The Dating Thread Number 122: Colour By Numbers

[ConorMcGregorsChin]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

I have a pitential FWB but he is much younger -I'm 36 and he is 28 any advice ?

Ojojo Enjoy it? Thats not that big of an age gap. What are you concerned about?

I don't know never been with anyone so much younger and he is super hot and I'm super not

Well if he wants to get naked and DTD then he's clearly into you! My experience is younger guys often like slightly older women because they're more experienced. Don't worry about anything but enjoying yourself!

Well I dumped Mr 53 today. it was fun and casual, but then I started to feel taken for granted. He spends a lot of time with his adult son (allegedly). Both attend a sporting fixture most Saturday evenings and some Wednesdays, he also sees his 15 year old daughter each Wednesday (NO problem, obviously) - and now it's turned into Friday evenings with son and friends as well, and I feel I was relegated to Tuesdays and maybe another day sometimes.

Not good enough for me, being fitted in round his son. Seems weird a 23 year old would want to spend so much time with his dad. Son has LDR with his girlfriend, and his dad drives him there and back some Sundays too. There are trains, and his dad has given him money to buy a car, but he won't, apparently (he has a licence). I smell BS, and wonder if Mr 53 is actually seeing someone else and using his son as a smokescreen.

I have stalked his WhatsApp - I know, I know..... and after we say goodnight, he is still on it. He also once sent me a song via WhatsApp over an hour after we'd said goodnight - wondered at the time if it was meant to go elsewhere . Maybe I'm too suspicious and jealous, but I don't feel I'm a priority in his life - just a bit of fun slotted conveniently into his life, instead of fitting more of his time round me.

This is all he wants, and after two months I feel we have not progressed. I kinda hoped we would, made the mistake of accepting it, as it was fine at first, now I want to feel special enough to a guy to want to prioritise me - which HE never will.

Anne Sorry to hear that! Did you talk to him about it at all? I find guys are often clueless about stuff like that.

Thanks Phoenix yeah I've discussed this with him, but he's adamant the status quo remains. He said "you'd be happier with someone who has no family or ties and can give you 100% of their time"
I wasn't asking for 100% per cent of his time - just to be higher up the food chain with him. But his son's wants and needs come first. He once cut short time with me as his son wanted a lift to see his mate in a village - Mr 53 has said he enjoys being with his son and his mate, to which my (somewhat childish) reply was "you're fucking me not your son or his mate". Not proud of that!

Anne does sound like he was looking for excuses though it is hard trying to fit things around kids (shouldn't be as hard with adult kids). Sounds like your better off out of that one.

ojojo I agree that younger men like older women because they are more expereance during better in bed . I like older men for the same reason . Enjoy x

Purple I have introduced a couple partners to my dc's in the past, earlier in the year I introduced them to Mr MOD but only briefly (he stayed over a couple of times). I'm a bit more careful now as I don't want my dd's thinking I have a different man every few weeks. I will wait quite a while to introduce them to anyone but it can be hard when I struggle with childcare (I don't have any over night childcare so can never stay at anyone's house). My dd's are quite easy going and get on with anyone, their dad has had 2 partners since we split and they were introduced to both.

Well after not hearing back from MrCar after asking for a time for tonight's date, rather than cancel my babysitter, I've bumped up a PoF iron that I only started speaking to last night

How not to get invested, only chat for 24hrs before the date and know nothing about him....hahaha.

What's the worst that can happen!!
We're going to the 10pin cause he mentioned it on profile for 1st date ideas and I told him I'd beat him!!

spring I had a date a few hours after talking to someone on Tinder, was probably the best date I had (sadly he lives too far away), I was less nervous as I didn't have time to work myself up about it. Hope your date goes well.

Hi, Ladies
Well just a had a long and looks like very honest text off Mr Banker.
He seemed too good, I mean he is the whole package ,that's why I liked him and of course turned out he's not single. All the good ones are taken ! But he must be shit anyway as he's feeding me usual stories about failed marriage ,sleeping in separate bedrooms but surprise surprise he wants me,promising the world: a relationship (that could turn into him leaving the wife ,who knows right?), wining dining,free holidays abroad and obviously his d**k.
Wow just wow.
I think I'm going to stop online dating for now and I think my place is on this thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3032154-learning-to-love-ourselves-ditching-the-dating-scene-support-thread

That's shit what Yeah a break is a good idea.

Awww What some men on OLD are just wankers. Have a wee break and chime back to lots of fresh irons.

What so sorry , there seems to be quite a few of these dick heads men online dating, I never understand why someone would chose to stay in a marriage/relationship where there is no sex involved, where things have fizzled out, I guess because they want their cake and eat it, leaving is too much hard work.

Oh What I'm so sorry. There are far too many of those guys out there. Hang in there!

Shit whats bloody hell man. Same old shit. Hugs

Sorry to read that what. Hope you're okay. Taking a break can be good, I've done so a few times. Take care.

Whatisgoing - sorry! So sorry! That's shit. I feel your pain, lady.

Hey everyone!

I need coaching. I want to ask someone about their STD status. I want to ask them when they were last checked out and how many people they have slept with since. And maybe depending on how this goes suggest they get checked out again, or even actually not suggest but ask them to

Please can someone coach me in a form of words for this? I feel stupid and embarrassed, even though I know these are reasonable questions, and I want someone to tell me what to say so I can just practise and then come out with it.

thank you!

Anti I've just asked my fwb this today. I just said "I've just been tested and everything was ok. Can I just check how long it's been since you were last checked? And how's it been since then? Just so i know if I need condoms or not?"

ok. But I haven't been! I am ok but only because the last man I was with was my partner for years, with whom I had children and was a breastmilk donor and was tested to the nth degree to do those things. I can't say I popped to the clinic last week, because I didn't.

but thanks for the suggestion. I guess you've identified my problem - it feels really aggressive to say "YOU need to do this" without saying "whcih I also have done / will do / need to do" - maybe I'll just say that. Maybe I'll just say "let's both go to the clinic" - even if I don't really feel like I need to. I can talk to them about contraception anyway

You could say you are planning on going and keep the rest the same.

yep I think I will. Thanks!

And you wouldn't be lying if you said you have been checked, cause you have. Just a while ago but you know you're still clean.

Use condoms every time. But Yes, have the chat. If you feel you are happy to be intimate with someone then you should feel comfortable to ask the 'have you been checked' thing.

Case in point, I've just met another potential FWB. We have already had the condom chat. Simples. Just grit your teeth and ask the question. Pretend you are on here and it's just a normal everyday thing to ask.