custody

[marinemike]

i just want a simple answer,Can my ex stop me seeing my child?

Oh dear god this is the most immature load of fuckery I have ever heard in my life, give me strength Did you really end an 18 month relationship, that you had just brought a tiny vulnerable child into, because of sleeping arrangements? On top of the fact you thought it would be okay to take a 2 week old baby away from it's mother for an entire night?

It's an absolute joke, stop moaning on the internet and go and apologise to this woman profusely and tell her you can understand why she was so pissed off at you for being so thoughtless, and prove to her that you actually know and want what is best for this child.

So she asked you to stay over to help with the baby, you said no I'll take the baby to mine because you want time with the baby without your partner and mother of your child around? If that's right then of course she's upset. My ex was exactly the same (if it wasn't for some of the details I'd swear it was him re-hashing what happened with us) and it made me feel like an unpaid surrogate - like he'd just stuck around during the pregnancy so that he could claim his child at the end.

Why would you want time just you and the baby if you were in a relationship with the mother? A few hours maybe, but overnight? You clearly don't view yourselves as a family or this relationship as permanent- and that's probably what that poor woman is thinking as well.

You planned a baby with a 22 yr old after such a short time being together?

Like I said, if you want the right on where your sperm goes you use condoms. Or as you’re finding out you learn a harsh lesson.

You can’t take a baby away from it’s mother so young. This is fact in your case and from the words you’ve typed on here. Instead you’ve upset the apple cart by being reactive rather than processing the information you’re given. Something you should be doing at 44.

Oh and gamer chick there is a think called the coil and injection, maybe You should have thought about that.

"Oh and gamer chick there is a think called the coil and injection, maybe You should have thought about that."

I'm reporting your thread, no way a 44 year old man can be this stupid and immature.

What about them?

Yeah was thinking along the same lines. He’s older than me ffs

Oh and gamer chick there is a think called the coil and injection, maybe You should have thought about that.

I'm not sure what's more embarrassing for you, the fact that you actually thought this was a good comeback or that it took you nearly half an hour and a couple of posts to come up with it. 😂

OP, your ex would not be expected to go to mediation at four weeks postnatal. But it would be reasonable for her to go to mediation in a few weeks time. You should call the mediation service and ask their advice. You will not be allowed to make a court application unless you have been to mediation, and there has to be a good reason why you would be exempt from this ( none applies in this situation as you have described it).

So the best advice is to wait until you can both go to mediation.

If you really cannot reach an agreement with mediation, then you have a right to apply to the family court to order an agreement. But this is a last resort for most sensible people.

The court would never agree to overnights alone with a tiny baby. But the court would think it desirable for the father to have regular, frequent contact which might build up to overnights when it is developmentally appropriate.

But honestly, try to be calmer, gentler and more understanding of your ex, and she may well respond calmly and kindly herself - in the interests of your baby's well being.

I hope it works out.

@marinemike
Look you're really not helping yourself here.
You come across as slightly out of control angry. It is not normal for either mother or father to want to take a child away ALONE unless you were separated, but you weren't.
So it comes across as odd in the extreme.

Imagine if your gf said, when you were living together. I am going to go to my other house to spend some alone time with the baby. Because I don't like sleeping on the sofa? How would that make you feel. You've just brought home your new baby and your dp wants to take them away for a night without you?

So you were in a relationship with the mother when you wanted to take the baby away from her? That's even weirder. And it makes her wanting to spend the night with you normal, not wrong as you were implying. You need to grow up.

My cousin died suddenly when her DD was 8 hours old. Her DH was perfectly capable of caring for the new baby as well as their toddler son. He was an excellent father. So yes, a father can certainly care for a newborn and a newborn can be away from its mother without 'harm'. In Mike's case the baby has been with her mother for the first 4 weeks of its life and I realize that's a bit different nor am I saying that she should just hand the baby over. I don't know enough about either of them to say that. But some posters have implied that a father can never replace a mother in a newborn's life and I believe that this is incorrect.

Mike, you really need to step back, take a deep breath, and calmly & rationally evaluate both your and her actions. I understand that you are upset and that you have a right to be so. But going off half-cocked (even on an anonymous forum) isn't helping you or the situation. If you truly feel that she will not be reasoned with then you need to see a solicitor. Don't threaten her or try to bully or intimidate her with it, just do it. In the meantime you need to leave her alone. If you are able to communicate with her parents, then do so as far as keeping updated with your daughter's progress and ask them to intervene if they are willing.

I've known a situation where a mother used a young baby to control her ex. It wasn't pretty nor was it healthy. I'm not saying it's the situation here, but it does happen.

I'm really not sure that I am fully understanding - but it comes across as a bit strange

But what you appear to be saying

• you have been together for 18 months but never lived together
• after the birth she went to her parent's home for support in the post-natal period
• 2 weeks after the birth you were still together and she invited you to spend the night
• you declined but wanted to take the baby overnight without her (which seems a strange thing to say to a new mother)
• and she ended the relationship and has refused to let you see the child for 2 weeks

I'm really not sure what to make of this as demanding the child overnight sounds incredibly insensitive and demanding at 2 weeks post birth and almost like treating the baby like a toy and the mother as a baby-machine without consideration of their needs -unless there is some huge backstory that you have not revealed

Cherries in the snow see there's a the proof, it's OK for Gamer chico talk to me about using condom, but you can don't Report her, yet minute I say something back, OH LET REPORT THIS GUY, way to go for EQUAL RIGHTS.

Are you really 44? I was wondering why a 44 year old would want to impregnate someone half his age but seeing your level of maturity it makes sense now.

Mike
Seriously
You're going to get involved in some tit for tat over a comment about using protection
when you're trying to ask for HELP
HELP HELP
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

From what I understood he wouldn't have been sleeping on the sofa. His ex was sleeping on the sofa at her parents which is why he hadn't been there during the night. Then she asked him to stay over at her home with the baby and her.

It's hard to keep track with all the drip feeding and super awesome insults the OP is eventually coming up with.

Nothing is clear other than the ops anger

And FYI
I was doing caps to point out how aggressive it is

oh and just so you all know ive been on Fb and mailed her to appologise,only to find that last saturday night,3 weeks after baby was born She went out clubbing,So that goes to show what mind of nother she is.

oh and just so you all know ive been on Fb and mailed her to appologise,only to find that last saturday night,3 weeks after baby was born She went out clubbing,So that goes to show what kind of mother she is.

Simple answer, if she had custody then, yes. But you could go to court to get access (but obviously that’s not simple).

Oh just fuck off with your judgement of her. So she went out. What if of it?

If we're into judging people, I'll tell you that I just at the fact that you are 44 and she is 22.

I'm far more likely to call you a dirty old man than call her a bad mother.

Yeah, there are some people on here with large age gaps who have had long and loving relationships. But the majority of the time, I think that age gap is just grim.

I held my tongue on that, but if you're going to start throwing judgement around, expect to take it too.

Honestly astonished that this thread is still hete.