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Original poster

Went on a date and I'm not sure if he likes me?

192 replies

gaynor83 · 09/10/2017 10:50

We have been communicating for quite a while via Facebook and decided to meet.
I went to visit him and meet for drinks. We seemed to get along really well and the conversation flowed.we did kiss and there seemed to be an attraction. He suggested that we spend the following day together too. We ended up having a nice day, he cooked for me. When I left we hugged and it was slightly awkward I wasn't sure what to do. But it seemed ok.
When I got home I texted to say thank you for the date and I had a good time.
His reply came this morning, he said "Glad you had a good time and got back safely. I am knackered too. You are welcome and were a good guest. Glad we met x
What do you make of that?
I'm not sure if he is keen or not and it seems not to need a response. ?

OP posts:
TangledSlinky · 09/10/2017 15:12

Life's too short to play games. If you like him why not just ask him out? At least that way you'll know where you stand.

SparklingRaspberry · 09/10/2017 15:16

Oh god

Just ask him

I don't care whether it's 2017, I wouldn't waste my time and I certainly wouldn't be sat wondering does/doesn't he wanna see me again.

If you're interested then ask him. If you aren't then leave it

Beentherelefthimgotthetshirt · 09/10/2017 15:58

Your suggested message is quite cool and I'd take it as you not being that interested!

Why don't you just say something like "now we've got a second date under our belt are you up for a third?"

It's not ambiguous, not gushy and then you'll know.

Annabelle4 · 09/10/2017 16:10

I agree, don't send him that message if you like him.

HotNatured · 09/10/2017 16:16

Not chasing after a man is not playing games ffs, its not coming across as desperate! The guy has had ample opportunity to ask her for a second date but hasn't. This should tell anyone with a modicum of self awareness that they aren't interested and any further flogging of the dead horse will only serve to make you feel like shit.

Why is it only on Mumsnet that women give other random women they don't really care about this terrible advice? In 'real life' friends don't tell each other 'oh just ask him out' ! Course they don't, not if they care about their feelings Hmm

category12 · 09/10/2017 16:19

"glad we met" sounds like the brush off to me. I'd leave it.

absolutelyclueless · 09/10/2017 16:39

Don't message him, but as you're Facebook friends I'd put your gladrags on, go out to a pub and take a selfie to create a bit of interest. Upload it to FB, et voila! Sit back and wait for him to comment once he realised you're looking gorgeous and not giving him a second thought 😉

Original poster
gaynor83 · 09/10/2017 16:52

I am actually averse to asking him out myself. I really hate to look desperate. I think I'm just disappointed that I must have misread the signals. Whilst we were together he seemed very interested. He gave an impression that we would see each other again but didn't make any real plans so.. we have been chatting for ages having long natural conversations online and it just feels awful to now be reduced to a few curt texts that I've had to analyse and over think.
I feel like maybe we spent too long together and it was enough time for him to realise I'm not as good in real life. Maybe it's best to suck it up and forget it.
I guess I'm just terrible at reading people.😐

OP posts:
Original poster
gaynor83 · 09/10/2017 16:54

Feel like just deleting fb to be honest.

OP posts:
user1490465531 · 09/10/2017 17:01

if a man likes you he let's you know.

userxx · 09/10/2017 17:05

Gaynor83 - STOP!!! You are totalling putting yourself down now. This is what happens when you over analyse/ overthink. I would drop a text like Beenthere suggested. If he declines what is the big deal? You are driving yourself mad with the what if's and why's.

TangledSlinky · 09/10/2017 17:15

Not chasing after a man is not playing games ffs, its not coming across as desperate!

I do find it laughable that in this day and age we're entitled to vote and have careers of our own, but god forbid if we ask a guy out on a date we're considered desperate!

I suppose this is better advice eh?

Don't message him, but as you're Facebook friends I'd put your gladrags on, go out to a pub and take a selfie to create a bit of interest. Upload it to FB, et voila! Sit back and wait for him to comment once he realised you're looking gorgeous and not giving him a second thought 😉

Original poster
gaynor83 · 09/10/2017 17:24

I just don't know. I'm not the type who post selfies for attention etc.
I'm a bit shy I guess it comes over in real life.
Would just be nice not to have to always try to read between the lines with people.

OP posts:
Zeelove · 09/10/2017 17:26

I second the 'let me know if you fancy meeting up again'

Not desperate and keeping it casual.

Onecall · 09/10/2017 17:31

I do think you're right that it might have been too much too soon. An evening then all the next day with him cooking when you have just met would have been over the top for me. He might have just gone off the boil.

Teddy7878 · 09/10/2017 17:31

Why not just text him asking how his day was and some general chit chat. See if he replies in a warm way (or replies at all).

Teddy7878 · 09/10/2017 17:33

Don't be put off - my DP and I spoke all the time before we met, and after our 2nd date he went really cold and distant. He admitted a few days later he really liked me and was scared I didn't feel the same and would end up hurting him. We are still together now and very much in love. For all you know he might think you're not as keen and that's why he's taken a step back

Annabelle4 · 09/10/2017 18:02

Why not just ask if he'd like to do something at the weekend? Maybe he feels that the ball is in your court now, that he doesn't want to appear too keen.

Really OP, what have you got to lose if he declines? It's really no big deal. Move on to someone else (if you want to) Smile

Shayelle · 09/10/2017 18:11

Try and relax. Dont text him. Get in with your life. If in a week he hasnt made contact - you gave your answer. Maybe he is just tired? Dont seem over eager and keen just leave it. If he likes you and wants to meet again he will ask!!

SparklingRaspberry · 09/10/2017 18:21

Why does it have to be him who asks for another date?

He could be receiving the same advice! "Don't message just yet if she's interested mate she'll get in touch"

Fgs you're both adults. If you had text him this morning to ask and he said no, you wouldn't have spent all today wondering "does he like me? Was I too much? Did I spend too much time with him? Does he wanna see me again?" You would've had your answer.

Yes he's male yes he has a penis, that doesn't automatically mean he's the one who's got to ask for another date.
If you aren't willing to ask him out for another date, are you actually ready to date at all? If not, perhaps work on your confidence before you start dating again. Because how're you going to talk about you future together? How're you going to discuss important issues if you can't even text him and ask if he wants to see you again?

If he says no you never have to see him again. If he says yes then great!

I personally couldn't be dealing with all this hanging around, and if I was dating somebody who purposely didn't ask me something simply because they wanted me to ask It'd put me off.

Lulusmother · 09/10/2017 18:37

Right.... so you had a second date the following day? He cooked for you and spent time with you ? If he wasn't that keen he wouldn't have would he? Just send a text later saying it would be nice if you could recripocate and cook for him. If he doesn't respond, doesn't want to then you'll know! Don't overthink things just yet ! ☺️

MatildaTheCat · 09/10/2017 18:40

He may well have answered this morning just as he was getting into busy work mode for the week. A lot of men do not communicate their emotions well on text. Imagine him saying those words...they could be said in several different ways, on one hand saying, yeah, good to meet you, byee. Or good to have met you, I'm so happy we have found one another. So don't overthink it. Give it a few days and then consider sending a brief but lightweight text asking if he'd like to meet up again. If he says yes then arrange the date immediately.

Trills · 09/10/2017 18:48

Would just be nice not to have to always try to read between the lines with people.

Do you not normally talk to humans? You always have to read between the lines a bit.

And what are you expecting him to do? You're expecting him to read between the lines of what you've said. You haven't just said "I like you and I'd like to see you again".

spudlike1 · 09/10/2017 18:49

The message os on past tense 'im glad i met you ' he's not interested .....sorry
When a man os interested he makes it very clear he leaves you in no doubt
When he isn't he plays it cool .
If he lingerd over saying goodbye after the meal at his it was because he was hoping for sex .
Wanting sex with you is not the same as wanting a relationship with you ...dont get them confused

Changedname3456 · 09/10/2017 18:57

Well if both of you play it "cool" you'll never get together. As some PP have said, it's not desperate to ask someone (male or female) if they'd like a date and it's not risking your dignity to message him and say "I enjoyed it too, let me know when you're free for date 3" (or similar).

If he never responds, then you'll know he's not interested and so what?

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