Two months dating - what to expect for Birthday?

[teaandcakeat8]

Just that - I’ve been seeing a guy for a couple of months pretty regularly - at least twice a week. We haven’t talked about being exclusive but I’m fairly confident he isn’t seeing anyone else.

It’s my birthday tomorrow. I’m seeing friends for it in the evening but am seeing him tonight. He doesn’t seem too concerned - says he has no plans made but we can go out or he will cook - should I be expecting more effort at this stage?

I’ll be staying at his so will see him in the morning eg my actual birthday.

In fairness, it depends what he cooked :D Fishfinger sandwiches might not go so well with champagne.

he does something absolutely lovely in cooking for you

Dear god. Thats how we end up with so many threads about lazy entitled husbands who dont lift a finger. Cooking is considered absolutely lovely if done by a man!!?!

@countduckula nice try in twisting my words to suit your agenda.
My DP was thrilled I cooked on his birthday Coz it’s not something I’d normally do.
Works both ways

Hang on. Did he or didn't he know when your birthday is? I don't know how you can hint something like that.

If he didn't know then fair play to him, if he forgot then not so good.

Why do so many people equate " setting the bar high" or "having high standards" with the amount of money spent on gifts, rather than on more important things like how he speaks to you, how reliable he is, how he behaves in an every day context, how he talks about women in general?

Plenty of absolutely horrible, unfaithful, unreliable, controlling, misogynistic, user men give their wives or girlfriends (or both at the same time) expensive presents and make big romantic cash splashing gestures a couple of days a year and after they've done something they should be ashamed of whilst behaving like arses the rest of the time...

I have told him the day previously but have had pretty drawn out celebrations involving different friend groups/family so I can understand if he wasn't clear on the actual day.

He is taking me out this evening.

I'm not sure how any of this makes me a gold digger however; I'm not bothered about an expensive gift? More the thought.

It sounds like it has all sorted itself out then.

overnight no agenda here. Merely pointing out cooking a meal for someone on their birthday isnt ‘absolutely lovely behaviour.’ Eating is a basic need. Cooking needs to be done every day. He needed to eat too.

Did he do anything just for your benefit op?

my daughter is 21 on Sunday her bf of two weeks been dating five weeks has bought her at least one lovely present i know of and i think he has booked a meal for her :) think he could be a keeper haha oh and he has already also been shopping for xmas bits for her and treated her to a gift the other day just because...

Way to make the OP feel better, orangetriangle.

And your daughter (nevermind you), wouldn't know if he's a keeper after two weeks. You seem to set an awful lot of store in what he BUYS for her. That is no kind of measure actually.

And what has your daughter bought for him in this time, @orangetriangle ?

I'm sure she's not a gold digger, right?

Orangetriangle when I was 21 my boyfriend of 1 month bought me all sorts of expensive gifts. Unfortunately he also turned out to be an abusive, manipulative, controlling arsehole.

Not saying this is the case but as I have stated throughout the thread I know that spending money does not equate to a better or long lasting relationship!

I was more concerned with how much effort or thought was put in.

teaandcake, that's so very true.

Anyway, back to your boyfriend, he was doing something for you today wasn't he? How did that go?

He took me for dinner and bought me a bottle of wine from the year I was born, which was thoughtful.

That is lovely, vintage wine isn't cheap. Plus he remembered the year you were born and its not just something you nip into Sainsbury's for. I would say that was a lovely gift :)

I do too, pudding, it's thoughtful without being flashy/insincere.

teaandcake
she has had one of those sadly sorry you had to experience this the guy in question love bombed her and emotionally and physcologically abused her
the new guy in question seems absolutely nothing like this and actually does many thoughtful and caring things which have nothing to do with money
early days but we shall see...

teaandcake
i think that what you expeeienced was love bombing and is a classic sign of emotional abusers.
To add this is not what my daughters new boyfriend is doing whatsoever
However an ex boyfriend sadly did exactly that so she def knows the difference

Ellisandra
My daughter is not a gold digger far from it. It just happens to be her 21st Birthday.

She went out with a guy in the past who didnt have to happennies to rub together
The best present she would say anyone could give her was their time so u are so wrong its untrue

Weird to have sex with someone and not say happy birthday to them. So yes, I'd expect something. I'd expect sex. And 'happy birthday'. And some gesture of a present - a lot of guys aren't good at cards, but are better at presents - so I'd expect some token gift, and definitely having dinner (which, to be fair, he's already offered).

But most of all, I'd hope for the right look in his eyes when he says 'happy birthday'. The rest wouldn't matter to me if that was right.

Sorry just read what happened - that's very nice. I think he did well.