Fiancé came home and told me to leave

[iwalyw]

My fiancé (together for 16 years) came home from work tonight and told me to leave. I had zero idea that anything was wrong but according to what he has said (very little) my personailty has changed a little and he no longer loves me. That is litterally all he will say apart from he just wants to be single.

I asked if there was anyone else and of course he said no, I said there must be a reason to go from a happy long term relationship to not loving me and wanting me out in the space of a work day. He just keeps repeating thr same things. Single. Personality (though he wont tell me how I have changed just that I have)

I asked if we could talk about it and try to make whatever is wrong right. He said no. He has just finished booking me a flight back to my family. I will be leaving at 9am. After 16 years this is how it ends? I have no idea how to process all this. No idea where to start. I feel sick. I would understand if he had come home to find me in bed with someone, but I havent done anything wrong and he is treating me with so much hate.

Yesterday we we planning to book a meal for tonight thats how normal everything was. He went to work and came home and did this.

Please help me understand.

[user1497863568]

Be sure to leave a few frozen prawns(shrimp) in the middle of the curtain rods. With any luck he'll bring his new girl home just as they've defrosted and started to go off.

[rizlett]

One day him doing this will be the best thing he ever did for you.

There is someone out there that is just right for you.

[RedWineAllMine]

You had to give it a second chance, because if you wouldn't have done there would have been too many what ifs playing on your mind. You would have been thinking 'what if I went back to him we still might have been together' etc. Because his excuse did sound plausible.
Now that you have given it a second chance you have got your definite answer. So you are able to move on.
So don't punish yourself in thinking you was stupid etc, because you wasn't. You needed to give it another go.

[Pinklady301]

Oh Op, don’t beat yourself up. Its completely normal to want to work and fight to keep something going after so long, and give a loved one a benefit of the doubt. You did that, it didn’t work and he should his true colours again, so that was his chance, no second chances.

Go with your head held high.

You will get over this, most people have had their heart broken and come through it in the end even though it does not feel like it at the time.

[CherryMaDeary]

You had to give it a second chance, because if you wouldn't have done there would have been too many what ifs playing on your mind.

So true, Redwine. The fact that OP isn't as upset as last time he did this has solidified in her head the fact that he is a twat.

[RedWineAllMine]

Couldn't agree more cherry I just hope she's not beating herself up about it. She couldn't do anymore because she tried didn't she.

[CherryMaDeary]

Exactly!

[ChickenMom]

We are all here for you OP. You can talk to us. You’re not alone x

[princesssparkle1]

I probably will not come back to this thread because I don't think I could feel any lower if I tried, hard to describe this feeling but I feel lower than low, like my value to people is lower than a rat, nobody wants me around, I must be a terrible person.

I think you are fucking awesome. Genuinely I do. Bloody goddess to turn this emotion around so fast 👍💕💜

[MrsChanningTatum]

OP - stay strong. You will recover and you will be ok.

[BlondeB83]

It sounds like he has a mental illness or maybe another illness?

Be strong OP

[iwalyw]

Thought I would come back and let people know what is going on. Not that I know much myself really as my head is a mess.

I am at my mums again. I am sleeping on a single mattress on her living room floor.

Tomorrow I am registering with the doctor. I have also been to the housing office. So I have made a start. That is all I can do really.

I didnt ask for any of this and feel like my entire life has been taken from me and I cant do a thing about that but try and make a new life for myself.

A lot of people asked where i am from but it would be outing. Think irealnd to england rather than uk to abroad. Someone else asked about my illness. I have an auto immune disease, there is no cure but i am able to manage it now to a point where i am no longer in pain all the time.

Well, if nothing else i have lost a bit of weight so I suppose i have that going for me!

Thank you everyone for all the support.

[eloisesparkle]

This is off field ( and I could be way off the mark) and I did allude to it early on when you first posted - could he be in trouble with the law or at work ( you only have his word re time off for depression) or debtors or criminals ?

[Mommybearx]

I have just come across this thread. Op how are things now?

[ladyloopy]

@iwalyw how are you?

[PankyE]

Read the whole thread. All my love to you. You will come through this! We are all here for you.
You've handled it all incredibly well. That guy is a scumbag.