Lost my family

[Lilsquish]

Not really sure why im writing this. Just feeling so down right now.
A brief overview...

Im married with a young baby. Last year my sister had her baby son (7 weeks old) removed by ss due to him having broken ribs. Sister and her husband took him to hospital as he was constantly unsettled and crying. The broken ribs were discovered via xray and it transpired that it had occurred on two seperate occasions.

Police and ss got involved. Both sis and bil deny doing it or knowing how it happened. Police couldnt find enough evidence to charge anyone so it was left in the hands of ss.

Since the injuries were discovered my nephew has been living with my parents and my sis and bil get supervised access.
6 months after this all kicked off i gave birth to my daughter. Initially my OH and I were trying to be supportive to sis and parents and the whole topic of how this happened was a massive elephant in the room.
But this just couldnt go on.

Due to various reasons my OH and i believe it was my bil (my parents also suspect this). As such OH and i decided that we didnt want him around our baby. My OH then however decided that my sis knows her OH harmed their son and is just covering for him as she doesnt want a failed marriage (i should add at this point that absolutely no one in my family/friends know about this - it has been kept secret to protect my sis and the lies etc that have been told is unreal)

So now my problem. Since iv told my parents and sis that she is not allowed to see my daughter, they have cut me out their life.

Im completely heartbroken and feek so helpless and lost.

My OH hates my sister and now barely tolerates my parents and my sister and parents hate my OH. My choice was between having a relationshiop with my OH or with my family. Iv obv chosen my OH but i feel so alone and sad about it at the same time.

Theres so much more to this but id literally be typing all day.

Guess im just looking for a hand hold......

You are right spade.

He isnt controlling in any way, we've been together for 16 years and overall have a very strong marriage.

In no way does he want this for me or our family and is so upset and angry at how they have/are behaving.

Feeling a bit down today.

Wednesdays and thursdays are my mums days off work and id normally visit and we'd have lunch or go shopping

:-(

It’s OK to feel sad.

Must feel a bit like another bereavement.

Maybe drop your Aunt and Uncle in Canada a short email just to say it's snowing here and have they recovered their jet lag. Just nice to know they are there.

Iv not got their email address unfortunately.

They have mine but iv not heard anything from them yet.

I do have their mob number so might see if i can add them on whatsapp. But its a foreign number??

If you know they're on whatsapp then definitely add them. The fact that it's a foreign number won't make any difference! It's still free to use etc.

Thanks palm x

Hi lils I’ve just found your posts, so sorry you are going through this.
I have a similar story of cutting out my family to protect my children.
When pregnant with my first I reported my step dad for sexual abuse as a child, my entire family denied it, even my sister who he done it to too!
I was 21, pregnant with my first, a girl, and felt I needed to report him to protect my child.
Anyway my whole family lied and nothing happened, Like yours, my DH was adamant that our child was to have nothing to do with them.

Here I am 10 years later, had 4 children and NC with my entire family, I still miss my sister from time to time, I never had my mum to talk to about my kids, new things they were doing or for any advice. It is still hard sometimes but mostly I am angry that they discarded me like that. Like I meant nothing to them. They also blame my DH and badmouth him whenever they can.

Most of the time they don’t enter my head, it has been 10 years, it’s just every now and then.

Give yourself time is all I can advise, sorry

Sorry to hear you are having a down day, it's only natural
Is it worth organising a regular thing to do on those days, walk and cafe/group with your dc, or something similar to distract you?

Aw mel thats awful. Sorry to hear you have had a terrible experience and then to have your family disown you?? Madness.

Thank you for sharing your experience with me x

Yeah Onestep, i try to fill my days with seeing friends and doing diy etc.

Im off on annual leave just now so i think im feeling it more than usual just now.

I have a few nights in spain booked with some girlfriends so i have that to look forward to too.

Definetly the best thing to do, fill your time.

I had four children to fill mine but don’t think I would advise that😀

Iv only one, she is a wee gem! If i could guarantee to have 4 like her then id be well up for it :-D