I also didnt tell exH about it).
H says he 'no longer loves me' but feels our coming back is 'the most sensible /practical thing to do'. It would make me miserable. but re the kids / £ etc I think he is probably right.
So, an unhappy option was there, i guess.
Last weekend H used my phone to record the kids in a show and he went through it and, apparently, 'found enough evidence' to decide I'd been 'seeing someone'. He is angry.
He says he will now divorce me and 'name DOM' in divorce.
I can see why he is upset. Although we were separated and living miles apart /sep finances etc I was not honest about seeing DOM.
Wed not formalised the Separation yet and I'd been a bit soft about contact so he'd come to see the kids here (their choice) and I wonder if he thought that we would continue like that indefinately.
Perhaps I have only got what I deserve. Pls dont flame me.
Despite the marriage being over I am upset I have hurt ExH.
I feel very guilty that the children's lives might be further affected now.
It is not the most pressing issue, but I want DOM to know.
He should know.