Partner got a custodial sentence today

[Blushingm]

And I’m sad

I know he has to face up to his actions and take the consequences but I’m sad and I’m going to miss him

And yes I’ve worked in A&E - I’ve seen the damage drunk driving can do to innocent people - I never even have a sip of alcohol if I’m driving as if anything happened I’d never forgive myself as even below the drink drive limit I’d never know if that little bit had clouded my judgement or effected my reactions or driving ability

You need to realise that you're condoning his behaviour by being with him. You're telling him you love him for who he is.

Visiting him in prison is condoning his behaviour. You can't change him by telling him you don't approve and then shagging him.

No one in their right mind would associate with a man like this. No one hears is concerned about you not driving drunk. You simply need to get away from this man. Really good time is when he's in prison!

As a op said.... being with him is condoning his behaviour!!!

Walk away and turn your back.....he might wake up to himself (and save a life)

Blushingm

What do you actually see in this man?? Why doesn't he work? Why are you with him, really think about the future, do you want a druggie/alco criminal who doesn't work?????? You need to address the damage your mum did to you.

Amazes me how so many people on benefits can afford to run a car, drink, smoke and take drugs....

Blushing, have you done a placement on A&E? Have you seen the consequences of drink driving?

This is exactly what I came back on to say.

Op. Look I've got this feeling that your probably a nice girl. Who's got mixed up with a total dickhead. And you obviously have a brain to be doing a degree. Please please aim higher.
You say it's nothing serious but trust me whilst he's stuck in there he's going to be working on you hard. Telling you everything you want to hear. It will be you and him against the world. He will be released, you will stay together and eventually everything goes back to normal. Before you know it kids come along because life has a habit of drifting that way. There will be posters in this thread who will have zero tolerance for the stuff he has done. Some off us have lost loved ones to this absolute unnecessary crime. Please think long and hard.

By being in a relationship with him you ARE condoning his behaviour

One of the biggest lies women have been fed is that you can't help who you fall in love with/it's fate/the heart wants what it wants.

It's nonsense. Life isn't something out of a YA novel. Your stars will not align and this guy will not be healed by your selfless love and swishy hair. Start applying logic to the situation and stop listening to your hormones. We were given free will for a reason. You may still care for this man, but Cupid isn't up there dictating what you do next. Just because you care for him does not mean you should be anywhere near him. Ignore everything the romcoms have taught you and start thinking sensibly.

Love is NOT an excuse. You DO have control over yourself. You, and only you, are responsible for the choices you make. You are responsible for setting this man up as a role model for your children. You are the woman with the druggie scum for a boyfriend. Look at who that makes you. Don't think for one minute you're any better than the average dozy woman on Jezza who supports her lazy drunken fella "because I love him". That is you, but it doesn't have to be you. You can change that this very minute. Decide you are having nothing more to do with him. You aren't going to talk to him or set eyes on him again. Nobody is going to make you after all. It's your choice and you are entitled to make it.
There. Now you aren't a jailed druggie's casual fuck any more. Now you are a strong woman, training in a fantastic career, caring mother of happy children. A smart woman who makes the right decisions for herself and her kids. That's how you'll find a real man. Not that it matters, because being single is miles better than the current guy.

I'm not going to have a go at you, but please think. When you held your first newborn baby in your arms, did you ever plan to introduce him/her to the drugged up scum you're shagging?

*Custardcreamplease

Spot on !!!!!!!!!*

Just because he has done bad things and made horrendous stupid decisions - why does that make me such a bad person?

Doesn't make you a bad person, but your decision to be with him isn't the best decision, is it?

custardcreamplease for Prime Minister!!

Sorry OP but he is a scumbag.
He drives drunk knowing full well he could kill somebody.
He has no respect for the law and he should have got longer than 24 weeks.
If you were my daughter/sister I would be hoping that you use this time apart to make better life choices.

custard now THAT's supporting the OP! Far better than posting pictures of flowers and cake.Im sure it's hard for her to read but maybe she will let her defences drop just enough to let your wise words in

So sorry you're sad. Not really though. If you insist on associating with such dregs of society then don't gurn & cry when you have to face the consequences of such a foolish relationship.
Thank God he is in prison. At least he is one less danger to the rest of us law abiding citizens.
Get a life. Get away from him. If you have half a brain you will.

I'm glad he is in jail. Everybody else is a little bit safer whilst he can't kill us drink driving...

He is selfish lowlife scum. why on earth would you date him!? you clearly don't understand the impact drink driving has on victims and their families or just don't care! A person with any brain cells would be disgusted by him

Have you no self respect ? If you was my friend whining to me about how much you miss ' all this ' I would just not engage into any conversation about this / him at all. What a catch he sounds hey ?!

Your responses are very odd. I don't think anyone's that bothered about your own drink drive record - there's an assumption that as a decent person, you're law abiding.

What we don't get is why you're in a relationship with this convicted criminal, and you don't seem to have much to say about that.

Why are you in a relationship with a convicted criminal?

"Just because he has done bad things and made horrendous stupid decisions - why does that make me such a bad person?"

@Blushingm - as I said earlier, I do not think you are a bad person, but there is an old saying - 'If you lie down with dogs, you will catch fleas' - ie. you are tainted by association with this low-life. People WILL judge you because you choose to stay with someone who cheats, takes drugs, and drives under the influence, whilst disqualified and without insurance.

Several of us have asked you:

Don't YOU think that you deserve to be with a decent man?

This man may have some decent qualities - but they do not balance out his vile ones. Not at all.

Decent people do not drive under the influence of alcohol.

Decent people don't cheat on their partner.

He is not a decent man.

You may not be able to help who you fall in love with (although if this is what you fall in love with you urgently need to explore why) but you very much can help who you have a relationship with.

That choice should never be a cheating drink driving scumbag.

The OP doesn't need flowers she needs the truth. MN tells you what you need to hear not what you want to hear. It's probably a good thing she's posting here and not the other place, the replies on a whole would be very different.

FWIW OP I don't think your a bad person, I work with nurses and I have the utmost respect to anyone who goes into the profession, I do however think you need to work on yourself and your self respect.

I have been you, I have friends who have been or are in similar situations. These story's never have a happy ending, these "men" don't change.

Also OP but if he's on benefits and doing drugs and alcohol that money is coming from somewhere. The driving without a licence screams of drug dealing or ferrying a drug dealer

You know the phrase "he saw you coming" OP?

Another fine example of this supportive site.

This one again.

Being supportive does not mean agreeing.

I know someone who was killed by a disqualified drunk driver. I reserve my support for the family of those their actions hurt.