The Dating Thread Number 122: Colour By Numbers

[ConorMcGregorsChin]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Couch I've had two like that. When I met them there was no way I was getting naked with them. No way. I'm really strict now. No sexting, no pics, no promises of waking up together until I see him and talk to him. Even if I'm looking for a hook up I wait until we meet.

He's a stranger until you meet him. The reality is he's probably older, shorter and fatter than his pics!! At the moment you're honing your twat radar. So breath, take off your rose-tinted specs and practise saying "sorry you're not the one for me". Don't make the mistake of offering to be his friend to let him down gently either. The needy ones love that and it's like trying to get an amorous puppy off your leg.

That said if all you want is to get laid then fill yer boots girl!

I shagged a friend a couple of days after leaving my ex which got me back into the saddle so to speak then proceeded to collect FWBs until I thought was ready for a relationship so take your time.

Phoenix - I agree definitely over thought the first date. Need to relax and not read to much into the messaging.

Would you meet someone who lives 90 mins away? I've had what appears to be a someone nice messaging me, but I'm not sure.

PhoenixMama
It usually is consistent every day chats and about 1 or 2 dates a week.
It is a great filter of those who just want sex or those who really interested in ME. I met men that are not pushy at all,and I'm comfortable with that type.I also met those that are starting to get impatient after few days but I say to them that I want to take things slowly and yes,sometimes they drop off but I say good riddance !
Also I know myself and I know if I DTD too early more chances then not I WILL WANT to see them again and most likely it will move power balance in their favour (that's when things start to go wrong) so it is basically a selfpreservation tactic ,making me keep my dignity and emotions intact if I to be ghosted or dumped.

Whatis You are my new hero. Truly well done. I'm proud when I make it to the 3rd date. I should probably adopt your strategy, at least maybe to the 4th date! That said I would also worry that I would begin to really like them & then they'd be shit in bed but maybe that's less likely than them being a douche who just wants to get laid!

Well, I just spent awhile messaging some guy on Tinder. He asked for my full name so he could friend me on FB. I did and he has promptly unmatched me! Hilarious. I have no idea why, my Tinder pics aren't any better than my FB profile pic, and there is nothing bad about me that I can find by googling. Oh well, people are strange..

Is anyone else finding that the ratio of planned dates to actual dates is really poor? There were 3 guys I was meant to be seeing last week and 2 cancelled. Another one I am meant to see today but its looking like that's not going to happen either.

Of around 20 dates this year, 2 I saw again purely for sex, and apart from that absolutely nothing! If this was a job I was applying for I would be getting seriously depressed by now!!

That said I would also worry that I would begin to really like them & then they'd be shit in bed
I think more likely scenario that they will try hard to please and will be good in bed purely because they been on trial period for a long while so would want to impress

Would you meet someone who lives 90 mins away? I've had what appears to be a someone nice messaging me, but I'm not sure.
No way,waste of time ,money and energy if it turns into something mid or longterm.

would you meet... 90 minutes away it depends. He has to be able to drive and willing to share burden of travel. I'm in central London so not many available guys looking for a 51 year old live near me. If some one lived an hour's commute away I'd date them as long as they worked in London (then we could see each other on a school night). They also have to be house trained live on their own so we could spend the whole weekend dining and dancing at his place or mine.

Indietara. Wont take an ex back? I'm sorry I don't know your history/background. What wrong with taking back an ex?

Zippy theres nothing wrong with taking an ex back if thats what you want to do obviously.
But there's a reason he's an ex. I don't want him back.

Ok I've just signed up on POF, do any of you upgrade?

I've just had my first Bumble match, its only taken a week!

Eating no upgrade here. With bitter experience I've upgraded my filtering skills and hard stop limits to Platinum standard. None of the shit stuff bothers me until we meet, I like him and then I'm putty...

Can somebody explain how Bumble works pls?
Just had my first match so I messaged him and he claims to have not swiped right on me which is how I thought it worked.

indie that's definitely strange. Because that is exactly how Bumble works. Just like Tinder
I'm feeling very Meh...

Thanks For confirming Conor. Presumably he changed his mind but didn't feel comfy saying so

Indie he sounds like a right plonker, of course he chose you it's how Bumble works. I tried Bumble and spoke with 4-5 unusual men over a month, didn't go anywhere, but in principle plonkers removed it is the same as other sites. Just need to cross paths with regular person.

Ruby maybe you are friends with his wife's/ GF's friends? He spotted It and quickly hid? don't trust anyone on OLD

Placemarking. Hi everyone, been off the thread for a while, cos had a break from OLD. It's great to see everyone's updates and I will come back in a bit to update etc! So good to be back!

Hi again dravensA you ready to go head to head with OLD again?

I'm still here although seeing someone (few weeks) as I have not been able to get past 2 months usually stops at date 1 in the past 18 months.

Based on Ruby's post - do a lot of you Facebook friend potential irons? I tend to not even share my surname until we've met (or even a couple of dates). I'm just so worried about stalkers & freaks but wondered if it was standard practice?

Thanks Lana, and now Mr Truck's profile has reappeared on POF same username but slightly different wording.
Said he had a message from a woman last night. He messaged back saying he wasn't interested and she ranted at him then blocked him. She apparently reported him which is why his profile was deleted.
I don't know what to believe

Phoenix I try to keep mine private and cyber stalk theirs!

I have added 3 of the 20 or so that I have dated to FB. Still have 2 as friends, but not really friends.

Not sure if pof block without proof Indie , but it sounds a bit suspicious.

Has he made you feel uncomfortable when writing?