NC Dignity Club Part 3 - Stronger Every Day

[SweetBerries]

Here we go ladies. The place we come to do the 4 c’s - confess, console, comfort and consolidate. Every one of us is on a journey here but at the end of it, we become stronger better individuals who can be better prepared for future relationships - friends and romantically.

I’m so proud of you all xx

I'm in London so everyone can come to me I braved a meetup tonight!! I'm here now and it's really good. Have even spoken to some strangers (it's hobby based so the socialising comes a bit later) - I am not a loser yay!! How are your evenings going?

I don’t know why I’d thought that NK 🤦🏼‍♀️. Appella, well done!!! I really want to try some meet ups in my area but I get so nervy about meeting new people. I have just had a lovely bath and read so not as exciting as yours!

A lovely warm bath sounds lovely Icecream.

Sounds like a great night App

Having a quiet night in beside the fire as I've to work tomorrow. Boo

Icecream i only decided to come like an hour before so I didn't have time to address my nerves 😂 do it I'm so proud of myself!!

Maybe you could all nip over the Loire Valley where I live? The wine is fab

Sorry, to the Loire Valley! Second glass of wine on the go here!

Sounds great Getting! How are you doing?

Good night all.
Day 7 completed
#dignified.

Well done Basseting super stuff!!!

Ok. Slightly out there but why the fuck can't I play on my piano/guitar/play music and/or have any kind of meaningful time to myself eith as part of a healing process that I need without my BLOODY CHILDREN HIJACKING EVERY FUCKING THING I DO?

seriously?

I know it's slightly off topic but it's me and the three and I literally feel like I'm not allowed any kind of creative outlet of expression. I feel on the point of explosion.

They know I've ditched the arsehole, which is what they wanted. Why the fuck can't I have some time to grieve in my own space for half an hour.

Sorry for rant. Really do love my Nairn's but ffs I need something more than them.

Am worried about tomorrow because I can see me caving just for the purpose of having something in my life that resembles adult interaction.

Hello all, I have trouble keeping up with you all. teens I'm sorry he led you on and let you down again. That is so hurtful. At least it happened quite quickly I suppose rather than pulling you in further and then letting you go again.

ginger it's so hard with kids to grieve and not be irritated isn't it! You love them but there has to be more than just you and them. Hard to know how to go about that though, especially if they've seen you go through one upset already.

appella well done with the meet up. I have signed up but not had the nerve or the time yet.

My news. I've been an idiot. Meeting tomorrow. I am hoping it will give me closure. Could go disastrously the other way. Wish me luck and strength and most importantly dignity. Then on Sunday I will restart day 1!!!!

Apologies for very rant and slightly unhinged outburst. Am with my kids almost 24/7 and
think that might be one of the sons I've kept the knobjockey around as long as I have - because he's been the closest thing to a grown up I had in my life on a regular basis.

Someone give me a slap and tell me to stop being so fucking miserable.

I'm just craving adult company. Is that stupid?

My youngest is 9 so not a baby. But still feel trapped and hemmed in and totally panicking about tomorrow's meeting.

Sorry.

In drama queen mode. Will stop.

Just left the meetup it was so good, met loads of people with shared interests and had some great conversations. Everyone go to a meetup!! I feel so brave and great and it's really helped me see I can have a more interesting life now he's not taking up all my time and headspace

I would literally love to come to the Loire valley

ginger it is normal to feel like that. I feel the same and think the need for adult company and the fear of losing it has led me to accepting what I shouldn't have.

I must have missed the post about your meet. Are you meeting your nc? How did that come about? I am too and feel very anxious. I thought it would be cleansing but if that were true I wouldn't feel this Anxious!

appella can I ask what type of meet up? Really positive news

Not to be too revealing it was of a literary nature with lots of general chatting and getting to know people afterwards :)

@Itsalottery I run a business to which he's integral. He's not a director but important for bookings we've got for the next 12 months. He screwed me over royally in 2016 and although he's said he's playing fair this time, I'm very nervous. Our personal and professional lives are intricately interwoven so it's not an easy escape. If it were simpler I think I'd have found it much easier to go NC first time around.

Itsa
Be careful with hoping to get a closure
That's how it initially restarted with my 1 year NC guy, I wanted closure. Got none but more letting down, hurt and frustration.

If I was wiser I'd just ignore his texts and that call a month ago, would be so less confused right now!
Better don't meet him at all .More likely than not you'll feel shit and back to square one on day 1 but I absolutely understand why you feel you must see him. Good luck I guess?

Good luck for tomorrow gingergenius. At least you've got good reason then. Mine is just stupidity

Thanks teen . I will see how I feel tomorrow I guess.

Ginger
Your guy sounds total crook
I would find it easier to move on, knowing my guy lacks integrity,even without NC. Id despise him into complete indifference !

@Itsalottery I'll swap my necessity for your stupidity any day. I'm going to gavecremsin icy calm (not my forte) because any foray into emotional lability will result in him telling me I'm paranoid/hormonal/stupid - basically anything other than recognising his shitty behaviour.

I'm just going to have to fake it till I make it. Really wish I never had to see ilhom again, even though I'm consumed by thoughts of him. Constantly.

I'm going to try to be bright and breezy. Not my forte!

@Teensandfuture I do despise him but it's like crack or crystal meth isn't it? You know it's bad for you but tjecaddiction is compelling.

Trauma bonding I believe

Were it notvgor the ridiculously symbiotic nature of our work NC would be a total no brainier.