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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

An update on my 'To top off my crap year...' thread

999 replies

October · 17/04/2007 14:40

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October · 21/04/2007 09:40

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Fubsychicksnbunnies · 21/04/2007 17:01

at 7 weeks! How many couples have given up by the time they get their "proper" session I wonder?

Glad you had a good time at the quiz. maybe time with female friends is what you need to take your mind off the men?

October · 22/04/2007 09:33

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Tanee58 · 23/04/2007 14:23

Hi October and everyone else - just caught up after the weekend and so very sorry you've had such a wretched week over 'G' - he's not worth it, but I can see how he can occupy your thoughts when things ended without proper answers (though I think the answer is probably that his ego was bruised when you said no, and is nothing to do with you being unattractive). I agree with IOHW - you do need to concentrate on what will make YOU feel good about yourself. It's a cliche - but a true one, I've found, that people like us when we like ourselves. G made you feel good, but you can do that for yourself. Start aiming for that size 8 (I'd be happy to be just a 12, me, but can't give up the cheese! ). Actually, I managed to lose a bit of weight - about a stone - a few years ago when my marriage was getting me down and I needed a boost, by cutting down on the carbs (not as extreme as the Atkins diet, broadly along those lines but healthier). I've heard that just cutting out carbs after 6pm can help, and you don't have to give up a glass of wine with dinner . Anyway, even if you lose just a dress size, it will be such a boost to your ego - and a great chance to go shop!

I'm glad to hear that dh is being so responsive (never mind the loss of an early night due to playing with the new toy - think of me - I've been a cricket widow ever since this never-ending world cup started, and I'm dreading the snooker ... ). He obviously does love you, and you obviously want to give it a go - just need to get 'g' out of your head. Good luck, and lots of positive low carb thoughts coming your way ...

October · 23/04/2007 18:21

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Ifonlyhewould · 24/04/2007 09:57

Not pathetic October. Not pathetic at all. Just a tad insecure just like the majority of us.

I became ill in 2005 and I had to take so much medication I rattled! I gained 2 stone in 3 weeks!! Then went on to gain another stone and a half over a period of 6 months.
I saw a nutritionist, changed my meds for natural ones and followed my diet and the weight all came off so, I weigh less now than what I did before the illness.
You go for it!! Get the AD's changed and start eating healthy. I bet you will feel soooo much better about yourself within a matter of a few weeks.

Things are sounding really positive what with your job and DH accepting your offer of an early night. Keep up the good work

October · 24/04/2007 19:18

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mylittlestar · 24/04/2007 19:20

at that mum - how bloody stupid and inconsiderate! I don't blame you for feeling a bit down. But if she'd been through what you have, then she may have some idea of how well you're coping. And you really are.

Did you see the psychiatrist today? How are things?

Sounds like things with your dh are going well too which is a good sign. Do you feel that things are going well?

Have you managed to organise anything to catch up with your mum friend from school too? I think that make you feel a bit better xx

mylittlestar · 24/04/2007 19:22

x-posts

what do you mean about running away from everything - does your depression make you feel like you just want to give it all up and run away?

October · 24/04/2007 19:25

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mylittlestar · 24/04/2007 19:34

Sounds like you deserve it too!

At least you're taking positive steps forward now. From the strength you show on here I'm sure you'll be fine xx

October · 25/04/2007 09:11

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PeachyChocolateEClair · 25/04/2007 09:15

I know this will sound silly October, but go with it. Grab a piece of apper and write down how you feel, how you want to run away. when I was badly depressed / had an eating disorder (a long time ago now) I did that in my diary, and there was a song out- runaway train- that i couldn't hear without breaking down. Now when i read that diary. I am amazed how my life has improved- better partner (DH), security, achieving ambitions, just happier. The song doesn't even affect any more. I find that really reasssuring, and it lets me know that no matter how bad things get (and they did over the last 12 months when we were officially told ds1 and ds3 were SN) I will always be OK.

October · 25/04/2007 09:18

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Tanee58 · 25/04/2007 12:23

Whinge away - we're listening (Dr Frasier Crane voice . God, that mum in the playground ! My old temp controller did the same thing to me when I took dd in to visit them when she was about 2. She looked at me sweetly and said 'oh, are we going to lose you to another baby soon?' Since my ex-h and I hadn't even had sex since I got pregnant, it was particularly galling! I tried to comfort myself that I was wearing a thick jumper, but it hurt!

Hope the new ADs help and good on you for inviting dh for an early night. I must try that on dp. Since he got depressed his libido has dropped too (and late night cricket doesn't help and after he has his hernia op next week, he'll really be out of commission for weeks - oh well, back to work....

Wish I could go to a 'mums unit' I'd do so much patchwork and gardening.

October · 26/04/2007 17:15

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October · 26/04/2007 18:53

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BlueSkynSunshine · 26/04/2007 19:38

Hi October, don't beat yourself up so much you are doing great. I can relate somewhat to what you're going through as it happened to me years ago when I got a "crush" or whatever you want to call it on someone at work. What it did in the end though was clarify for me that my marriage was actually down the pan and I really had no love or respect for my xh although it took another couple of years until I felt brave enough for divorce to kick in. (There's a lot more to say obviously but I don't want to ramble!)

Have to say that divorce was the hardest thing I have done but also the best(strange I know) but I do think that you really need to think about your marriage and life as you really want it to be in, say, five or ten years. Easy words I appreciate but you need to do this.

Sorry if I am sticking my oar in but I have been lurking for a few months and your posts have really bought back old feelings that I thought were deeply buried. Sending you hugs.

Fubsy · 26/04/2007 19:47

Sending hugs

mummytosteven · 26/04/2007 20:40

October - G probably thinks that you dropped HIM, by not wanting to progress to the legover stage, so partly why he is not being considerate. Given the changeover in meds, accept that the next few weeks are going to be tough, and try and see that the negative thoughts are down to the withdrawals rather than reality.

Peachy - eerie you say that about Runaway Train, that's one of my howling snotting teary mess songs (and has been for about ten years)

mummytosteven · 26/04/2007 20:40

October - G probably thinks that you dropped HIM, by not wanting to progress to the legover stage, so partly why he is not being considerate. Given the changeover in meds, accept that the next few weeks are going to be tough, and try and see that the negative thoughts are down to the withdrawals rather than reality.

Peachy - eerie you say that about Runaway Train, that's one of my howling snotting teary mess songs (and has been for about ten years)

October · 26/04/2007 21:48

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October · 26/04/2007 21:50

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Ifonlyhewould · 27/04/2007 10:45

Hi October

I hope you are feeling brighter today.
Thinking of you XX

October · 27/04/2007 12:25

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