2017 has been shit. DH 's dad died, I lost my amazing sister to cancer, which had spread to her brain. I was with her throughout most of her illness and it was really fucking awful. She died in June.
I found out that since July DH had hooked up with an old friend he hadn't seen for decades, they bumped into each other at a social event. They have been for coffees, a few drinks and they have kissed.
I only found out because I looked at his phone as I sensed something was wrong. And I feel awful for looking at his phone. She is married with children and an assistant head teacher at a local school. Her partner doesn't know. Apparently it didn't go further than a handful of meetings, texts and kissing. But it would have carried on if I hadn't found d out. And to me this feels like he has just stamped on our marriage. He says it was nothing to do with me, he just met her again after 20+ years and these feelings came up.
If feelings like that come up surely you just say " I have strong feeling but I am married with 3 D.C. And I love my wife so best we don't contact each other." Apparently not.
We have 3 DC. If we didn't I would kick him out right now. I love him but I don't know where we go from here.
He is sorry, wants to make it work, etc.
I think we had both become distant from each other. But I thought we were also supporting each other.
I work full time and have a long commute, where as his working hours are more flexible and he does pick ups and drops offs for school as all three kids are in primary. So if I did ask him to leave I'd have to see him every day anyway.
I am just so sad and angry and upset. This has been the most awful year anyway, I didn't think it could get worse and now it has. My parents have both died and I was very close to my sister. One thing that was getting me through her death was the thought of our family, who mean everything to me. But he has broken the trust in our relationship and I don't know what to do.