The Dating Thread Number 122: Colour By Numbers

[ConorMcGregorsChin]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

So I had a coffee date today with SexShopMan (so called because he works in the local Adult Store!!). Was really really nervous but it was amazing! Had a really lovely time and I'm still smiling! I'll catch up on the thread later. Hope you're all doing OK. Just wanted to tell someone before I actually burst!

Aww bless Pls that's good!
Have you heard back from him since?

Yay pls!

3rd date with MrMusic today. It was 6 hours of loveliness. I need to keep reminding myself it's only date 3. That lots can change. But he's lovely and all the things I never had in my previous LTR, not even at the start! We had some good chats about things today too. It feels like we've known each other for far longer than just a week. And there is my problem, it's just a week. But it feels so good! How do I keep from over investing at this stage? We're seeing each other Sunday.

Pls you sound like me!

Just enjoy it Purple but be aware at the same time that it could end tomorrow.
Good luck though!

Yes Conor he's been messaging me all day since! Already trying to get a second date! Yeah purple i need to keep reminding myself its only the first date!! It was amazing but I'm aware we were both on our best behaviour. I've been totally honest with him though, and told him I don't think I'm ready for any commitment but just need some fun after a shit marriage - he seems fine with that. its got potential...

Well I thought my FWB had real potential but he's gone cold on me so I have 3 dates lined up for this weekend!

Conor I do keep bringing myself back to the fact it could all end tomorrow. What makes it harder is that, that fact has seemed easily to remember with other irons. This one feels totally different and if it does end when I least expect it I will seriously question my judgement abilities. I can see it would really knock me and therefore I completely understand people who pull back when things look good as they are scared of rejection.
Pls my first date was not great with MrMusic. In fact I was wondering if I should go on another! Glad I did

Anti I would only be having that conversation if I've had the exclusivity convo. Otherwise totally with Conor & I would just bring condoms with me & be prepared /expect to hand them over. My FWB is the only guy in 6 years to pull out a condom before I had to (others had asked if I had them or waited till I said they needed to get one). If they're not using them with you they're not using one with anyone. Also be aware that some guys will try (repeatedly) to go bareback and you just need to stand your ground. I have literally gotten out of bed, got dressed & left because someone I had been on several dates with refused to use protection to dtd.

I think if you want to have that conversation but be aware that most people aren't going to answer you honestly about how many people they've slept with even if they can remember so it's def better to couch it with 'I was tested on xyz and I'm clean, how about you?' Interestingly the 50+ age group has the fastest growing STI rates of any age group so it def pays to be protected!

I am totally ok with bringing and using condoms and insisting. I would rather bring a nice safe new condom than wonder what ancient, worn object the guy is going to be coming up with, in fact.

The thing is I think the exclusivity conversation might be about to occur. This whole thing is a minefield ... I am so out of my depth

Are condoms safe? If you just bring them and use them is everything ok?

As far as options go condoms are the only real option to prevent most STIs. And yeah you probably want to get new ones rather than what some guy has had in his wallet for 10 years lol.

And yay exciting about exclusivity! I think I missed some of your dates Anti - which iron is this?

Out of interest what makes you think the conversation is about to happen?

My date was fun but there's no long term potential for me. Not enough intellect to keep me interested.

Can't tell him that tho haha

Spring did you best him though?!

BEAT!

Is this a red flag?
Current iron has asked if I've been chatting/meeting anyone else on OLD right now. He said he hoped I wasn't and that he would be a bit upset if I was. He dressed it up in quite a jokey way but I was a bit at the question. I'm probably overthinking but it felt a bit red flag like.

My User how many dates have you been on? Where are you in the dating scheme of things?

Purple of course I did. I'm pretty sh!t hot at 10pin

springtime we've not met, yet. We were talking about how we found OLD and he just came out with it.

My I haven't had this converstaion but made it quite clear on my first date with him (today!! yayy!!) that we weren't exclusive. I dont know if thats the done thing but it made me feel better that i was honest - and he's been whatsapping me all evening since so.......

Definite red flag then. Ditch him now. Imagine that in real life. Everytime you so much as looked at another man.....

myuser that's premium red flag bunting. Yards and yards of it. If you meet him now you'll be eternally guilt-tripped on all sorts. Go there at your peril.

Thinking about it I do think it is a red flag. Just rereading my message on here and the first thing I think of is 'that's not right'. Quite glad I asked on here now. It's a shame as we seemed to get on well.