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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH went out after pregnancy scan and isn't home

336 replies

AWOLDh · 13/09/2017 21:07

I'm trying to keep this vague in case someone recognises me but hopefully it will still make sense.

I had my first pregnancy scan today for our second DC.
We have a DD together , it took a long time to conceive DD and we had a couple of failed ivf attempts before we eventually had her.

So I always wanted 2 DCs, DH wanted 1. However after having DD he decided that he wanted to try for another. But I think in part he said yes because I wanted 2.
I fell pregnant on our first attempt and we were both a bit shocked at first as we were expecting it too take longer and the gap between the DCs is closer than expected. But once it sank in I was over the moon and DH said he was too.

So to today, we are at my first scan and the scan showed twins. Both of us were shocked and DH asked her to check again which she did and assured us it is twins.

So We left the room and DH said actually he had to go out and think and he needed space. He said that this wasn't part of the plan and he had to think. I said oh ok and didn't really question it.
He has been gone for hours, he has missed dinner and DDs bedtime.
I text him to ask when he is coming home but he hasn't replied.

I am zigzaging between being worried about him and being angry with him. I'm not sure if I should call him or if that will make it worse because he wanted space. But I'm also worried and annoyed and I want to hear from him.

OP posts:
namechangedforthisreply · 14/09/2017 09:13

Hope you are ok OP

Congratulations

DragonBone · 14/09/2017 09:20

Congrats on the twins !
Hope everything is ok x

Miserylovescompany2 · 14/09/2017 09:23

I hope he's back with his tail between his legs - yes, it was a shock for you both - flouncing off and not acknowledging calls/texts is not ok - I can understand if he needed space to process things, however, a quick reply stating he was safe or with so & so? Might have alleviated some of the unnecessary worry he's purposefully inflicted...

Congratulations btw Flowers

ILoveScrabble · 14/09/2017 09:32

.

MTverystressed · 14/09/2017 09:33

Agree with diodati's post.

MTverystressed · 14/09/2017 09:35

Also i don't think th OP should LTB with one child and now twins on the way...

I don't know how's posters really expect her to tbh.

Prusik · 14/09/2017 09:36

Hope he's home now, op!

InsomniacAnonymous · 14/09/2017 09:41

Oh dear. This is very worrying. I was hoping the OP would've posted to say he's come home.

GeorgiePeachie · 14/09/2017 09:43

It's no one's fault. and he will just have to suck it up. He cannot escape this responsibility. I hope he returns home safe.

anonymousbird · 14/09/2017 09:44

Hope you've heard from him/he is home now OP?

Alexkate2468 · 14/09/2017 09:50

Hope all is well

Fairybella · 14/09/2017 09:51

Hope all is ok op

dowagercountess · 14/09/2017 09:52

Any updates, OP?

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 14/09/2017 09:53

How are you today Lovely ?

GoldenOrb · 14/09/2017 10:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mrskeats · 14/09/2017 10:35

Is he back? Hope you are ok and talking to your dh to sort things off
Congrats too

Mammysin · 14/09/2017 10:36

Hope all is ok ?

lougle · 14/09/2017 10:39

I hope he's home safely.

DeadButDelicious · 14/09/2017 10:47

Firstly congratulations on your news! Flowers

I hope he's shown his face. He's clearly had a heck of a shock but there is no excuse for just disappearing off the face of the earth, he could at least send a text just to say he's ok.

m4rdybum · 14/09/2017 10:47

Hope your DH is home safely, OP. I would definitely be worrying now if it was my DH. Is it possible he has stayed at his parents or a nearby friends house last night?

He's had a terrible reaction to some shocking news.

Hopefully you can sort this out.

Branleuse · 14/09/2017 11:07

Congratulations on your pregnancy and im so sorry your husband is being a complete dick about it

Fitzsimmons · 14/09/2017 11:14

Hope you are OK OP. Flowers

AWOLDh · 14/09/2017 11:15

Sorry I didn't update earlier it was a busy morning and this is the first chance I have had.
I heard DH come in around 3 this morning and he must have received my texts because he stayed downstairs.
Then he got up this morning and was carrying on the morning routine as if nothing had happened.

In the end I asked him where he was last night he said he walked round for a bit then went to a fast-food place and waited there. He added that he didn't understand why I was making such a fuss as he told me he wanted space.
Admittedly I lost it a bit and told him he was selfish and of course I was worried about him. I told him I was worried and scared to but he didn't care because he only cared about himself.

He said he was sorry but he needed space. I asked him what if I needed space or what if I had waltzed off who would have picked up DD from nursery. He said he didn't think about that and I said he I know and then we didn't speak to each other for the rest of the morning.

OP posts:
Wishingonajetplane · 14/09/2017 11:17

Congrats and I cannot believe how calm you have been throughout you are an absolute credit to your dc.

I hope he is home now and making up for this , I felt similar after convincing my dh to go for number 3 I got pregnant within 2 weeks ( took 4 years for the first 2 dc ) and went for an early scan to see 2 sacs. My dh was actually fine, maybe because he didnt instantly understand what that meant but I was very panicked and freaked out. For us the 2nd sac was empty so it doesnt even compare but I still remember how i felt lieing on the table seeing it on the screen Flowers

GabsAlot · 14/09/2017 11:21

and thats he needed space an sod you

u got a right one there op