The Dating Thread Number 122: Colour By Numbers

[ConorMcGregorsChin]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
   
2. Develop a thick skin.
   
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
   
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
   
5. Trust your gut instinct.
   
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
   
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
   
8. If it's not fun, stop.
   
9. Loo update is mandatory.
   

10. No dating the thread.

[Beentherelefthimgotthetshirt]

Welcome Daily you've certainly been through the mill.

Submarining - I've never heard that and love it. So appropriate.

0000 I personally wouldn't say anything to a ghoster. It won't make you feel better because what you probably want is to jolt him into a response. If he doesn't reply you'll feel worse because he's kind of double-rejected you. If he replies he would have done anyway.

I'd wait and see if he's in fact a submarine (see, this old dog can learn new words...) and then send him a beautifully worded "sorry this isn't working for me. I want more than you're capable of giving me" type of dumping text then never engage with him again.

[PhoenixMama]

Oh we need a new thread! @ConorMcGregorsChin can you sort it?

[PhoenixMama]

User - Totally agree with Love, 1 message & move on. although i found Mr Keen on Twitter today and was SO tempted to call him out on being a dick

[User0000]

Something casual?

[Lovemusic33]

I usually send one message if I think I'm being ghoasted, if they don't reply then I have my answer, not worth sending anymore.

[User0000]

What can anybody recommend i say to a ghoster?!
Ignore the situ? Or call him out and see what the deal is.
Male pov would be ideal!

[Lovemusic33]

Hi daily I have had similar luck to you. I'm not sure why I still put myself through it. Let's hope better luck comes our way xx

[PhoenixMama]

Breadcrumbing is when someone ghosts you but then comes back to like or comment on your social media posts but without ever actually getting back in touch with you.

Submarining is when someone disappears for a while and then pops back up again.

[SerialMistakeMaker]

Hi COUCH Thanks for the warm welcome
I've devoured the whole of this thread in the last couple of days and I absolutely LOVE the Moosebugers reference, it seems I am guilty of this myself!!!
I'm not sure I understand the breadcrumbs reference though?

[dailydance]

May I join the thread please? I have been OLD for 3 years now. So far, 1 bi guy who wanted to be a cocklodger and pretended he was straight; 1 who was abusive, cheated and raped me; 1 who dumped me for a girl he met on sugardaddie.

I need a change of luck 😂

[Lovemusic33]

Your right Been, I'm useless at taking the bull by the horns but I think I will have too. He asked me last night what I was doing this weekend, he knows I'm only child free on a Sunday and that I am working this sunday. Next time I speak to him I will try and get him to see me next week. I'm happy to drive nearer to where he's working and go and have lunch during his lunch break. It's annoying that he's making suggestions about things we could do in months time but we haven't even set our next date.

[couchtospecialk]

The thread's on fire today!!

1DAD did you text her?

SMM Hi come on in the water's fine. You'll need to swot up on certain terms though... "mooseburgers", "breadcrumbing" and "turtles" (read back... very amusing)

Been yes I text him a breezy message saying what days I could do.
He replied saying all nice things though didn't try and fix a date, instead made small talk as well as asking if I'm still planning on moving away (previously told me he's disappointed I would be leaving). I told him my plans have changed and I'm now staying put and he's ignored it and not replied. What to read into that? I think I'm just going to lay my cards on the table if or when I see him again after I've pounced on him and ask him what he is looking for or what he thinks this is. This all feels a bit Dawson's Creek...

[SerialMistakeMaker]

Thanks BEEN, I've been loving your posts. Especially about how you have strict filters and try not to get over invested, then it all goes wrong (I hope that was you lol)

[Beentherelefthimgotthetshirt]

Love why don't you take the bull by the horns and see if he can rejig a day next week so you can be together?

[Beentherelefthimgotthetshirt]

Welcome SMM!

[Lovemusic33]

Been he was messaging me last night but I haven't heard from him today which is normal if he's busy at work. I'm working tonight so I'm not sure if he will message me after work (sometimes he falls asleep). I have quite a bit of time off work next week so hopefully he can fit in seeing me, if not I won't see him until next weekend. Messaging has got less but then he did say he has a busy week working so I'm trying not to over think it.

[SerialMistakeMaker]

Hi everyone!!!

Please may I join your thread?

I found it the other day and am soooooo glad I did!!!

I have read through all of it and am so pleased to find so many people that have had the same experiences as me with OLD. I was seriously beginning to think there was something very wrong with me. I know I'm not the prettiest or skinniest woman in the world but I like to think I treat people with respect and honesty which is something that I have discovered is almost completly lacking in the OLD world lol

I have been out of a 14 year relationship for about 2 years now and have been totally shocked by OLD. the last time I was single was when I was a teenager and you let people in clubs/bars etc. Now I'm in my 30's and am a single mum with 2 kids I don't go anywhere to meet new people, so thought OLD would be the way to go but now I'm not so sure, I think POF should be renamed plenty of FREAKS!!!

Anyway, just wanted to say hi to you all. Los of your posts have really resonated with me and if you'll have me, I would love to share my OLD experiences with you to get your opinions of what I'm doing wrong - I know my biggest problem is over investing, I am the QUEEN of that Lol!!

[Beentherelefthimgotthetshirt]

Love has he been in touch?

Couch have you been in touch?

[Graphista]

Phoenix I am normally more sensible but we did really seem to click, both of us saying how insane it was being so far away but that we got on so well it'd be insane not to see how it turned out.

[PhoenixMama]

Graph - I had that too but then after meeting he ghosted. Never let it run to more than 2 weeks of chatting before meeting. If you can’t meet in 2 weeks you won’t be meeting regularly after meeting.

[Graphista]

1DAD defo tell her it sounds like you both want same thing hope it works out.

Get what people are saying about me not having met him but we talked for hours on phone and Skype. Thought I knew him well we told each other our 'cons'...

[Lovemusic33]

Phoenix I have gone all day without checking POF to see if he's been online. I'm going to try not to check. I just need to get to the next date and then maybe I can drop it into conversation about maybe being exclusive (as he's planning things far ahead).

I have had a look on Tinder but nothing really takes my fancy, I don't think I can date anyone until I know what's happening with Mr Mountain even though I shouldn't be putting all my eggs in one basket so early on .

[Beentherelefthimgotthetshirt]

1Dad YEEESSS. Tell her. Be clear. Then tell us her reply straight away.

[AntiGrinch]

"other than the animals or objects therein for elimination purposes "

yes. Found a Star Wars lamp in house of Hot Sexting man. If it had been in any of the photos, it would have been an instant left-swipe.
(He's got blinds but none of them are tangled. They're instant left-swipe too)

[Beentherelefthimgotthetshirt]

The whole thread's on fire today. I have so much work to do too. Thank god I'm not in the office!

So true Grinch. People tell me I look just my Mum and nothing like my Dad and vice versa. I think we see mannerisms and hear vocal tones, and even sayings or family words, that chime with us or scare us and that kind of embeds our view of the person. I take little notice of photos these days (other than the animals or objects therein for elimination purposes - I got a tiger cuddler in my inbox the other day...) as they only bear a faint resemblance to their pics. I'm very much into the whole person too including how they write and chat on the phone. I need it all!!