Disappointed with your sex life Part 3

[lemonade]

A new thread for us. I'll see you here instead of at Part 2.

lmo3 - Sorry, I haven't been able to come onto MN all day. How are you? l xx

flirting? drinks? i need to catch up with this thread.

lmo3 - i am really sorry for all the pain you are going through. I am a single mum of 3, and although it feels ok now, my heart goes out to you. I think the Citizen's Advice Bureau is a good idea - they seem really together and may be able to help. I think the key thing is to remember that things will get better - hang on to that if you can (and i know it can be hard to believe)

REB, lemonade - how are Both?? I have had a bad few days and didn't post 'cos couldn't think positively for a while there - but am a little better now. House is complete tip, work crap, but all of it looking up, because down would be difficult to imagine!!

Hugs and pizza all round

gettingthere - Hi! Sorry that you've had a rough few days. I understand you not wanting to post, but you're always welcome here no matter what, of course. l xx

lmo3 - How are you? l xx

im ok thanks

well im getting there anyway......i think

lmo3 - If you want to talk, I'm here to listen. l xx

thank you. went to the park with the children this afternoon..just got back!!

lmo3 - Hope you had a lovely time in the park! I'm supposed to be packing atm. Running out of time fast. Back late Sat/early Sunday. Catch up with you properly then, I hope! l xx

it was nice to get out for a while...though i am one to stay indoors a lot!!! the kids needed to get out even if i didnt. Have a nice time x

lmo3 - Hi! How are you today? l xx

REB, gettingthere - Hi! How are you both?

hi everyone, I'm fine but totally knackered. Have been really busy all weekend. Children with their father so have been trying to clear out house, earn some extra dosh etc.

have been weights training (not for me i think)

overall am feeling a little better. hadn't realised it's now August until i came onto mumsnet.

lemonade, REB, lmo3 - how are you all??

take care, xxx

hello again. I am ok.

On saturday, DH took us all into town and bought a little toy for each of the kids and 2 new CDs for me. Then in the afternoon we went out for tea. We had a nice time saturday night just chatting and sorting things out.

DH did spend yesterday afternoon on his car but actually asked me to come and help him. Even though I didnt do much, it felt like we did spend some time together. We had chance to talk and the weather was lovely as well so got great sunburn!!!! OUCH!!!

We tried to have sex last night. DH was sweet and was flirting with me all day (sad hey??)and I really thought things were getting back on track. But when it came to it, I just couldn't do it....... DH felt very hurt and rejected I think but I tried to explain that given what we have been through, its going to take time to get back to some kind of normal state.

We are trying to make it work though, and he has agreed to move with me. I told him though that if we get there and he decides he doesn't want to be there then I will understand.

He has also agreed to talk to me more and tell me when something is bothering him. I just hope he does! It will make things a lot easier.

He is still hung up about who I text etc and I did catch him looking at my phone again on saturday. But I have nothing to hide, so I don't care really. If he does that then soon he will realise this I hope and stop it!? I would never cheat on him, regardless of how things are between us.

He did go to work with a bit of a sour face though....cos of last night I am sure. I just hope I don't drive him away with it? I hope that time will heal. If not then I don't know what to do.

How is everyone?

gettingthere - Hi! It's good to hear from you. It does sound as though you've been very busy. I expect that if you can see the results (a tidier house and a bit more money) then that's good. Well done for having a go at weights training! You don't know what suits you unless you have a go at each thing, I suppose! I hope that you hear from your chap soon if you haven't already. Take care. l xx

lmo3 - Hi! It sounds like you're being as strong as ever. I take my hat off to the way you've been coping with things, I really do. Have you got a rough date for the move yet? I completely understand about how you were last night. It's impossible to flick a switch on your emotions and forget what has happened in the recent past and not having a certain future doesn't help, either. He does sound insecure if he's checking your mobile phone. I'm sure he knows deep down that it's a nonsense that you could be cheating on him. Take care. l xx

lmo3, REB and gettingthere - Hi! How are you all?

hello lemonade....i am ok.

DH bought me a bunch of roses last night, which was totally unexpected! He also sent me a little poem by text this morning!!!

He did do his weights last night for the first time in 2 weeks, but it was after he had put the kids in bed and while I was in the bath. He does need to do them to strengthen his back and he has really been suffering for not doing them do I feel really bad about complaining about him doing them now. He has agreed to do them at a time that means nobody elses time is compromised, which is fair enough I guess.

He said as well that we are to spend tonight together, no telly or anything. Just talking. It feels like he is really starting to try and make more of an effort....I am not getting carried away though....i have had too much heartache lately to do that.

Things have been so up and down lately though I am not raising my hopes too much.

Here's hoping (a little bit anyway!!!)

How are you lemonade....how are things your end?

lmo3 - Hi! I'm pleased to hear that he is making an effort to spend time with you all. I know it's long overdue, but better late than never. Now, at least, he realises that the time when he's not in work should (mainly) be time spent with his family. Hopefully he'll build on that and become more and more involved with the children. I'll cross my fingers for you. l xx

I'm not having the best time of it atm. I feel that my relationship with dh is very false and don't know what to do. I'm not really looking for help and advice as I'm feeling sort of hopeless about it. I think I've just got to see it through until the children are older and then we can divorce.

I'm going to immerse myself in housework now and I'll be back here tonight. l xx

lemonade....does your DH feel the same?

lmo3 - I don't know. We don't talk about anything deep like that. He has said in the past that he doesn't want to argue as he's too clever and articulate and so it wouldn't be fair on me and that I get too upset. That was years ago and we've hardly argued since. Sometimes I get cross, but he won't see my point of view and I don't bother arguing as I know he won't accept that he's anything but 95% or 100% right, and he won't apologise. I just put another big black mark against him and it has killed our relationship. Something happened on the w/e and it was mainly circumstances but partly his fault and he did nothing to rectify the situation, and I was really really cross as he took no blame, just blamed it on circumstances. This has happened so many times and I haven't forgiven him because he hasn't said "Sorry, I was wrong." I slept in another room on Sat night but last night I slept in our bed and now I feel stupid because I've given in again, instead of telling him how I feel.

oh lemonade...i am sorry.....you sound like you dont have much confidence in yourself or your relationship anymore, comparing yourself to him being clever. What happened, or dont you want to talk about it?

lmo3 - That's just what he said. He knows how to word his case, and so I don't have a chance of winning. Most of the time, I just plod on and don't let it bother me too much. No, I don't think I should talk too much about it here until I talk to him. And then, I don't want to talk to him, although I know I must. What's that Spanish word for tomorrow? That's me. Always putting it off. Thanks very much for your concern. You've so much on your plate atm. l xx

i didnt mean that to sound offensive....sorry if it did. I hope you can talk to him and sort things out one way or another soon. If you need to talk you know where I am. Yes I have a bit to deal with, but I don't mind helping you when I can. You know where I am if you need to talk.....I mean that.....you have been such a help to me. I only hope I can repay your kindness one day.

lmo3 - No, no, you didn't at all! Honestly. That's the trouble with the written word. You can't hear the tone of voice and the body language. No, you've been great to me. Thank you. I'm just feeling weak and tearful atm and I wouldn't get anywhere if I tried to speak to him, I feel.

can you write him a letter? I have done that before. I am sorry you are feeling like this. Wish I could give you a hug x x

lmo3 - Just a quick note before I get back to doing housework.

No, I don't think I could. I know what he'd do, he'd make mincemeat of it, saying that I'm wrong or being over sensitive or something about each little bit of it. It's too late. I should've done something sooner.

Thanks for the hug thought! l xx