Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dumped on Boxing Day

194 replies

Annelind · 26/12/2017 22:15

I do not like yellow gold. I never wear yellow gold jewellery. The guy I've been seeing for 6 months dumped me by Whatsapp a few minutes ago because I told him I would return to him the yellow gold jewellery he bought me for Christmas, so he could give it to someone who would appreciate it, (bought duty free at a foreign airport so no exchange possible maybe) because It's not something I would ever wear. Because I DON'T LIKE AND NEVER WEAR YELLOW GOLD!

He replied maybe the next one would , and could I post it back to him.

He's thrown me away over my not liking something that cost less than 40 quid FFS!

He is in his 50s btw, and solvent enough to afford £40 without feeling it. Nice to know my worth!

Shocked, but laughing. Thought I'd share!

OP posts:
rainbowskittles · 26/12/2017 22:28

That's nice dear.

LockedOutOfMN · 26/12/2017 22:30

Yabu

AlbaSelkie · 26/12/2017 22:30

This can't be about jewellery.

Does he never listen to you?

I doubt he was the perfect match for you EXCEPT for gift-buying?

isittimetogotobed · 26/12/2017 22:30

Could you not have just said thank you and not worn it?

NSEA · 26/12/2017 22:31

“Woman present” really? But silber jewellery wouldn’t have been.

He clearly doesn’t know you. Lucky escape for both I say.

OliviaStabler · 26/12/2017 22:32

I agree with you op.

I would expect someone I'd been dating for that long to at least know my basic likes and dislikes or at least to investigate before purchasing.

DramaAlpaca · 26/12/2017 22:33

Perhaps he’s on MN

Yes, and saw the thread yesterday where OP was having a whinge about her gift.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 26/12/2017 22:33

Oh my God - is it you off the other threads?

I think he made the right decision

TrojansAreSmegheads · 26/12/2017 22:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RainyApril · 26/12/2017 22:35

I think a gift of jewellery, after just a few months of dating, is very kind actually and a long way from a generic present such as perfume, toiletries or chocolates.

He may have thoughtlessly picked it up in a foreign airport duty free, or he may have chosen it and hoped you'd like it. Either way, the only correct response to a gift is 'thank you'.

Maybe next time you saw him in person you could've broached the subject delicately, but a Boxing Day message to say you'd be returning it was very rude, with its implied criticism and obvious disappointment.

Original poster
Annelind · 26/12/2017 22:36

Alba no, he liked talking about himself mainly, but we did have some good times and laughs. We have different tastes, and I consulted him over my gift to him, so he would actually enjoy it.

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 26/12/2017 22:36

2/10 Not even a good try OP Xmas Biscuit

Farontothemaddingcrowd · 26/12/2017 22:36

It wasn't a box of chocs and flowers. You could have just thanked him and sold it on later

Crispbutty · 26/12/2017 22:37

He definitely dodged the bullet.

Original poster
Annelind · 26/12/2017 22:38

Well it seems he's had a lucky esape then!

OP posts:
yetmorecrap · 26/12/2017 22:38

Annelid, to be honest he probably isn't right for you anyway. In my experience a great many men take years of training to be 'in tune' with likes and dislikes when it comes to present buying. At the six month point , many men are still at the Xmas eve swivel eyed loon 'what can I buy' stage. Seriously, if you liked him, why not just accept in good grace and not wear it!!

snowsnowsnowsnow · 26/12/2017 22:39

perhaps you really aren't suited ...

Mumof56 · 26/12/2017 22:39

Shocked, but laughing

It seems the relationship didn't mean anything to you anyway. He sounds better off.

rainbowskittles · 26/12/2017 22:42

You sound like my mum. And my mum is awful. She has this entitled attitude when it comes to her partners and gifts. They always dump her too.

PoorYorick · 26/12/2017 22:42

OP,, people do usually buy stuff that they like. They think it's nice and everyone thinks they've got good taste.

The comment about giving it to someone who would like it was thoughtless....didn't you think about how that might sound?

Original poster
Annelind · 26/12/2017 22:43

yet I'll just leave him to find someone else. I like swivel-eyed loon though!
He did buy me a bracelet from a gift shop while I was with him once. I chose it, distressed leather and white base metal, I said "this is very me" so he knew, I thought, my tastes as well of course by what I wore when I saw him.

OP posts:
Cricrichan · 26/12/2017 22:43

I don't mind if people tell me they won't use my gift as I'd rather they be happy with what they have. I wouldn't gift gold jewellery to someone who only wears silver and wouldn't give jewellery unless I'm familiar with their style (but I am a good chooser because I see my gifts worn a lot!).

In your case I would have accepted it or been very diplomatic. Said that you think it's beautiful but you never wear gold jewellery so it would be a shame to waste it on you but thank you.

Original poster
Annelind · 26/12/2017 22:46

Mum I was laughing because dumping seemed way overboard. But the consensus here is it's not, so ok.

OP posts:
TammySwansonTwo · 26/12/2017 22:47

Good lord. I've been with my husband over 10 years, he knows me very well but he still makes errors when trying to buy me clothes, accessories l, jewellery etc. In his mind, the fact that I like x means I would like y because they have z in common, whereas to me they're completely unrelated in any positive way. I can see his train of thought but it's very difficult buying for someone else, let alone after 6 months. I think you should have given him a break to be honest.

Original poster
Annelind · 26/12/2017 22:50

He has a teenage daughter, she likes crystal jewellery. I guess he was going by her tastes in jewellery as he bought something for her there too.

OP posts: