The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Braving The Wine Witch & Her Alcohol Free Autumn

[Mouseface]

Hello

I’m Mouse one of the Brave Babes who ride on this wonderful Bus, called Gerald, along with all the Opal Fruits wrappers and of course Barry The squid.

We all have a wise variety of life experiences and experiences with alcohol too. We’re not admirers of hang overs and we certainly don’t do judgey pants!

We’re here to ride along with you, when life is pants but also when it’s not as well and you my want to celebrate that bit too much!

So find a seat and come take a ride. I’ll link the previous and also the very first link and the reason we’re all here.

*Mouse

Hi to all who are doing well and smacking the wine bitch..
Me not so well, after the initial buzz of AF lots of days it has come to kick me royally in my ass..
Back to one/half bottles of it.. still functioning .. but not really as overwhelming guilt just adds to the volume, it's not like I even taste it you know? It just sinks down to forget..
Tomorrow I will try again .. just an endless cycle of guilt/ normal/guilt/happy/normal /nothing
Kudos to all of you brave ladies who hear me and keep in this bus x

Tis me! Checking in from a cold, windy and wet Scotland. I have the plague again! This time with strep throat and boils everywhere!!!! It's never ending. I can't afford to take any sick days as Himself hasn't worked for five weeks. We are slowly slowly working on our crappy relationship but it's hard work and I don't know if I can be bothered.
Drink wise, we are so skint buying wine is out the window so I've been getting stuck in on the Christmas chocolate.
I've not been to the gym for three months as my hours don't fit around it at the moment and have put back on the weight I lost .
It my birthday on Saturday . My goals since New Year had been be a stone lighter and AF free . I'm gutted and feel a fat, sick mess.
Enough of my pity party . How is everyone? Please excuse not naming everyone. I'm on my mobile and don't want to lose my post if I scroll up. Speaks with bitter previous experience

No alcohol at home since Saturday. Feel good, I did have a glass of wine at lunch with my team on Wednesday so not completely alcohol free but not sure that's where I want to be. I'd like to think I end up with a better relationship with alcohol so I can enjoy the odd drink without compulsively downing glass after glass. It's the drinking at home that's the problem for me.

I have had a few bad years, I lost my mum to cancer, one child had a big operation for an orthopaedic condition I feel guilty for not noticing earlier (looking back on videos the signs were there). My son was diagnosed with a different condition which has lifelong implications for him and has meant several hospital stays, ongoing monitoring and daily injections. I work full time and up to now have supported my dh financially for most of our relationship and I do the majority of the house stuff (cleaning, bills, washing, general mental load shit). The stress and pressure just got to me and the drinking was compulsive. I read a story on Facebook about a mum who had quit drinking and her reasons why and it resonated with me.

hi sofa and mint
babaroll that sounds tough...

The dh financial support thing is about to come to a head when I tell him probably today what an impact it has had on me and that we have some debt as a result which he needs to sort out. That's probably a thread in itself and I have posted on it under another name before. Might need a hand hold this weekend, our whole relationship needs to be redefined if we are to move forward. I've been putting it off but the financial situation can't be left on my shoulders any more.

Hi sofa - how was tomorrow?, mint - sorry you're feeling poorly (passes big snuggly blanket and warm, comforting AF drink of your choice), ma - hope your heating is sorted? - and hello to all other babes and lurkers

Babaroll - that sounds really difficult. Hope you manage to get somewhere with the financial situation. I felt similarly to you a couple of years ago when I was the sole earner - thankfully DH has stepped up in that respct recently - still working on his domestic contributions, mental load etc. I suspect it may be mission impossible a long term project.
Cutting down/out booze seems to cast relationship issues in sharp relief. Good luck this weekend.

I'm doing OK booze-wise. Managed not to drink when meeting former colleagues in the pub last Thursday. Did have a few Friday/Sat, but a very modest amount by previous standards.

If anyone else is a lager lout drinker, I can recommend this stuff from Tesco. Best I've tasted so far.

Morning all. It's a -1 and wonderful sunrise kind of a morning here.

Ma hope you have got your heating sorted? We've had two day's of power cuts here. Turns out our mains cable into the house is full of water. No idea when SP are going to fix it. It has a temporary fix right now and fingers crossed it holds out!
I have my work party tomorrow. I have no idea how I'll get through it. Those girls can drink! I'm thinking of coming down with D+V (to go with the never ending man flu I have) this afternoon to get out of it.
flowersonthepiano Thank you my lovely. I had an early night with a hot water bottle and a cup of tea.
Babaroll here to hand hold.

Good morning beautiful ladies.... just had a very quick catch up and so good to see you all on here, fighting the good fight as it were one hour at a time.

I am struggling with life...my dh...my beautiful boys...the days leading up to the big Christmas hoohaaaa..... stuggljng with getting out to run....struggling with my weight watchers plan.....life! Life! Life!
BUT.... I am for once in my life quite proud of myself for being able to say I am now heading into my 33rd day alcohol free..... the shut still happens it I have got my Big Girl Pants on and facing up to feelings and life without running away from it all ..........

Just want to say I love you all and keep going. Just one hour at a time ladies. Just one hour at a time.

Sending Big Love xxxx
Bee xxxx

well done blessed that's amazing.
Heating now finally sorted and enjoyed the luxury of a hot bath last night...
Next up is to replace the internal doors, fix the kitchen floor and stop the roof leaking...hoping to win the lottery soon.

Ooh! dementedma I known that feeling of the first hot bath after getting heating fixed -it's bliss with bells on isn't it! Enjoy your heat and radiators!

Yes I'm more than pleased with my af days but also getting scared that I know I can't ever have another drink because it would set me back to square one. My mum said to me the other day "but you'll have a drink over Christmas won't you?" I said no.... i know I would go straight back to where I was before. But I don't think she gets that at all. I can Drink (very well) or Not Drink. I can do a bottle but not a glass. I'm learning that this has got to be the new me forever. Not just for a few weeks.
I'm finding the reality of it overwhelming if I'm honest x

forever I'm finding that reality pretty huge too. I can't have the one. It's just goes on for days, each day about to stop them buy wine.

I'm day 42 af I think. All my family drink. I really don't want to at Christmas and it is weighing down. My dh seems to have increased his alcohol intake since I've stopped.

I have planned some reasons to give family. I have some really clear reasons in my own mind as to why one isn't a good move for me.

Good luck. The overwhelming days the one day at a time thing really helps me.

I just want to die

Please help me

Hi MsHooliesCardigan, you probably don't know me - I joined the bus ages ago and then fell into the sidecar so haven't posted for a while - but I'm here.
I'm listening (I don't think that I can do emojis on my phone so here is a /hug).

Hi Hogarthian sorry for being so melodramatic and thanks for replying. This has really not been a good day.i really am going to try and sleep now.
Thank you so much x

MsHoolie, I've got to get to work at 5:30 but until then I'll be here quietly holding your hand. Daylight is on it's way and with it more bus babes xx

Ah a cross post! I'm glad you came back. Go get some rest xx

MsHoolie - I only recently joined MN and I have been reading the crap time you are having.* it's not the alcohol that comes across as your strongest passion but your devotion and determination as a mother. Especially when the father is doing everything to make this role in your life difficult. Please don't give up, you are a mum and someone's world.*
dementedma sorry to not reply from a few days ago, I've had a long talk with my husband. He accepts that his inability to stop after a couple of drinks, and my rubbish willpower at saying no when he's brought it in to the house, is affecting my health (and his although no signs yet). If nothing changes in the new year then we will get help. We are a bad combination when it comes to drinking. I like starting and he can't stop. And then I don't stop because he goes to the shop and plonks more in front of me.
I have just started reading the Jason Vale book following recommendations on here.* Seems to be making a lot of sense so far.*

It's my birthday and tonight is the posh Christmas work party. Today will be tough!!!

mrshoolie are you ok? Are you still in hospital or at your brothers? do't give up, your children need you and love you.

@MsHooliesCardigan if you search my posts under user name wanttodie you might find some identification. I was basically you. I'm 6 years sober now and life is amazing. Keep on in there

Obviously not got the hang of making the right stuff appear in bold!

Thank you everyone, I’m Ok. I am at my parents and it is their golden wedding anniversary today. ‘D’ H is refusing to come and bring the children.
My dad is really ill and probably has less than a year to live. He absolutely adores DH. I really can’t believe he’s being so cruel.
Somewhere in his head, he has convinced himself that what he’s doing is right.
I just need to cut myself off from him. I am going to stop phoning or texting him. I am going to try to imagine that he doesn’t exist.Whenever I think about him, I just feel angry or sad.

Sending strong thoughts to mshoolie You have to do whatever is most likely to help you stay sober. It is so sad that when you've reached this point your dh is not helping you or supporting you. In the meantime take help and comfort from everyone who offers it.

And a big cheery wave to strawberry

Hi all thank you flowers, tomorrow came with no alcohol for another 2 days, a couple of glasses on the 3rd, gave me a big headache ( maybe a guilt one eh)
Went out with friends last night, I had offered to drive so wouldn't drink, other dear friend who is also having some alcohol/wine issues asked if she could as she has done very well this wk and didn't want to spoil her momentum so I agreed, 1 glass of wine for me only, again headache,
I could've drank more , with the benefit of hindsight, should've had none to fully support friend/myself.
Today batting away guilt for having one,however , happy that I just had one if that makes sense?
I hadn't realised how widespread wine drinking in excess has become until I found this supportive bus.
To be honest with myself has become the daily norm for me as has 'one day at a time.