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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Have you had a midlife crisis?

249 replies

Mylaststraw · 25/11/2017 15:15

I'm in the right age range for it, never imagined that kind of thing would happen to me, but following events about a year back I've realised that life wasn't quite what I thought, relationship wise, for quite some time. Career is in the pan, not sure I can rely on dh being a team in the future, I feel like the past 20 years have been a mistake, regret things and wish I'd made different decisions - classic stuff. Working on it, but... Well, it's hard to move forward with life/shit still happening...
Is it just a stage ppl go through? Have you pulled through the classic midlife crisis and realised it was just a stage of doubt? Or did you bail and regret it? Or even come out the other side better for it? How??
I feel like I'm slowly edging towards a big change, not sure what but I seem to be taking one step forward and two back with life progression atm.

OP posts:
Njordsgrrrl · 28/11/2017 10:36

This is a real long shot but animals? I wouldn't say that's "usual" I think that's a skill. Lots of people can't or won't get them. Where I stay in Scotland there's a lady in her seventies raising sheep for wool and lives in a tiny hut. I look at her across the way and think, hmm, doing it right....

Leilaniii · 28/11/2017 10:37

Dog walking business? Online store selling art prints?

Njordsgrrrl · 28/11/2017 10:38

Ffs. Forgot to mention Scotland is really progressive these days in terms of grants to crofters and anyone prepared to work the land.

mogratpineapple · 28/11/2017 10:39

@mylaststraw I read 'The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem' and treat it like the Bible. I call out any dismissive or belittling comments, will stop engaging if he looks at the tv, his phone or passers by, will walk out of an event if he eyes up any women. I feel as if I am in control of me and won't stay in an environment that makes me feel shit. For so many years I was just bobbling along with the tide - now I have control (work in progress haha)

Frugalfrump · 28/11/2017 10:44

Thanks for the suggestions.
I like the idea of living in a tiny hut and being self sufficient.Perhaps all of us who feel like we are going nowhere could try that for a year and wait for revealations

Njordsgrrrl · 28/11/2017 10:51

Or we could runoff with aMogratpineapple which is what I, thinking...I I might be doing just that frugal. I'll let you know. That said, I'd quite like to run off with Pieapple, she sounds badass 😎

Njordsgrrrl · 28/11/2017 10:52

Oh ffs the app is misbehaving terribly!

flynn80 · 28/11/2017 10:53

Frugal - some days that sounds like bliss, living alone and being self sufficient, other days - like today for example. I feel so desperately lonely and can't stop crying. I work from home and yes it does have its positive points but for my mental health alone the negatives far outweigh them.

I'd suggest trying volunteering to begin with, look for an area your interested in there's a site called give time I think (quick search will bring up similar), where you can see all the local projets needing vols.

I don't know what's going to happen with dp. I'm trying to focus on me right now and a part time job is up there on my list of things to focus on. For my own sanity and to have people to talk to all day long. As it is I drop ds off at school, come home and don't speak to a soul all day. Once he's back home dp will come in and sit on his phone. And I usually go to bed to avoid him. That's pretty much my life. Sad as it is to read that back. Never thought I'd end up like this!

Frugalfrump · 28/11/2017 11:00

Sorry to hear about your loneliness Flynn.I am the same very alone.
I do quite a lot of voluntary work but it is not fulfilling at the moment for various reasons.I think I need a part time job too.Good luck with finding one you like.

JustWonderingZ · 28/11/2017 11:03

Yes, you suddenly realise you don’t want to carry on as before, and you do need appreciation and adoration at almost 40 as much as you needed it at 25. If husbands actually knew this and continued to show it, there would be a lot less pull for the woman to look for the feeling of aliveness elsewhere. But I think with a long-term relationship the feeling of complacency sets in sooner or later. It is overturning that ‘comfy’ and boring feel and re-inventing your relationship. As there WAS a reason you got together and stayed together for so long. I agree with Esther Perel who said that people will typically have 3-4 significant relationships during their lifetime, and some of those relationships will be with the same person. Absolutely, this is so true. Re-assess, re-negotiate and create something new together which is true to who you are now, not who you were 20 years ago. I am with the poster who changed her boundaries in her existing LTR and re-negotiated what her marriage was for her. She may still choose to be with the same man at the end of the day, but to have a different life with that same man. The life which is fulfilling for her, too.

The more I look at affairs, the clearer it becomes they are not the answer. The affair partner is looking for the feeling of aliveness, being appreciated and adored, living life to the full. There is no imperative it has to be a new man to feel like that. Surely, you felt like that once with your H, there is no reason why you can’t do so again 20 years later. He might not realise this is what you want, but this is what relationships are about: a two-way street. Communicate your desires and give him a chance to repair it, to put it right. I am convinced many betrayed spouses would love to have been given the opportunity to work on their marriage before their partner goes down the unfaithfulness route. But it takes emotional intelligence and will on both sides. If one partner isn’t interested in improving the other’s well-being and adopts a ‘can’t do, won’t do’ attitude, and the other one just thinks I can’t be bothered with all that effort when the excitement of a fling is there ready for me and doesn’t require painful re-negotiations. It may seem an easy route to take. Until of course, your marriage and life crumbles down as a direct consequence.

There are so so so many people on here and on surviving infidelity forum who wish they had given their partner and marriage a chance, before going down the affair route and blowing the whole thing up. But it seems it is something which can sadly be realised postfactum mainly when the regrettable stuff cannot be undone.

This is in no way a criticism, by the way. People hardly ever have perfect relationships and perfect partners. I can see both sides of the story. It is worth to remember that a lot of affairs are not to find a different person, but to find a different you. The other person is often incidental. It really helps to have this self-awareness, for me certainly.

buggerthebotox · 28/11/2017 11:11

Yup. I realised that, in my mid-40s and with a very young child, that I was unable to look forward. I couldn't see a future, only a rose-tinted past.

I seem to have had a nice, interesting life until then. Suddenly everything went tits up.

I lost my mother and two remaining aunties. I had two casual jobs and lost them both. My career had gone due to caring responsibilities. My relationship was in tatters. I didn't have the headspace to contemplate getting back to work. I became envious of others who had support from family. I became bitter and twisted, lonely and unappreciated.

Always low on self-esteem, I withdrew into myself. I lost confidence in myself and other people. I still have very little faith in others.

However, after a bit of a struggle I've made some new friends, I've taken piano exams and I feel my life is slowly getting back on track. I still don't have a decent job, and I'm beginning to think my life will never be meaningful again. Once dd leaves, I'll be alone, and probably broke.

I wish I could see a way out, but I'm not hopeful.

I'm 58Sad.

Mylaststraw · 28/11/2017 11:31

As it is I drop ds off at school, come home and don't speak to a soul all day

This is me also, unless I go out to the shop. I've turned into one of those old ppl who has lengthy conversations with cashiers.

Thx mograt, I've had a look on Amazon and I think I'll order it.

frugal I've also been down the volunteer route and found it not as satisfying as expected. I was either doing v mundane, not v useful stuff, or things I thought they should be paying ppl to do! (in completely different roles)

Just thought provoking post. I can't see myself running off and having an affair (I know how much it hurts if your dp cheats), and can see the sense in creating a new relationship with dh. I'm not sure how this would work in practice though. How do you get out of the everyday life you've been living for years and make it a new, more interesting thing? It's a bit 'Meet me at the bar, I'll be wearing a blonde wig... ' in my head. Confused

OP posts:
Mylaststraw · 28/11/2017 11:33

bugger Sad Flowers
Sounds like you're moving in the right direction.

OP posts:
JustWonderingZ · 28/11/2017 11:40

Flynn, it doesn’t sound good... you need to find a way to bring him out (or jolt him out!!) of his phone and into the relationship. Unfortunately, the process of drifting apart is happening and it’s only going to go one way if left unchecked. I am not surprised you are feeling the way you do. Your needs for affection and companionship aren’t being met, but you aren’t free to go which makes it ten times worse.

‘Ram it home’ to him. Spell it out in simple terms exactly what is going on, how it makes you feel, where it is likely to go and what both of you are likely to end up with. Be honest. Be straightforward. Then you have given him the chance to fix it. This may take several painful conversations. It is up to him whether he wants to use that chance. He can’t claim then he was not aware of the scale of the issue. If he doesn’t care if your partnership continues on its road to demise, that’s the choice he is making. All is fair then.

flynn80 · 28/11/2017 12:38

thankyou just. what hit home was a rare night out we had together a few weeks ago, he wanted to go to the trendy hipster bars, and I would have been more at home at a wetherspoons having a laugh. we had nothing to say to each other at all. I told him that night that i felt we had gone in different directions, and he didn't disagree.

on walking home he actually said to me, "if it does come to it and we split up then we can both be so proud of our ds". this came out of nowhere, almost as if hes been thinking it too. Sad

I have an appointment at the drs today because I think feeling this way is kicking off my depression again. I just really dont want to be here anymore. I want to stop feeling this way but I feel so trapped. I wish I could go back to my younger self and tell her not to leave her job, to stay in it and look after number 1 instead of caring for everyone else. I gave up my job at the time to become a carer for my nan and since she died 2 years ago ive struggled daily. I dont find joy in anything anymore.

Sorry I dont mean to ramble on and take over.

Mylaststraw · 28/11/2017 12:42

flynn ramble away as much as you like, if it helps. Flowers

OP posts:
theresheg0es · 28/11/2017 13:32

My last straw
Communicate your desires and give him a chance to repair it, to put it right. I am convinced many betrayed spouses would love to have been given the opportunity to work on their marriage before their partner goes down the unfaithfulness route. But it takes emotional intelligence and will on both sides. If one partner isn’t interested in improving the other’s well-being and adopts a ‘can’t do, won’t do’ attitude, and the other one just thinks I can’t be bothered with all that effort when the excitement of a fling is there ready for me and doesn’t require painful re-negotiations. It may seem an easy route to take.

But as I and other posters have said, we are already the ones making all of the effort in the relationship - spinning all the plates, explicitly stating when we need something else we don't get it at all (be it physical affection, emotional support, practical help or whatever). The suggestion I need to put in even more work banging my head against that wall when it's doing fuck all for me is frankly an insult. I am tired of being the one that fixes/helps and holds everything together. If my DH can't see that then I refuse to feel sorry about it and I refuse to accept responsibility for it.

I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion (having lost my dear friend a few days ago) that life is too fucking short to be wasting it on making sure everyone else is ok.

theresheg0es · 28/11/2017 13:33

sorry that quote was from JustWondering not mylaststraw* Flowers

JustWonderingZ · 28/11/2017 14:09

Thereshegoes, it’s not what I said though. I didn’t encourage the woman in a dissatisfying situation to just plod on and make continual unreciprocated effort to make the relationship work.

What I did say was the other partner has often grown complacent and too comfy while busy dealing with life’s stuff, that they are not fully aware how the OH feels. They may not know that the other partner has grown so apart they are thinking of walking away or start looking for that intimacy elsewhere. I know my DH in his mind and heart loved me and he was shocked that I thought he didn’t see me anymore. He did, he just did not think he needed to spell it out and purposefully make an effort to make me feel adored. He thought I knew that anyway.

It did take quite a few go’s of explaining this to him and a lot of soul searching on my part. During the talking it transpired that H noticed there was something not quite right, but he couldn’t think why I would be upset so sort of discounted it. It takes both partners to make an effort, not just the woman.

From what I have read, it is one of people’s biggest regrets post affair not having tried harder with their long-term partner and not putting effort in fixing the marriage before checking out.

To rule the miscommunication kind of situation out, yes, it does make good sense to talk and be direct and honest.

I deeply believe that it takes two to make a LTR work. If you have given him a fair chance and he wouldn’t, then you know your answer.

Please do not misconstrue my point.

JustWonderingZ · 28/11/2017 14:46

Flynn, I think it is a good time to have a frank heart-to-heart conversation. Ideally, we shouldn’t wait till times of crisis to have this sort of conversations, but life’s stuff gets in the way etc. What your partner said tells me he has been going through a version of what you have been going through. He has realised something isn’t working somewhere. Now the crucial point, does he want to put it right and put in the effort required? Do you? Is either of you prepared to do things to make your partner happy, make a conscious effort to do so? Do things for them which may not be the natural thing for you, like hugging or having long conversations where your partner can talk about anything and everything? Different things make people feel connected, and they are rarely the same for both partners.

It was clear to me my H wanted to put it right and make that effort. I did, because I had a lot to throw away: we have three children, steady respectful relationship, a home we have built together, we get on on so many levels. There was a reason I picked him and that reason was still there.

Relationships can absolutely be revitalised and improved always, but only if both partners want it.

There is a poster on MN, certificateofauthenticity, a bloke. His posts really struck a chord with me. He described how he turned his relationship with his wife around. She was actually having an emotional affair. Neither of them wanted to give up on their marriage and they both made an effort to make it work, successfully.

Talking about his own experience, he made insightful and really good points. It helped me a lot, especially the male perspective on it all. Good luck with whatever you decide Flowers

MoreProseccoNow · 28/11/2017 15:16

I think it's great if both parties want to work at things & the couple are both able to appreciate that they are both fundamentally good people, who have perhaps lost their way a bit.

It's so much more difficult when there's a realisation that your partner is not - that they are perhaps selfish, unkind & don't take your needs on board.

And leaving with young children, the cost of living, Health etc makes it even harder.

So those saying "just leave": it's really not that simple.

Sometimes staying until you get your ducks lined up is the best option. That's what I'm doing - making the most of a crap situation until I can put plans in place.

I can completely understand why people stay in unhappy or mediocre relationships/ sometimes it's the least worst option, sadly.

MoreProseccoNow · 28/11/2017 15:16

Ps Thanks for Flynn, hope you get in ok at the Dr's

flynn80 · 28/11/2017 16:07

Thankyou morethan & just. You've both said very sensible things which I'm taking on board right now.

I saw the nurse who told me rather bluntly I'd need to see a Dr so I'm going back in a little while. Wasted a few hours today waiting to be seen there!

As you said morethan getting everything in order is sometimes the best plan so that's what I intend to do. See my Dr about going back on meds. And tonight I'll have it out with him.

GeriT · 28/11/2017 16:10

I feel my STBXH is having a mid life crisis.

He has thrown everything away to live in a fantasy land.

I tell you what I hate the most - that people tell me he will regret it.

BackInTheRoom · 28/11/2017 16:56

See I don't think they regret it. My STBXH ran away one day, literally one afternoon out of the blue, 20 years flushed down the pan and now has his place with his younger OW, no kids to run around after. People say to me 'he'll regret it one day' but why would they? They're FREE! Free from all the stress of a family, no bickering or arguing or school runs (not that he ever did them) or the hum-drum of life. He's in his elements being adored by a younger more firmer woman who has never had to bear two children. People only say what they say to make you feel a bit better. 😕