The sentence that ended your relationship

[OhHolyFuck]

Sort of a taat, but reading sosos grammar school thread and it got me to thinking

When ex-dp and I were 'trying' (i.e. I was doing the pick me dance/hysterical bonding and he was sexting everything with a pulse and lining up his next victim girlfriend) we had a conversation about celebrities we'd like to be

I said various people for their attributes and then he said he'd be Peter Pan - when I asked why he said 'because I don't ever want to grow up, it's boring isn't it?' and it was a 'scales falling from my eyes' moment - I had morphed into this boring responsible dowdy mum but thank god one of us had because he was simply never going to take responsibility for anything

Every letter he didn't take back to school that I'd had to fill out, every time he was late for work, every time he lived off microwave burgers and spent 20 hours a day gaming - it wasn't me, it was him looking to be forever 16

So what was yours?

"Busted". When I discovered his affair.

When he said I'm going to call your parents they can "sort you out".

"Don't come home tonight, I know you're speaking to [OW] again, you've had too many last chances. I can't do this any more."

Then went through his emails and PayPal to find out she wasn't the only OW and he had been lying about me to his family and was asking them for money, which I never saw so I assume went on all the gifts he was buying the OW (plural).

"If you go off to university I don't know if I will be able to stay faithful"

That was the last time I let any male try to diminish me.

He text me you are not worth it..... I text back yes I am and never spoke or saw him again. 10 year relationship over in a single text. He was an EA arse and now he is making some other woman miserable with his drinking and affairs. Thank the heavens, I was devastated at the time but would kiss him now for doing me such a favour.

'You're so stupid...' before lecturing me on how apparently obvious it was that my sister disliked me. She didn't, she hated him though, I only learnt that after. It was probably the 1000th time he had insulted me over our relationship. I told him I wasn't and to never contact me again. Hung up, left the stuff I had at his place and didn't look back. He tried to call and text everyday for months- I felt so free and still do- it was so many years ago now but count my lucky stars every time I think back to those years.

Ex partner who earned approx 30k, I earned approx £18k.
I paid the mortgage (as it was my house) and the majority of the bills. 10 days after being paid he text me to transfer £20 into his account as he had no money for petrol he'd spent his money on fags and beer. I had £30 to last me the month after the bills had been paid.

He suggested that I ask for an advance at work. Not happening.
He asked me to get money of my parents. Not happening.
He then said 'well don't pay the mortgage as your going to lose the house anyway.'

I'd had years of him bleeding me dry, putting debt on my credit card and then suggested that I make myself and my children homeless. I told him to pack his bags and fuck off back to his mothers as he was no longer welcome in my house. He didn't even argue and went meekly on his way.

When the relate councillor asked if we had any happy moments and I honestly couldn't think of one.

A couple of nails within days:

Context: I came home upset from seeing terminally ill relative -
"Stop seeing them so much."

Context: he texted me to tell me he'd lost his job (through his own negligence - not the first time).
I just replied "OK". And he knew I was done, we both did.

'The drugs don't argue with me, so there you go'

When I found out he had a coke habit and I told him to choose me or the drugs. What a charmer! Best decision I ever made, fucking loser.

"I don't know" said by my not so lovely exH after 20 years of marriage when I found out out he had been shagging someone at work for the last three years and asked "why did you do it?" "I don't know" followed by me saying "do you want us to stay together?" and him replying "I don't know".

Even in the midst of being incredibly hurt and devastated I could only despise him for being a weak twat who could not even own his choices.

Actually this was me trotting out the line of 'I can't do this anymore' swiftly followed by 'I want a divorce'.

Very long time ago but he said , "I've got about £60k equity in my house. It's yours to look after me. We can go to car boot sales on a Sunday and start to enjoy our lives..."

It was over at that point. We were only early forties

"That is abusive!". Said by a friend and neighbour who'd previously defended my then husband's behaviour.

This time I told her that he hadn't spoke to me for over 3 weeks and I had no idea why.

I'm so so sorry but i kissed her.

The end.

Not nearly as bad as some on here, but: 'You're enough for me, why aren't I enough for you?'

.... he didn't like the fact that I had friends.

My df passed away suddenly, about a month after I had left. ExP sealed the deal with 'its alright for you, at least the person you've lost is dead. I've got to walk round knowing that I could bump into you in the street one day'.

Twat.

tomatopuree that's horrendous. I hope life is better for you now.

Right now I'm thinking it might be "I'm scared" when doing something pretty ordinary, he was just out of his comfort zone. I realised we have become very, very different people and I have some thinking to do.

Mine was from a dear friend who I went out to lunch with and was talking about things and saying things were good and happy. He looked me right in the eye and said "please stop lying to me".
My entire world shifted. Someone who loved me finally called me on the BS. And I was finally able to admit to someone that my (now ex) husband was an abusive alcoholic and I was barely hanging on by a thread. Within a fortnight I made my escape plan and ran for my life. Best thing I ever did. I have no regrets and am finally in a truly good place.

When i saw XH had changed his relationship status on Facebook to "ex-twat is in a relationship with...not me his wife of nearly 20 years".

I skipped to the divorce lawyer the next morning.

When I told my best friend that I feared my then husband was seeing someone else. She said,"It's me!"
So much pain and anger and misery, we (husband and I)had been together since school and she was an aspiring actress. You would know her if I told you as she was in a now defunct soap.
"It's me" destroyed me.
I was lucky I went on to remarry and now have lovely children and grandchildren as well as a loving husband.

"I'd love you more if you lost weight"

"I hope that baby dies of cancer" (pointing at our planned unborn baby)

My emotionally , financially and verbally abusive exh shouted "you can't take my marriage away from me".

I sought legal advice the very next day , got my ducks in a row and left two weeks later.

"I think maybe when you and DS go to your mums for the week, you should stay there"

So I did.

After 20 years of marriage I was handed a typed letter as I was going for a shower and told to read it then come downstairs and talk.

It stated what we both knew about growing apart and confessed to an affair ( much younger woman it turns out, such a cliché).

When we talked I suggested counselling as I thought it might be worth trying to save marriage, we were/ are still friendly and have kids to consider... his response " I'll come if you want but I don't think there's any point" told me it was definitely over...