Yes, of course.
And it's a healthy thing, I think. Question everything. Make sure you're happy with your path. Change what you have to and understand that it's a positive thing, a strong thing to do.
Use the energy to change things. Don't be afraid of literally throwing out what isn't good in your life. You know instinctively what feels wrong and negative.
I found that when I started thinking like this, a different type of man starting looking at me in the street. I didn't act on anything, but I felt empowered by it. We as women in our forties have a very big challenge to deal with - the changing of our fertility. For some it's fine, they aren't bothered - they have the children they want, it isn't much of an issue. For others it's a horrific reality. But all of us have to work it out somehow.
I mention that because it's a process which shows us very clearly the inevitability of our physical limitations. On some level, it shows us that as surely as each of us will one day no longer be able to reproduce, also one day we will not be here anymore. That is a massive kick up the backside - at first it panics us, and then it pushes us into this phase of questioning all we do, and wanting things that perhaps had been our dreams or visions of ourselves when we first because adults, in our teens, and we feel the need now to make sure we are ... ourselves.
When we are stripped of what we had just got really comfortable with - our physical selves as fertile adult women - we then know we will be left with what we had to start with, even back to our early teens: ourselves before periods and contraception and the rollercoaster of monthly hormonal changes. We will need the essence of ourselves, and to remember who we are.
I know as I write this that of course there is a huge scale here - there are women who've dealt with this change earlier in life, or who have had fertility issues, or who haven't been bothered about it for one reason or another. But I think that in women, the 'mid life crisis' is much intensified because of this additional challenge.
A lot of women question whether their partner is right for them. Because they feel they are moving into a phase which will be cruising until the end, and they don't want to be cruising with the wrong person, or in a way that is depressing/unfulfilling. The same goes for career, really.
I have always been someone who takes comfort from everything being the same and not changing, but I've had to face up to the fact over the past 3 years or so that things do go in eras. In our 40s, it feels like the coming to an end of a massive era. And so it is, really. But actually the philosophy of not being attached to physical things, of understanding that nothing is permanent, of being free to live each moment as happily as you can arrange for yourself, is very life-enhancing. Tbh it's pretty much the only way to go.
My wake-up call was also several people who I had never imagined would die just actually dropping dead within a matter of days. Ages ranging from 23 to 59. This has been the final thing to really push me into understanding that there is no time for fxxking around with things or people that aren't good for you.
What was good for you at 30 is not necessarily what is good for you at, e.g., 45.
I know part of your question is whether this drive to question and change should be heeded, or whether it's just some kind of madness and if you ride it out, all will settle and you'll be happy again in your current relationship/job/home/etc.
I think only you can make that judgement, but I would say just look around at the stories who have made drastic, and positive, life changes in their 40s. Of course there's also all the men who've left their families and then ended up either happier or unhappier with their new 22-year-old wives. ... Whether you will be happier to change or not is up to you to find out.
My single most important lesson has been that it's essential to take control of your life. And I would start with just sitting cross legged on the floor and looking at your hands and flexing them up and down and really feeling in control of your body. And delighted with it.
Our bodies are are homes. If we've got into our 40s and are still here then we should start by loving who we are and the body that we are in. Start with that, and you'll get a very quick response from your own body. And it will tell you what is good to be around, and what not.
I'm sorry - I probably sound like an idiot.! : ( Just sharing a few of my reflections, as a result of my own experiences. I hope some of it helps.