The Dating Thread Number 122: Colour By Numbers

[ConorMcGregorsChin]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Purple just saw your update. I wouldn't create an issue where there probably isn't one. He flagged up in advance that he wouldn't be available yesterday evening, which I think is fair enough. We all need some time to ourselves and you had spent a large part of the day together.

If he didn't text back quickly this am it could be because he slept in, was in the bath, eating breakfast etc

Pavonia that's what I needed to hear. And that's probably exactly what it was. In his message this morning he told me what a great nights sleep he had. Good for him! Mine was shocking!

Love I know guys do seem to stop 'trying' quite so much when they've managed to get us into bed. Is that all or just some? Apologies to the men on here who might be completely different!

Will see how today goes. I'm working the next 4 days so that will give a natural break to it and see what happens then.

Love meant to say make sure you keep busy! I've got loud music on and tidying throwing out the DCs treasures crap

Purple Just relax. Be texted at 9am. That's not bad. He said he needed to chill and he did and probably just had a long lie (maybe tired after yesterday.....) Go with your plans for today with him and just enjoy it and see how he is.

Thank you Spring.
I find it a bit hard to relax but I'm getting there!

Purple I totally agree with Springtime you need to chill out girl! He told you he was chilling out last night and messaged you this morning. He's behaving very well. Don't let your anxiety ruin it!

Love Same advice to you lol. Two dates is way too early to be hiding your profile and not talking to other guys. (Even though you've dtd!) It will at least give you something to do/focus on!

So I'd like your thoughts on something great dating hive mind... Was chatting on whatsapp with Mr Keen last night and he sort of intonated/hinted that his (ahem) package was on the small size . I'm thinking that if he's bringing it up it must be something significant (no pun intended!) I think I opened up this conversation by saying I wasn't looking to jump into bed. I obviously said there's more to sex than size and to be honest some of the worst lovers I've ever had were larger and didn't think they had to do anything else but also not sure what to think. Have any of you dealt with something similar? I'm quite emotionally intelligent so wouldn't be cruel but could do with some thoughts.

Phoenix I subscribe completely to the 'it's what they do with it'! And everything else.
ExH was on the small side then put on weight which really didn't help as it got a bit lost . He was bloody awful anyway and in all the time we were together I never enjoyed it.
Current iron is a bit bigger but wow! He can use it and there's the other stuff too.
I think it's a matter of trying and seeing.
I DTD with someone who was huge and felt like I was being impaled! He didn't try much else as he thought it was all about his size.

Also, thank you for your reply. I wasn't the anxious type but the realisation my LTR was over caused me issues. I'm dealing with them and have a counsellor but sometimes need a good shake!

Thanks Purple. I hope I didn't make you feel bad about your anxiety - I suffer from it as well and its bloody hard to keep in check - especially when OLD!

Lovemusic I think you are over thinking things. From a mans point of view. Mr Mountain probably isn't aware of how unhappy you are. You mention things like hope he vanishes and his chats are getting boring. Well, do something about it, or tell him!

It reminds me of a girl I was seeing 2 months ago. She went and dumped me and then told me it felt like we were just friends. Well, I didn't make any moves because she never made any moves on me!

Some people just need a good kick up the ass to get things going.

This dating game is for the strong willed. I know a dozen friends or colleagues who are on OLD. Outwith the 12 I ve only known 2 who have actually met online and are in relationships. One has got married and the other has a 6 year old daughter.

It can work but there`s a lot of cowards, ghosters, cheaters, sex pests and serial killers to filter through.

Dating has changed so much when I was younger. You would just focus on one person only and not be distracted by so many others.

For me, I m trying to date others but I do still would like the last girl I dated back. Anyone else had a change of heart for a person they previousily dated?

Hello daters
So i have a bit of a weird situation.
Things are going swimmingly well with a current iron. However since we met I have realised that he bears an uncanny resemblance to my ex! I have shown pics to my sister who has confirmed this.
He is the total opposite of my ex in many important ways. And when he opens his mouth he sounds completely different.
It doesn't bother me at all. But I know that if I get to the point of introducing this guy to friends and family they are going to think that I am not over the ex as I am seeing his double!
Anyone else experienced this?

Ruby I haven’t had this but I’ve had friends who have.* I don’t think it’s a big deal. I def have a “type” although I’m not dating it at the moment.* Are you worried you’ll be embarrassed? I mean if he doesn’t act or sound like your ex & he makes you happy what’s the problem?

Zippy really good advice.* The number of people who don’t say they don’t like a behaviour or they’d rather have XYZ surprises me. People aren’t mind readers! We need guidance & especially early in a relationship.* Have you contacted this girl you were dating to see if she’d be up for getting back together? Why did you split? I’m a bit black & white when it comes to an end and never go back (I figure there is always a reason!) but I know people who it has worked out for!

Ugh sorry the app keeps screwing with my bold!

Purple and Love nothing to add to the good advice ^^ up there. I'm quite forthright (you'd never guess!!) and men always say how refreshing it is as I don't expect telepathy.

Ruby if it doesn't bother you then you'll just have to come up with a witty one-liner for anyone who says: "gosh Rubes, he's the image of Tarquin" or just pretend you haven't noticed and say: "really? I haven't noticed".

Phoenix fingers crossed something got lost in translation... Gentlemen of the thread please avert your gaze now. The worst three lovers I've had were huge. I honestly think one had blood flow issues as he, erm, couldn't maintain full on interest IYSWIM it would kind of ebb and flow, one was just uncomfortable as he was all girth and the other lazy! So no votes here for huge. I've had one micro job. It didn't work for me and is a deal breaker. I like a lot of PIV action so wondering what's going on down there isn't for me I'm afraid. It's fine for a couple of sessions if you're entertained in other ways but that would bore me quickly and I know that a couple of months in I'd be climbing the walls. If I can't detect a raging hard on during a snogging session doubts start creeping in...

zippy thank you, it's good to get a mans view. I just find it hard to know what to say and do, I don't want to seem over keen and scare him off but I also don't want him to think I'm not interested, I have held back quite a bit as I'm petrified of over investing. I haven't heard from him today, I'm trying to relax and not over think.

Phoenix I think a lot of men think they are small, as long as he hasn't got a micro penis I wouldn't worry too much, size isn't everything unless it's really tiny .

Purple and Love hope you are feeling a bit better now after the good advice you've had here. Fingers crossed all is ok. This dating game is bloody stressful if you ask me. At the moment I am feeling pretty relaxed about it but I know that can change at any time.

Phoenix and Beenthere yes the resemblance is not a problem, I just think it will raise eyebrows. As soon as anyone talks to him they will realise he is very far from my ex in many ways.

Phoenixmama Well, I went on six dates with this girl. Although I kissed her a couple of times. I think she was looking for a full on snog and for sparks to fly. She had a DD and had to find a baby sitter for her when she went on dates for me so they were very short.

Foe the people who got back together. What happened and was long period in between?

Well first introductory date with roller girl in a hour. Hope all the hype isn't a big anti-climax.

Zippy the time really varied.** Out of interest why no snogging? I have to say when I’m having to pay sitters I’m a bit more brutal about how quickly I decide if I’m up for it

So this is weird. I think Mr Keen might have blocked me on WhatsApp? His pic has disappeared & I’m only getting 1 tick next to the message.

Good luck 1Dad!

I'm going in

Phoenix have you got two ticks yet? I really don't want to think he's cleared off because you called him on the sexting but if he did then better to find out now.

1Dad I hope she's what you're hoping for!

Phoenix that Sounds like blocked sadly
Weirdos, ghosters, married folk, time wasters, keyboard warriors... OLD is a playground for them. Sorry lovely

I’ve deleted the message thread cuz I don’t want to stare at it waiting for it to change. If I’m not blocked then I’ll hear from him. Can’t believe it as he was messaging last night & this morning. But there we go. Rather find out now rather than after dtd but still. He was SO keen!

I hate what's app, I had the same problem day before last as I had sent a message to Mr Mountain but it hadn't gone through all day (was on one tick), it did go through when he got home from work but I was stressing thinking 'have I been blocked?'.