My fiance been lying to me about watching porn

[Evelyn29]

So i have just found out my bf has lied to me over watching porn. I'm kind of upset and confused as to why he watches it? We have a healthy sex life. Although latley he has wanted to try new things in the bedroom..im thinking he's getting ideas from the porn? Also it makes me feel self conscience about myself. I'm a slim girl size 8 blonde hair I wear sexy lingerie for him all the time I send sexy photos and videos when he is on work to keep it spicy. So am i not enough? I just don't understand why he watches it? Id undertand if we never had sex but we do everyday. Am I right to be upset or is this normal for men to do? confused

We don't need to eat meat - we just don't. I can't justify eating factory farmed meat so I don't. 30 years ago it was really hard to source organic or high welfare meat. Consumer demand has made welfare standards more ( not enough) of an issue. I can eat meat again. Brilliant.

Ethical porn is still niche. As more women consume porn it is becoming more common due to the demand. So assuming a woman enjoys porn but dislikes the abuse common in the industry sourcing and using ethical porn is a good option.

It is not all or nothing. Porn is not about always about surgically enhanced women being abused. The arguments are framed as all or nothing. Black or white. Right and wrong. As usual there is a spectrum with truth on both sides. Attempts to polarise the issue help no one.

yetmorecrap I was thinking the exact same thing today! My mum and I walked past an old theatre and she said "shame- that place used to be so nice then they used it to show sleazy x-rated films". It's been closed for years so she would have been referring to the 70s/80s.

This got me thinking, that as opposed to porn becoming 'normalised' to our generation, is it perhaps that the way it used to be accessed was so much more sleazy?

My mum remembers this dirty old theatre where sleazy men would go in their long coats so no one could see what they were doing while watching the film... whereas nowadays porn has become a huge industry where the larger companies have to adhere to a strict moral code and certain stars produce and direct their own material. It is more tasteful and caters for younger people, women and couples as opposed to dirty old men!

I now have to make this next point VERY clear: I do not use porn but I HAVE seen porn in the past. I have not seen anything with multiple participants (like a 'gang Bang' someone said earlier) I have not seen anything violent. I have not seen any BDSM. I have not seen anything with assault/aggression. I WOULD find this offensive. I am referring to relatively 'vanilla' pornographic material where no participant is harmed.

Maybe our age group (I'm mid 20s) are just more accepting of the fact that porn exists because it isn't the sleazy smutt that used to be around! I'm not saying that I am right here... I'm putting it forward as an idea I was considering earlier after my mum saw the theatre.

That's kind of like getting upset if you find him reading a romance novel (i mean like pride and prejudice not smut) and questioning whether the romance/affection you provide is not good enough. The lorn watching really isn't about you, it's about him. It's upset you so I really think that you need to have a proper talk with him about it.