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Original poster

Went on a date and I'm not sure if he likes me?

192 replies

gaynor83 · 09/10/2017 10:50

We have been communicating for quite a while via Facebook and decided to meet.
I went to visit him and meet for drinks. We seemed to get along really well and the conversation flowed.we did kiss and there seemed to be an attraction. He suggested that we spend the following day together too. We ended up having a nice day, he cooked for me. When I left we hugged and it was slightly awkward I wasn't sure what to do. But it seemed ok.
When I got home I texted to say thank you for the date and I had a good time.
His reply came this morning, he said "Glad you had a good time and got back safely. I am knackered too. You are welcome and were a good guest. Glad we met x
What do you make of that?
I'm not sure if he is keen or not and it seems not to need a response. ?

OP posts:
Original poster
gaynor83 · 10/10/2017 13:10

Do you think he has shown where I stand, in that he's not interested..or is it too soon to tell?
Actually a lot of his previous messages are quite formal to be honest. He usually takes a while to reply and then it's something quite lengthy usually. Hmm.

OP posts:
Gimmeareason · 10/10/2017 13:14

For what its worth i took his glad we met as a positive

Gimmeareason · 10/10/2017 13:16

I also think your follow up message is a bit deflated "reciprocate sometime" - doesnt sound very enthusiastic, i would have gone in with a concrete suggestion.

Just showing you how different things can be read differently

Imonlyfuckinghuman · 10/10/2017 13:17

gaynor look at your post last night, you said 'maybe I will reciprocate' - it's a bit different from 'I will have to reciprocate'

You should have just been straight with him Wine

Annabelle4 · 10/10/2017 13:17

Poor OP! It's a minefield Confused

Dumbledoresgirl · 10/10/2017 13:26

Probably like most other people on this thread, I am thinking what a minefield and guessing game the dating scene is these days and thank God I am not part of it!

But FWIW, I think your last text well and truly puts the ball back in his court. I would give it until tomorrow before I started writing him off - maybe even until Friday, but I haven't been in the dating game for nearly 30 years Shock - and then, if you haven't heard from him, at least you will know it hasn't worked out. I don't think any further attempts to contact him by you will be needed/worth it.

Original poster
gaynor83 · 10/10/2017 14:32

Aargh I know. So many different opinions too. I have no clue with these situations. I've got low self esteem too so have a tendency to over think far too much. But it is tough isn't it.
In my text I was trying to sound enthusiastic about another meet but not falling over myself either, maybe mirroring him?
I guess I will just have to wait and see.
It just feels like now that we have met in person, and I'm having all these doubts, it's changed the way we talked to each other beforehand. It was really easy chatting with him before 😔

OP posts:
TatianaLarina · 10/10/2017 14:38

Don’t try to analyse texts it’s a ridiculous way to live and to communicate.

Wait and see if he suggests another date, if he doesn’t suggest something yourself as he may be waiting from input from you. If he says no, delete and move onto the next one.

Teddy7878 · 10/10/2017 15:20

For all you know he could be thinking you aren't that interested either as your text seemed a bit curt too

Original poster
gaynor83 · 10/10/2017 15:28

Yeah maybe it does in hindsight. If he doesn't contact me is it worth sending something else in a few days? I thought I had expressed interest, saying I had a lovely time etc.and I genuinely would like to reciprocate anyway....it was kind of short, in response to his. Argh. I just want to say I like you and want to meet again don't know why it's so hard. It's all this fear of being desperate isn't it

OP posts:
averageguy1 · 10/10/2017 15:42

I think both your messages sound a bit non commital and maybe you are both trying to be cool why not just ask are you going out on another date ...the worse thing that can happen will be a no and then you know exactly where you both stand .

Teddy7878 · 10/10/2017 15:46

I would definitely text him tomorrow if you haven't heard anything saying something along the lines of "are you free in the next week at all for date no3 as would love to see you again"
If he doesn't reply again then it's crystal clear he doesn't want to pursue anything (rude to not at least respond and say he's not interested though). Maybe give him until Monday to respond incase something has happened such as he's fallen ill. Can you see if he's been active on his FB?
If no response by Monday then chalk it up to experience and move on. It sucks though

Original poster
gaynor83 · 10/10/2017 16:07

So even though I sent a text (albeit noncommittal) it's ok to send another before too long?
I really hope he just gets in touch though.
I can see when he's active on Facebook, he doesn't go on all that much. I think I might just contact him on there next time, as it's how we have usually chatted. Or will that seem weird as I have his number now.

OP posts:
Teddy7878 · 10/10/2017 16:10

Just message him on FB as you'll be able to see that he's actually read it. If he reads it and doesn't reply then you have your answer.
Even just send a chit chat type message like how's your day been? Just to see if you get a response

Zeelove · 10/10/2017 16:15

Don't text him again! Leave him alone now. You've done your bit

Original poster
gaynor83 · 10/10/2017 16:15

Yeah that seems a good idea. See if we can start chatting again. After this awkwardness. Maybe I'll leave it til the end of the week though...

OP posts:
Onecall · 10/10/2017 16:16

Yes I was going to suggest a chatty short message on Facebook although tbh if you found it easy to chat online before but now it's awkward, that probably says it all.

Original poster
gaynor83 · 10/10/2017 16:22

Maybe it's just awkward in my head. It wasn't awkward actually with him.
Ah I just don't know.

OP posts:
Teddy7878 · 10/10/2017 16:28

You'll regret it if you don't send him one last message on FB. If he replies then great, if he doesn't then he's not as nice as he first seemed and you can move on knowing he wasn't the right person for you

Original poster
gaynor83 · 10/10/2017 16:40

Thanks. You may be right. I just really hope he will contact me, that would be so nice. And I will feel better that I haven't done anything wrong too. Would like to have him even as a friend as we seemed to share lots of interests. Though I did fancy him. And it did seem mutual. Oh well.

OP posts:
sunnydayzzzzz · 10/10/2017 16:46

Don't contact him again. All this "it's 2017"!! Believe me if he is interested he will be in touch.

Poisongirl81 · 10/10/2017 16:50

Text him and ask

category12 · 10/10/2017 16:51

Don't message him again, he'll get in touch if he's interested.

LucieLucie · 10/10/2017 16:55

^The message os on past tense 'im glad i met you ' he's not interested .....sorry
When a man os interested he makes it very clear he leaves you in no doubt
When he isn't he plays it cool .
If he lingerd over saying goodbye after the meal at his it was because he was hoping for sex .
Wanting sex with you is not the same as wanting a relationship with you ...dont get them confused^

I agree with this ^^

Don’t text him anymore, if he posts anything on Facebook you can maybe ‘like’ it so he knows you’re still there but other than that just leave it.

thegirlupnorth · 10/10/2017 16:55

I think you're over thinking it. Text him and invite him round or ring him. Say you'd like to see him again but totally understand if he doesn't want a third date, just ask him to be honest with you. Life is too short to sit and wonder.

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