I am the OW and in love but am I being used.

[Toomanylipbalms]

I have got myself into a situation where I am the OW. He is married, lives up north and we see each other when he comes to Ldn for work about once a week. He says his marriage is more like two flatmates than husband and wife and that they are in separate bedrooms and not having sex. He has two kids under 12. He’s recently got a new job where he will be in London for a few months but then the contract is home based so not sure what will happen. He says it will make it easier to start the separation and not be so bad for the kids. Im not sure if he will actually do it, he says he is scared of losing me and scared I will lose patience with him. Is he having his cake and eating it? My sister is the only person who knows about him and she says he is as it’s unlikely he will be able to afford to get divorced and live down south since his kids are still young, surely he must know that?

Op just to offer a bit of support this morning. Keep strong! He will probably have another affair but at least now you have a clear conscience and integrity. You can move on and hold your head up high for doing the right thing. Don't let him pull you back down. He might text looking to talk - don't talk - there's nothing to be said unless he is single and living in a separate house and already divorced. Now concentrate on your own life. There is someone for you. You have to find them.

I have blocked him this morning, he never did reply.

Goodgirl7 name change fail?

This thread you started is interesting in relation to what you’re talking about here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/employment_issues/3118826-My-colleague-is-fiddling-expenses

Oh wait! This one is even better!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3047945-Best-friend-seeing-married-man

Is anything on here worth responding to these days?

It’s odd because this thread could be true and this could be a reverse but then the turn around came pretty swift and to have said 3/4 months ago you sympathise with the wife in this EXACT situation vs what’s written here...

It could be that op was plucking up enough courage with the two other threads to admit she was actually the ow in this thread. Or not.

The story being exactly the same they prob heard it some where tbh

Oh, those other threads are pure gold in the context of this one.

Yup but it’s odd that it’s still dating for a few months and no extra story details

What is it with women like you?? Ofcourse you're being used! Duh. Please go get some standards and some self respect. Women like you truly let the side down in every way

Either way, I’ve reported it. I understand a reverse in this situation

Yep, they can't all be true!

Woah! That’s hilarious about the other threads. So seems this is true and she was trying to save her good name on mn? 😂

And I was the one deleted....

sheesh

So are you going to shop him for fiddling his expenses, OP? And why wasn't that another massive red flag?

The irony of the original user name "good girl" , yah ok then 💁🏻🙈 , no rust on your halo is there 😳

If he can do it to his wife,what made you think he cant do it to you?

He isn't replying to you. You have an answer.

Block and delete. Don't hang around waiting

Goodness.

I don't think there is anything too wrong with writing threads about a 'friend' when in fact there are about you. I suspect it happens a lot and for good reason. Look at all the awful names the OP has been called on this thread. It's really nasty in places! Starting a thread about a 'friend' is a way to explore the issue without getting roasted for it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

(BTW I haven't done it myself but then I lead a rather dull life 😁)