The sentence that ended your relationship

[OhHolyFuck]

Sort of a taat, but reading sosos grammar school thread and it got me to thinking

When ex-dp and I were 'trying' (i.e. I was doing the pick me dance/hysterical bonding and he was sexting everything with a pulse and lining up his next victim girlfriend) we had a conversation about celebrities we'd like to be

I said various people for their attributes and then he said he'd be Peter Pan - when I asked why he said 'because I don't ever want to grow up, it's boring isn't it?' and it was a 'scales falling from my eyes' moment - I had morphed into this boring responsible dowdy mum but thank god one of us had because he was simply never going to take responsibility for anything

Every letter he didn't take back to school that I'd had to fill out, every time he was late for work, every time he lived off microwave burgers and spent 20 hours a day gaming - it wasn't me, it was him looking to be forever 16

So what was yours?

After I told him I couldn't be with someone who kept lying to me:
"I swear I'll never lie to you again. I know I have to be completely honest to make our marriage work and I swear there was nothing going on with me and X"
I had screenshots between him and X where they quite explicitly detailed what they'd been doing to each other.

Admittedly not a serious relationship (I was 18, he was almost 40) but this line was the end:

"No sorry he's not back home yet, can I help I'm his wife?"

Which married man having an affair gives his home number to the OW?

I'm not going to go for a drink with you.

Sound innocuous enough doesn't it?
We'd just bought a house in a really 'cool' area, loads of fab pubs, bars, restauranty bistro places.
All our friends were nicely jealous.

He was a massive pot smoker who wouldn't go anywhere unless he could guarantee being able to have a spliff

I was so excited at the thought of wandering up the road for a drink with him but no. I even changed it to 'we'll go for a walk so you can smoke and just stop for a quick half a lager' but no.

It was the tin hat on a long line of incidents that meant he would never put my wishes first, never compromise, never put himself out for me.

I left a month later - many years down the line he's still there, still not going out, not decorated still being selfish, and alone.

notreallyarsed That made me cry ...

to you all. Amazing women every one.

There were a couple of things really. one being "you need to police your rubbish better"

We'd had some bad winds and a couple of things had escaped the recycling box and got caught in the bush. It wasn't so much what he said but the fact that he stood there with a kind of hmmmm wide-eyed dad look waiting for me to apologise profusely. (I nodded and walked away)

and lastly "There's a list of, like, 50 things about you that would be better if you just listened to my advice"

There was a list of one thing that would make my life better and that was dumping his judgemental arse.

When I ran into an old friend randomly on the way to work. He asked me how I was doing and I said: "I'm married to X but I'm in love with my best mate". "You'd better do something about that then" said my old friend, whom I haven't run into since (and that was 20 years ago).

First time I had realised how serious it was. Ex was an abusive twat so it really had been a matter of time.

When she said "I have accidentally had sex with someone at work " ..."three times" that did it for me and never looked back in 4 years .

"I know exactly how you feel (about me having my dog put to sleep), I had a fish that died once..."

"I never did any cleaning/night feeds/organising/laundry (when I was really struggling with a traumatic birth and PND) because I was waiting for you to ask me."

"Read it while sat on truck"

Pretty undramatic but after spending months trying to get my EA ex to listen to me and understand what he had done/was doing, this pathetic response to me pouring my heart out once again said all there was to say.

I ended it the next day. Finally.

My XH had done aload of awful stuff (had an affair, said loads of cruel and hideous things to me and the children, been aggressive and emotionally abusive towards me) but weierdly I had thought 'maybe a few years down the line, we'll be able to have a kind of 'meet for the odd coffee' type of relationship.

The point that ended it for me was when our dog died when he was off visiting his girlfriend. (We were still house sharing at this point) He said very little when he got home and the next day I said to him 'You didn;t seem very upset that DDog died' and he said really coldly 'no, I wish we'd had it put to sleep years ago'.

That was the point at which I realised what a truly vile person he was, that he could transfer his dislike of me to an innocent animal. And calling her 'it' like she was nothing, and he knew how much I adored that dog. Then I knew I'd never want to have anything to do with him again.

This was a guy I'd been dating for a few months, so absolutely nothing compared with the stories on this thread.

"A seagull swooped down and stole my sandwich out of my hand. I started crying and was so upset I couldn't go back to work for the afternoon".

He was 40, and that was our last date.

"You can just borrow some of DS money until tomorrow" - said by me!

Backstory: Ex was already a cheat and a fucking horrid person so I'd already told him to leave by then but we were still together, just not living together. I desperately wanted to make things work as I didn't want our child to grow up without a father as I had done (I know, I know)!
Ex comes over one day, went to make a cup of tea in kitchen so I heard him go into the kitchen cupboard and then he came back to the living room and said he'd changed his mind. I thought it really odd, he looked shifty but couldn't put my finger on it and he left.
Next day he rang me asking if he could borrow some money from me, I said I didn't have any on me but he could borrow it from DS and I would put it back the following day after going to the bank.
I went to the kitchen cupboard - where I had DS birthday/Christmas money hidden behind food until I had chance to put it in an account for him and it was gone. He was the only other person who knew it was there.
It could only have been Ex because I never have anyone in our home. It was obvious he'd taken it the day before and then rang to ask to borrow money so I wouldn't suspect him (well he had NO money, why would he ask to borrow money from me if he'd taken it)!!
That was the end. I'd put up with several affairs/cheating, he was emotionally abusive and violent but anyone who can steal money from their own child like that is just beyond disgusting. I don't think I ever felt so hurt and broken in my life.
I replaced the money from my own account and my DS will NEVER know what his dad did to him, he has zero contact now anyway thankfully.

"I was using you and I only asked you to move in with me for you to get my house in order"

I am not sure what the exact words will be but I think I need to place Mark after 25 years and I think it's dead in the water

He's not a bad man (in fact he is generally lovely . Kind and selfless) and we were so in love. We had a terrible run of years post pnd and financial difficulties. We are quite a few years the other side of it but it's never really been the same. We both know it but neither of us brave enough to make the break. We still love each other but deep down we know it's been over for a long time.

"I have to drive because half wit here can't."

Very minor squabble in the car on the way to a wedding resulted in him responding to why he wasn't drinking with that. I couldnt drive because he refused to allow me to have lessons. The scales fell from my eyes and I left a couple of weeks later.

I knew what he was, I just couldn't accept it until the night he said about a woman where we both worked, 'I'm not looking but if she was offering I wouldn't say no.'
Never saw him or spoke to him again.

A text message on his phone to the OW which said, "I'm in love with you ".

I hope to never again feel how I felt in that moment.

When we were trying to discuss our 'issues' and it was all negative , negative, negative about me. I asked him is there anything you like about me ? He paused, hummed and hawed for ages, and the only thing he could eventually come up with was "I like the way you look !',

It was the death knell, over and out within 4 months.

I hate you.

I only asked what was wrong as he seemed a bit off. We had a 3 week old baby

And, it transpires, another woman.

Tonight. I told him the reason I've been feeling terrible is that my PMS is 1000 times worse for last few months because I'm in perimenopause. I've been asking him for 4 years to start trying to have children and although he promises me he wants children with me he is never 'ready' yet, and point blank refuses to do anything that might allow the slightest accident to happen until it's the right time for him. His response was to say 'oh that must be hard on you that you lost that chance then'.

in my 20's/he was a tatto artist
2 things inside 2 hours.coming home on bus saw a tattoo on girl(i had designed this tat)complimented her on it and asked how much it cost/she smarmy smiled and said not much.(should have been 300$)
get home said male- wants me to give him all my cash,no, going to pay the rent.
next thing i know i was on the floor having my head slammed into the floor.
while he was spouting" why do you make me do this".(turns out he was a budding speedfreak)
got up made a phone call and was gone.

"I don't love you and I probably never will" ended it there and then.

Stupidly got back together with him after 6 months and a huge apology and love declaration...... He was right though.... 2 years later I ended it again. He really didn't love me.... It is so obvious now. Waste of 5 years!

Nothing compared to you lot here but my first boyfriend - been together a couple of years. We had about £5 to feed us both (on way back from holiday and only UK cash we had.)

Me: "We'll stop at McDonald's and have a burger each, we'll have to share a drink. I like anything except still Fanta!"

5 minutes later "Two double cheeseburgers and (smirking) a still Fanta..."

He always was a selfish twat.

During yet another long argument where he made out I was wrong/selfish/derranged, he said, angrily, "You just want everything your own way".
Light bulb moment. I was supposed to say no, and go on to prove how self-less I could be.
But in an instant of recognition I just said "Yes, actually I do" and walked away. He was stunned.
I filed for divorce....never looked back.
And I still like having everything my own way, it's a marvellous feeling!!