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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Two months dating - what to expect for Birthday?

121 replies

teaandcakeat8 · 27/11/2017 14:38

Just that - I’ve been seeing a guy for a couple of months pretty regularly - at least twice a week. We haven’t talked about being exclusive but I’m fairly confident he isn’t seeing anyone else.

It’s my birthday tomorrow. I’m seeing friends for it in the evening but am seeing him tonight. He doesn’t seem too concerned - says he has no plans made but we can go out or he will cook - should I be expecting more effort at this stage?

I’ll be staying at his so will see him in the morning eg my actual birthday.

OP posts:
teaandcakeat8 · 27/11/2017 15:56

He’s not tight at all - but I suppose I’m using this as a guide to his level of interest in something long-term... have just been told to head over to his house this evening.

OP posts:
GeekyWombat · 27/11/2017 15:59

One thing I’d say is don’t put too much store on the card if he does a gift or something else - I know lots of people (including my DH) who wouldn’t do a card but would do a token gift / paying for dinner etc.

If he didn’t do anything I’d definitely think he wasn’t as into me as I was to him (but then I bought a little gift to our first date without really thinking through the ramifications - I suck at this stuff!)

Crunchymum · 27/11/2017 16:04

We were about 4 months in when it was DP's birthday. He got a mug.

Sadly handle snapped recently, but mug was a decade old by then Grin

Moanyoldcow · 27/11/2017 16:10

I'd agree about the card - my DH hates them. He once opened a card from me, read it, thanked me and put it in the bin! I was quite upset but he just doesn't value them. He was very apologetic and I now find it funny and we don't 'do' cards anymore Grin

Cockmagic · 27/11/2017 16:23

I think it depends. A few years ago I was dating dp for about 3 months when it was my birthday. I didn't expect anything.

He surprised me with a xbox 360 (love gaming) and a lovely meal out 😊

Were now an official item 2 years later.

So you never know op!

sonjadog · 27/11/2017 16:27

I would expect something. Nothing too big, just a book or something like that. I would be disappointed if he made no effort at all.

Trills · 27/11/2017 16:43

I definitely agree about not putting too much store in a card if you are getting otherwise treated well.

category12 · 27/11/2017 17:10

Poo, I'd expect him to take me out or something. Maybe not a gift or card, but buy dinner - if not in the dating stage, when?

Ellisandra · 27/11/2017 17:37

I'd be less bothered about a birthday card and more bothered about knowing if he was committed to only dating me.

Why even ask until you know what he has done?

user1493413286 · 27/11/2017 17:39

I would expect some kind of acknowledgement whether it’s a card, chocolates or a meal out.

Hotpinkangel19 · 27/11/2017 17:51

A card and maybe flowers/chocolates.... 2 months isn't long at all OP.

YellowMakesMeSmile · 27/11/2017 17:54

A card and maybe a bunch of flowers given the relatively short dating period.

It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me if he didn't do anything at this stage of the relationship but I'm interested in the person and their beliefs/morals and not their wallet.

userxx · 27/11/2017 18:00

It would be nice to be taken out for dinner....... Somewhere expensive.

AlonsosLeftPinky · 27/11/2017 18:01

Everyone's different.

I wouldn't like anything more than a little gesture so early into dating someone, it'd make me feel quite pressured.

Tearsoffrustration · 27/11/2017 18:01

It was my bday 2 months after me and my BF started going out and he got me a nice silver necklace & a bottle of my favourite wine and my favourite chocolates- been together 3 years and just bought a house together Smile

Redtartanshoes · 27/11/2017 18:04

Dinner. Flowers. Nice ones though.

overnightangel · 27/11/2017 18:08

Shameless placemark to see what he buys 👀....

Chippyway · 27/11/2017 18:10

I’d expect something. Obviously nothing over the top but to me if he didn’t make the effort now, it wouldn’t set me up with much confidence for in the future...

cakecakecheese · 27/11/2017 18:19

I got a nice dinner and a handbag after a fortnight but I really didn't expect anything.

Happy birthday for tomorrow! I think as long as he acknowledges it in some way then that's fine. Has he mentioned anything about seeing you over Christmas as that might be more of an indicator about where he thinks things are going?

C0untDucku1a · 27/11/2017 18:22

Card amd flowers. It is early days, but youre also sleeping together, so not that early!

MyBrilliantDisguise · 27/11/2017 18:24

Just a warning - this is the sort of thing that the DM loves and if you say what he does tonight (much as I'd love to know!) there's a good chance it'll be in the papers tomorrow.

Although they might be too full of Harry tomorrow...

MollyHuaCha · 27/11/2017 18:25

A huge bunch of flowers and a quality card would make me happy.

bluesu · 27/11/2017 18:37

I’m also a princess and 100% I would expect something. Flowers, perfume, kindle!

user071017 · 27/11/2017 19:34

Is it a big birthday? 30th yes, 31st less so.

mindutopia · 27/11/2017 20:10

I would expect dinner and a card or flowers when you do see him. If you aren't spending your birthday with him, it might come across though that you actually don't want to celebrate with him (as you're spending it with his friends). So he might be unsure how serious things are and if you really want him to make a big deal out of it since you've already made plans to celebrate (and not with him). But dinner and a card would be nice, flowers would be a bonus.