Red flags thread - post yours here

[lottieandmia]

I've spend a good amount of time working on what I will no longer put up with in relationships /dating & it's still a work in progress but I have managed to help myself by immediately blocking someone who has red flags (I have to be stricter than most people because of being on the spectrum I naive)

1. They ask you to do something which you say no to. But they won't accept no and keep nagging.

1. Constantly on dating sites. Constantly. There are many reasons why these people should be avoided not least because when they actually find someone they still keep looking.

1. Ignore your messages / don't text back. Nobody is too busy to text you back.

1. Look at their Twitter - the people they follow can be quite revealing. If they follow people like Hugh Hefner it's a bad sign.

1. They've never had a relationship. The older they are the worse this is. (Not always but generally)

1. Break ups were never their fault.

1. They call women 'sluts' & other misogynist terminology.

1. They put photos of themselves on Facebook and blank out other people. Unless this is a child this is odd and suggests they see other people as props in their life.

1. They tell you they don't know exactly what they're looking for.

10. They don't have many friends AND constantly fall out with the friends they do have and work colleagues and family (individually no but altogether = red flag)

11. They have a child they either don't see or don't pay child maintenance for.

12. You go for dinner and they ignore your wishes to split the bill, or they tell you what you're having.

I'm sure there are more...

An old thread but definitely worth a revive!
Someone close to me, a male (B), had all this from a female work colleague, I'd never thought of it as a female trait but she was definitely a bunting factory.

"I'm so horny today I'd shag anything, not you B don't worry you're safe"
"I do so much to support my DH, if I was your wife B I'd do X,y and z for you"
"I'm not a slag"
Guess who she had an affair with? Then it turned to, "you're just like all the other men, you don't care about me", "you're going to chase after C now aren't you?".
Then when it crashed and burnt NONE of it was her doing. It was all B chasing her, she'd made it clear she wasn't interested. Her DH believed her.

So just a reminder, women can be just as bad. B never saw it coming, everyone else did.

Great thread, wish I had this for all my fuck up relationships. My ex did most of the above. He left his first child with his mother, next two kids were left too, moved in with a family member, fell over himself helping out and taking the kids around then just left. Huge red flags but it was everyone else’s fault not his. Everyone warned me he was s lying fool but I ignored them, ignored that gut feeling that I had in so many different situations. Even when he went in for “a cuddle” with my auntie the day of my dads funeral I still didn’t leave. First sign of any flag now I suggest you run. I’ll constantly tell my kids about red flags even with their friends. We should really teach this to our children from a young age. We teach stay safe programme here in Ireland we should incorporate this into it too.

Just to add I feel so much better reading this thread knowing it’s not actually me it was him. Stay strong people

Loved the match on Tinder this week:
"OMFG You're so sexy" - thanks, but your message could only be interpreted that you see me in some sexual way...and that's disappointing.

Although, I have road rage at times and I gift on occasions. So maybe I'm doomed to be be forever single! :D

Yeah, I have had a guy on a dating site tell me I was 'blowing his mind' with my pictures, and then directly proceed to ask me 'when we could do something together' without knowing a single detail about myself or my life.

I dont always agree with being rude to waiters/shop workers. My ex always used to be nice to them, charming.....behind closed doors the most evil fucked up bastard one could ever meet.