Nagged for sex

[ohshiz]

I just don't want it. No interest right now. Why won't he just piss off and accept it. It's only been 4/5 weeks. You'd think the bloke was a raging teenage virgin by the way he's acting.

The nagging and incessant whining for sex is the biggest turn off. He can do one frankly unless he stops moaning relentlessly. If he just needs an orgasm yes he can go for a wank.

Intimacy should never be called fucking or shag when you're in a loving relationship

Why on earth not?! Don't be so prudish

I hear you OP. My husband does not do this but if he did I'd be annoyed too. So selfish.

Actually it's not prudish. Some have a bit more class.

If you don't like sex don't have sex. If you don't want a sexual relationship don't have one but don't tie someone else into this.

If you don't want sex, only had sex to have children, well you've got two now. Job done. Let the poor man go, it's the only decent thing to do.

If you want a faithful, loyal and affectionate companion, get a dog. If you want to pay the mortgage get a fatter pay cheque. You are being very cruel and selfish, not because you don't want sex, but in the way you are disparaging, belittling and blasé in your attitude to his very normal wishes.

Actually it's not prudish. Some have a bit more class

Lol

I've got 3 little kids, a dh who is at work for 12 hours a day, I'm bf so hormones are non-existent and the thought of making love right now is so far off my radar I don't care either. And I really don't want another baby either.

I do find my dh attractive but when I've been wiping bottoms all day, been pushed and pulled, climbed on, wiped snot off faces etc I have nothing left to give to anyone. I don't even want conversation, I just want to sit in a dark, quiet room and not be touched anymore.

I hope it doesn't last though.

And when dh does suggest we do have sex when the kids have gone to bed, he just asks me in the middle of the day or something and never tries to take things slowly. And immediately I just think NO! And spend the whole day worried I'm going to have make the effort when I can't be arsed.

It becomes a vicious circle of anxiety and putting up barriers. So I sympathise with OP I hate being nagged too. And im sorry if I am not a good wife but that is how I feel and I bet OP probably has a lot on her plate too.

He's agreed to it for 6 years that's my point.

Everyone reaches their limit.

I think you saying you give in once a month is telling.

Stop forcing yourself. Tell him you don't want sex and aren't interested, so he is welcome to find a girlfriend or get divorced.

Don't encourage him to seek it elsewhere unless you're really prepared for what will happen if he does. Divorce is no picnic.

Far better to separate amicably and let him find someone who loves him. It doesn't sound as though you even like him much.

Actually it's not prudish. Some have a bit more class

Trollolololol. Ok den.

4/5 weeks is a longtime for him ! I feel sorry for him especially as you refer for him to piss off ! If a bloke said this he would be classed as emotionally abusive !!

11balloons. Does sex have class? Do you make love in a classy way? There are different types of sex between two people, it's depends what mood you are both in.

Yep this was me & my hubby did go off for ONS.

I was devastated!

To all the people saying 'let him go'/'set him free' - what if he loves OP and doesn't want to? He has a life with children & as has been pointed out OP has always been this way.

Surely try and work together to compromise, after all that is what marriage is about in the long term.

Sit him down & explain to him to stop the pestering so that in return you will initiate it at least once every xyz?

For the sake of your sanity & your husbands something has to change as this approach only leads to upset for all involved (and I really am speaking from experience).

I couldn't stay in a relationship without a healthy sex life. Sex is fun and fosters intimacy and playfulness between two people.

I've been in a marriage were, I went right off sex....it was the marriage. Out of that marriage...I felt my libido return.

Google seriously? You are telling the OP to have sex and she doesn't want to.

Point is she can't expect her DH to live without it.

I appreciate itd be lonely if he didn't get affection elsewhere but he does.

That one statement says, for me, a thousand words. What's the back story and wouldn't you be happier without him?

You don't fancy him do you? Thats ok but you need to tell him. I know many women whose low sex drives suddenly took an upturn with a new partner

Do you enjoy it once your doing it, or is it a proper grit your teeth and think of England?

I feel like that a lot too

jeaux90
I thought I didn't want sex/wasn't interested at all - exactly as OP has put. The reality of losing my OH sharp changed my mind.
The tiredness and libido dampeners do get in the way especially if you are BF or are up in the night with kids.
But the reality of life on your own without OH and as you say never having sex again is easy to say but living it is not!
Do you still love your husband OP?

I think you need to sit down and have a frank conversation where you tell him that for the next 50 years or whatever he will only get sex a maximum of once a month, and that no amount of nagging is ever going to change that. If he's happy to stay with you in those circumstances and you're not willing to compromise or budge on that, then I guess that's his choice.
Equally he could say to you that for the next 50 years he is going to continue to nag you constantly, and no amount of rejection is going to stop that, and if you're happy to stay in those circumstances then that's your choice.
See how it's kind of the same thing? No one person's wants or preferences should outweigh the others.

Sex is boring and time consuming and not just wth him, I've had plenty of partners. Those commenting on here who don't have young kids, sorry, but you really have no clue how much that takes its toll. I'd much rather go to bed and watch tv than be touched. I want my time. He knows this. He knows it all and has done since day dot. I've started not having bikini waxes and not shaving my legs frequently as a deterrent but it doesn't bloody work. He still wants it. Yes he's entitled so I've said to him, I can't provide what you want, so consider sex elsewhere but he won't. Says he doesn't want to split.

Several people have asked you now whether you fancy him? Also wether you love him (or even like him?)

Why won't you answer these questions? They are clearly pertinent to the situation.

Hit send too soon. I therefore feel pressured to do it when I don't want to which at the moment is monthly but this is getting more infrequent

I get what you're saying but you will have plenty of 'me time' when he's left for another woman.

If that's what you want then fair enough but in the meantime sounds like you need to be prepared for the nagging to continue!

Yeh he's alright physically. Could do with losing his gut but I've always known him with some extra podge. I love him