30 days no contact - Thread no 2

[Mumanddadtoone]

As the last thread is almost full, thought I'd start a new one.

This is for all of us who are trying to do at least 30 days without contact with an ex.
So whatever your reasons for instigating no contact please feel free to join in and we can all support each other.

I caved. I made contact

Molly there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, what you are feeling is normal. Is there a mutual friend who can get the jewellery back for you? I took over 2 years to get back to feeling normal and stupidly ended up taking him back 6 months after resuming contact only to have him do it again, at least your not as stupid as me! .

Liza what happened?

Molly I know how you feel. It’s a month today since we went away. Had a (mainly) great time. This time last month I had absolutely no idea that when we got home I wouldn’t see him again. What a manipulative wanker. I should have left him to make his own way home from the bloody airport. I felt like it but I drove him nearly 2 hours home.

Liza what happened? Are you ok?

No mutual friends. Says a lot really, after a year. My sister gave me the necklace for a big birthday. If they're there. I will die if I contact and they're not.
Going to have a coffee and tear my bedroom asunder looking for them

He called me. Basically said how hard he was finding things but it was all for the best. I totally agree with everything he said, we weren’t right for each other, we argued all the time and weren’t happy. But it still doesn’t make anything any easier. I’ll be ok. Just a momentary blip. Thanks everyone for your concern

I’ve got stuff at his house too including a bloody PS3 I gave him for his kids to use. He’s still logging onto my Netflix account from it. I’m tempted to change the password just to inconvenience him. Stuff there I can live without though. I hope you find your necklace Molly. It would be a bugger to have to contact him after all this time

At his house there's
6 bottles of beautiful wine we brought back
1 large & v de luxe jar of artichoke hearts that he bought for me on holidays
My water-proof hiking trousers that I bought to go hiking with him!
My hiking boots
Other items of an intimate nature

I hope he guzzles the wine, sticks a glass rod up his arse and chokes on an artichoke. There.

BUT - GOOD NEWS! I have found the pearls my sister gave me.
& I nearly cried with relief. I'm still missing another set (given by ex-h) but I am hoping they might be at work.

I'm not as bothered about them apart from the fact I'd give them to dd some day I suppose. Hopefully they will turn up.

Thanks for kind words every one. This thread has kept me going on some tough days and tougher nights xxx

Omg Amin change that password!! And get your device back....!
He's a cheeky fucker!!!

I agree with Molly cheeky fucker indeed! change that password!!!!

I never used the PS3 and it was for his kids to use. If he had a shred of decency I suppose he’d offer it back. I bloody would. I will change the password though! Just to irritate . Glad you found your pearls Molly

Password changed

Hehe A! leaving the PS3 for his kids is great - but he can get his own fucking netflix!

Yes he can! Fucker! Hopefully when he tries to log on he’ll remember the PS3 is actually bloody mine!!

Hi everyone!

I am an extremely new poster here but I am a long, long time lurker. I actually made an account specifically to post on this thread.

I am on day two of no contact and I am struggling massively. I am still messaging him (although I think he has blocked me) and I have to admit I feel like my self respect is depleting by the minute. Half of me is hoping he has blocked me.
I can't see an end to how I'm feeling, although I know there must be. It gets so difficult at times my chest and throat close up and I can barely breathe.

I would love some advice/guidance to help me get through these painful early stages.

Hi brokenstrings, welcome to the thread! I totally get how you feel, it’s like a panic attack isn’t it? I get really bad. I’m told it gets easier! Hopefully we can all support each other till that time comes

Hi Broken and welcome. I’m sorry you’re feeling like this. It will pass but it’s tough right now. Firstly stop messaging him. Every hour you go NC you’re an hour nearer recovering. I found focusing on his negative points and the way he treated me helped turn sadness into anger. Try to keep busy. I’ve rather hit the bottle over the last 3 weeks and that really doesn’t help. I posted on his FB early hours drunk but thankfully was able to remove it before he saw it. Try to see if you can block him. I haven’t been able to do this yet but I’m heading that way. When you feel like messaging him post here instead. How did he end things? X

Hi Liza :) Thank you for your reply.
Yes, it really is like a panic attack, like someone sitting on your chest. But at the same time it can feel so empty too. I believe he is now ghosting me too which is awful.

How far are you on the NC road?

Brokenstrings, I have to have some contact as we share our dd. So I get a text daily regarding her on the days he doesn’t have her. He also called me today after I sent him a text I shouldn’t have, saying I found it difficult not talking to him! We were together 8 years, married 11 months so it’s weird now not talking! I just can’t get my head around it but know I have to. So I’ve failed miserable today. Fresh start tomorrow!

Thanks Nuts, glad to hear that you managed to delete the post before he saw it :)

It has been rocky for a few weeks (we have only lived together for a few months, been together nearly 2 years) and he ended it on Friday morning while I was at work, via text. We were supposed to be going away over the weekend too. I have not heard from him since. I have one bag of clothes and our dog and I am back with my parents (we are both early 20s)

I am 99% sure he has blocked me so he won't be getting the messages anyway, but I have not contacted him now for about 3 hours. Will try to post on here instead :) I feel like finding him and demanding an answer, you can't do this to someone you live with, just not go home.

I am just so heartbroken and bereft.

Wow Liza, you're amazing and strong. We only have a dog and chickens so I am lucky in that regard. To have a dd with him too and to have been together 8 years, you are allowed a moment every now and again.

He has just messaged me.

Tomorrow is another day Liza. In my wiser moments I know mine wasn’t right for me either deep down. We got on really well but I could never have seen it moving on. The sadness for me is the loss of someone I trusted to be decent because I thought he really was. He did have his bad points though that alarmed me. I’ll list them later, it makes me feel better

Broken try not to reply. He dumped you by text when you lived together. Fucking hell focus on that when you feel sad! What an absolute coward

I know... I have to admit I have replied to him but I'm not expecting a reply. I am not ready to block him yet but I'm going to delete all ways of contacting him.

Why don’t you list his faults, then keep re-reading the list when you feel tempted to message him. Start the NC now. We’ll help you

I know it sounds stupid but I can't see a way past this. I'm only 22 and have years to meet someone else etc, but I truly believe he was the love of my life. I can't cope with this.

I feel sick and I can't breathe, I don't want to have to go through this ):