NC Dignity Club Part 3 - Stronger Every Day

[SweetBerries]

Here we go ladies. The place we come to do the 4 c’s - confess, console, comfort and consolidate. Every one of us is on a journey here but at the end of it, we become stronger better individuals who can be better prepared for future relationships - friends and romantically.

I’m so proud of you all xx

God @Itsalottery me too! Dreading it! Not sure how to do icy calm either!

itsa and ginger Good luck today. You can both do this. I find it helps to think of a time just past the event. So this evening whatever happens you can get in a hot bath or whatever it is that is nice for you. Wear something you feel your most confident in, for you, not him. Smile. Good luck ladies you havd both got this.

Oldbrook so pleased you are feeling happier and you managed to meet and have such a nice time. Like you said, still be careful as the waiting feeling before shows he can still pull you back down but really well done for yesterday. Sounds much healthier.

Rhubard well done day 30! The feeling of happiness without him is key. I crave that. Well done.

NK well done on day 19. Especially as you know it is a key date previously. You can do it.

App I am so impressed at you going to a meet up. Glad it went so well.

Sorry those i haven't mentioned, the thread moves so fast. Hope everyone manages to have a good day.

basseting That is so strange the postcard from your friend. I hope you are no longer upset by it. You didn't do anything wrong. The time you spent on your birthday was lovely. Don't let whatever weirdness him and his wife have dreamt up taint that. He obviously has some secret feelings for you but you can still be friends. I personally wouldn't send the stuff back. As for your NC. He really sounds emotional abusive. That memory with the dress and telling you to put on a jacket made my heart break for you. How very dare he. If you really do want him to tutor your son I would definitely prep your D'S to know he might let him down.

Jesus I know what you mean about following the same pattern. Sorry you are so down. Licking wounds from one man, that are temporarily put a plaster on with second man. I do this too. A hole is filled by the next but we need to fill the hole first. Stay strong and be kind to yourself. Men you build us up then disappear or just give crumbs have the problem not us.

Well that went badly. I didn't manage bright and breezy. More ranty, bitter and interrogating. Now he will 100 percent know he did the right thing. I wanted to leave him with regrets. I certainly didn't do that.

Oh no so sorry to hear that Itsa. It's so easy for emotions to take over when we see them.

Still in my meeting. Why is this so hard? I know all the reasons I shouldn't want to be with him and yet I still do. I'm pathetic.

However we have managed at least in the short term, to formulate a constructive work plan.

What did you talk about lottery? How did he respond?
Hang in there ginger

Oh I mainly just ranted at how horrible he was and asked about his new girlfriend. All really constructive!!!! I'm a first class idiot.

Bless you itsa it maybe wasn't quite as bad as you feel. Sorry it went so badly though.

ginger glad something constructive

Sorry ginger and you are not pathetic. We are all here for the same reason

Sorry ginger and you are not pathetic. We are all here for the same reason

We sure are all here for the same reason. Hope you both are okay.

Itsa
You weren't ready to do light and carefree meet up .Not your fault, just timing wasn't right as yet. Distance yourself, put yourself first and go NC again, you 'll feel better . Don't pay attention to his new gf or how he perceived you, you can't know that for sure that he doesn't regret already. He wanted to meet up, right? There must have been a reason for him to do it and it's because he still cares.

Thanks everyone. teens everything you say is spot on. I should have listened to your words of warning. I feel rubbish but not back to square one emotionally so I guess I know I will be ok.

Ok. Home now. Feel sad but not broken. Have missed talking to him as he's truly the only person I've met I feel I can be myself with but, the good stuff is outweighed because the negative and I have to keep that in mind.

I've spent so much time 'rescuing' him which hadn't been healthy for either of us so I've set boundaries in place and I much more confident about policing them. I care about him but I also care about myself and need to look after me. This is what I told him when he said he doesn't feel 'separated' from me.

It was hard but I don't feel broken. Just a bit sad.

But at least we have a plan for Work tomorrow.

Sorry you feel a bit defeated @Itsalottery but hang in there. You CAN recover from this xxx

Itsa
Well, you could look at it that you were authentically representing your real feelings???
I have met with HIM twice since he went NC and both times I have been calm, laidback, kind and it has got me nowhere.
I might have been better to just be authentic and bop him over the head with a rolling pin (literally or metaphorically).
I am sorry so feel sad about it. We ask a great deal of ourselves, dont we? ((()))

ginger
You sound very wise about it, well done!
It is hard to remember ourselves in all this, isnt it? (((())))

@Basseting It really is, isn't it? All I wanted to do was throw my arms around him and say let's start again but we'd end up here again in 6 months. I hate being a grown up.

I care about him but I also care about myself and need to look after me

That is what we all need to remember.

Think we need to start a new thread????

I can, but not sure how to link???

How about

NC Dignity Club: The Only Way Is Up

❤ that Basseting

Love that too!!!

Started a new thread as really don't want to lose the mutual support here but not sure if this is right but here is the bextvtjread
NC Dignity Club: The Only Way Is Up www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3145539-nc-dignity-club-the-only-way-is-up