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Original poster

The Dating Thread Number 122: Colour By Numbers

999 replies

ConorMcGregorsChin · 13/09/2017 18:27

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
OP posts:
1DAD2KIDS · 27/09/2017 20:25

Maybe more sets of identical twins are doing tinder these days?

starskey80 · 27/09/2017 20:35

I'm Irish and I find the northern Irish accent very sexy.
Also Scottish and the Welsh.

Tinder seems to be down tonight. But had nice bit of banter with the Italian.
I'm not sure if we'll gel though, but I suppose will meet and see.

ojojoj1 · 27/09/2017 21:02

Can't back from another date that didn't pass kitchen counter test . But nice dinner 😂

whatisgoingon1 · 27/09/2017 21:27

Can I ask for opinion pls? My iron from neighbouring city is definitely willing to travel now to see me . Arranging for Saturday. I thought shit is getting real so let's find out more about him.So I ask him to add me on fb. He replied he's not into fb. I ask how about Insta or Twitter. He goes off WhatsApp for about 20 min. Meantime I found him on messenger because he's now in my contacts. Look at his profile. 3 pics same as on bumble ,2 others with a woman. Last pic with a woman posted over a year ago(corresponds with how long he says he's single). Could be an ex could be current partner. Anyway he reappears on WhatsApp saying he has none of mentioned. I ask none of 3 above? He says none apart fb.He has it but doesnt use it.
He messaged me since again but I'm avoiding him,don't know what to do.It feels dodgy to me.what do you think?

couchtospecialk · 27/09/2017 21:37

whatisgoingon if I follow I think it sounds perfectly reasonable. I know loads of people that are on FB but don't really use it. I'd be reluctant to add an iron to my FB as there are so many bloody awful, stupid drunken pictures of me on there that my friends have added Blush. Plus pictures of me with my ex which won't be conducive to good dating...

Lovemusic33 · 27/09/2017 21:39

whats there's no way I would add someone on Facebook or messenger before meeting and probably still wouldn't after several dates. I don't use twitter and have only just opened a integram account. I don't think he's being sneaky, just careful?

couchtospecialk · 27/09/2017 21:43

Am having a quiet night in casually OLD'ing. PHOENIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXX????!!!!!!

whatisgoingon1 · 27/09/2017 21:45

That's why I'm asking for opinion as my approach is totally different. I know I have nothing to hide so never refused friend request from potential date(might unfriend later on). Both my online relationship resulted fb friending before we met in person .

PurpleSweetPeas · 27/09/2017 21:57

Whats I wouldn't accept an fb request till quite a way down the line but I'm overly cautious about my personal info.

Pavonia · 27/09/2017 22:29

I avoid identifying myself on Facebook to potential dates because I am self employed in an unusual profession and have an unusual name, therefore it would mean they could find out my address, phone number etc. very easily. I don't really use Instagram except to follow my kids and my Twitter account is mostly used in a professional capacity and again makes it easy to access my contact details. I don't think there is necessarily anything sinister if someone doesn't want to interact on social media.

MyUsername200 · 27/09/2017 22:41

I use Facebook but don't add irons to it, or even hint I'm on it. I wouldn't want them finding out too much personal information. I know a couple of my friends who have also used OLD don't add irons to facebook for the same reasons.
I would only add someone if I became serious with them and had a degree of trust in them.

PurpleSweetPeas · 27/09/2017 22:49

See, that's interesting. Where do you all draw the line re trust? When do you decide you know someone well enough?

MyUsername200 · 27/09/2017 23:15

Purple I think for me I'd have to be seeing them exclusively at least before I'd consider allowing them onto my Facebook friends list. To be honest my FB profile doesn't have a whole lot on there, certainly nothing too personal so if the relationship ended I wouldn't be too worried they knew too much.

I think everyone has different opinions on trust & social media. Personally I'm finding it harder to trust the older I get and more dating experience I acquire.

SpringtimeSun · 27/09/2017 23:28

Well I messaged Mr Car this afternoon to get a time for tomorrow and....no surprise, no answer although I know he's read it. So I'm guessing that's off.

Mr Older came over and fixed my broken thing. Turns out he's not looking for what I was looking for but has another kink that he'd like to explore with me. I'm pondering the idea.

Ciaovenora · 27/09/2017 23:43

RK. For what it's worth (and I've read your thread) I don't think you did anything wrong at all.

I'm saddened anyone who has read his thread can conclude hes a decent guy. Some of his posts are beyond creepy.

PhoenixMama · 28/09/2017 00:02

Hellllloooooo! So. Great date. He's funny, lovely & exactly like he was on text. Really great night covering a lot of topics. And he did the really sexy thing of "I'm going to kiss you now" with hands in my hair that always makes me melt. Has a very early start tomorrow morning so wasn't super late but we still packed in plenty of kissing. He's clearly a grown up, and although I don't think he knows what he is looking for, he knows what it's not. He suggested next week for second date. I like him. I think we'd have fun together. Really great kisser right off the bat so that's good! Grin

PhoenixMama · 28/09/2017 00:05

Oh and I would never add an iron to social media until we'd been seeing each other for a bit. Also into that consideration would be when/if we attend events I'd share or have photos I'd share. I'd also think it was really weird forward if someone asked to connect before we'd met in person.

Original poster
ConorMcGregorsChin · 28/09/2017 06:48

Phoenix Yay!!

ciaoverona damn right. He won't be back. That was one tucked up thread he had. I'm gobsmacked he got any support. Then he started his passive aggressive shit on there. That sort of crap is not welcome on here!

OP posts:
Original poster
ConorMcGregorsChin · 28/09/2017 06:49

Tucked up... Grin Fucked up. Bloody phone updates!

OP posts:
whatisgoingon1 · 28/09/2017 07:14

Anyway I probably looking for excuses not to go on a date with him .
Had a text off Mr Banker last night and found myself thinking for 45 minutes on what to reply so the text will be interesting and engaging but not desperate, flirty but not overly , leaving him wanting more and anticipating it. I just realised I'm 9,5 out of 10 hooked at this stage probably because he's that clever at this online dating game. Not sure if it's intentional or natural. He's texting every few days only,but when he does it's always interesting ,informative,bit flirty and shows he actually does things and isn't boring. I don't think I can get disapointed after meeting him in person , he's that good on a paper now!
And Phoenix sounds like romance is in the air. Pleased you had good time yesterday. You deserve it!

Original poster
ConorMcGregorsChin · 28/09/2017 07:15

Oh anf regarding social media, I'd get mightily pissed off if someone harassed me for fb, Instagram, Twitter before meeting. Although I do understand the desire for open and honest from the start. There's so much we have to be wary of.

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 28/09/2017 07:26

cia I think rK was just upset, he expereance don't ghoasting for the first time and it's not nice, no one deserves to be ghoasted, maybe next time rK won't over invest too early on.

I think it's rare for anyone to add someone on FB before meeting them? I have don't it once before and it didn't end well, I have also had people find me on Facebook and then use messenger to harass me (I have had to block them). Mr Mountain asked if I had Facebook, I told him that I do but I don't feel comfortable adding him as I use Facebook a lot and it has photos of my children on there, even though we have now met I still won't add him. I have added a couple people on instagram but I don't post photos of people on there.

whatisgoingon1 · 28/09/2017 07:43

Lovemusic in my experience it's totally opposite. Ended well in 95% cases .Either in romantic sense or became friends,those that become friends even helped out with few things .But I suppose what you see fb as.I have no drunken pics, no weird posts but basically poitive version of my life .And quite a few great pics that show I'm a beautiful woman not lacking attention. Basically I'm a boaster there. Haha

PurpleSweetPeas · 28/09/2017 08:32

Phoenix how exciting, fingers crossed. This is the lovely bit of dating isn't it

Love have you got to the stage of introducing new partners to your DC? If so, when did you feel comfortable doing that?

PhoenixMama · 28/09/2017 10:10

Thanks everyone. Still smiling about the fab kissing last night & he messaged me this morning to see how my 3 aperol spritz head was. It's interesting because I don't feel the need to rush this one, plus he's going on holiday soon(ish) so we'll have a naturally enforced pause then. We'll see. I know he's had several 2nd dates and then things didn't go anywhere & I don't know if that's them or him. So I'm just trying to enjoy this nice fuzzy feeling.